Does anyone have any advice on a relationship with a young cat? It is my girlfriend's cat and I have recently moved in with her. The cat typically will only go to my girlfriend and no one else. Recently though, he seems to be getting used to me on and off, but it took a few months of being around him before he would let me touch him.

Now, he seems to have a love-hate relationship with me and it seems to depend whether or not my girlfriend is around. When she is around, he goes to her first and foremost, but then comes to me and settles down with me afterwards. He can be quite loving; sits on my knee purring and getting petted, brushes round my feet, comes looking for treats when I am cooking, etc. However, when my girlfriend is not around he scratches, hisses and hides away from me.

The cat is around 2 years old and was neutered about 5 months ago. He was an indoor cat, but started going out shortly after his trip to the vet. He typically stays in the reasonably large, enclosed back garden. She has had him since he was a kitten.

I think it's just a case of carrying on and getting to know him, when I married my husband he already had two cats and it took well over a year for them to really settle down and accept I was part of the family, in the mean time we had increased the family with two more cats and I think seeing me with them helped the first two realise I was actually the soft touch who would share my food which convinced them I was going to be an ally not a problem.

I agree with molliepops just carry on as normal . If I were you & you're in the house with the cat by yourself, don't try & approach him, to stroke him or pick him up. Just talk to him, if you like , but other wise carry on doing whatever you are around the house & ignore him .

Eventually he'll approach you. If you're sitting down eg watching the TV & he walks towards you, just offer him the back of your hand for him to sniff , don't put your hand out palm forwards with your fingers outstretched, or he'll think you're going to touch him or stroke him.

In time he'll get used to you, but let him make all the first moves . You could try giving him a few cat bics if he approaches you as well.

Don't take this the wrong way, but are you inherently noisy? Heavy footed, speak loudly, that sort of thing? Some cats don't mind but others can be put right off. Even if you're not, try dialling it down around your new best pal. Speak to him softly, hang out on the floor with him and offer treats and toys, and let him come to you.

He might be a one person cat and tolerate you or he might just be the shy sort who needs a bit of time to warm up. Either way, good luck!

I agree with the other posters OP. You should just ignore the cat when it's just the two of you together (apart from any agreed feeding), and let him make the moves

Thanks for the advice folks. I can see some of these things working.

Let us know how you get on, won't you ?

Yes, will do.

Yesterday I was first home, so let him in from outside. He followed me up the stairs, then ran and hid under a chair. I fed him and left him to it for a bit. Again, he came to me later on when my gf was home.

What a difference this week. It's just been me and the cat all week, so I've been letting him out in the morning and back in at night and feeding/watering him. He let's me come to him, touch him, he sits on my knee purring away. Like a different cat altogether. I wonder if it remains after my girlfriend returns home on Sunday.

Sounds like my Emily. She is my cat. When my fella is here she detests him lol until last week when it was him and her. She would not leave him alone. Playing, loving, snuggles. Until I arrived home lol. He is now the enemy again. Lol