I am looking after my cousins place starting tomorrow for just over a week and today I got to meet the two dogs I am sitting for. A Papillon and a Border Collie both 6 years old.

The Papillon is no problem and neither was the Collie until my cousin told me to try and get her by the collar to lead her into another room. She instantly snapped at me and got aggressive! After that indecent she sort of changed towards me.

My cousin is leaving at 6am and I will be staying at his from 11am but I am very worried now that she will see me as a intruder. She is very loyal to my cousin and because he suffers with aspergers he hardly ever has anybody around his place. I spent 3 hours tonight with the Collie and I am hoping tomorrow when I let myself in she will settle down after a while. Taking her for a walk is out of the question for the next few days until she gets used to me.

What can I do to ease the tension? I told him to leave some snacks by the front door so I can sort of ignore her and drop some snacks near her until she gets used to me.

Please give me some advice! I have never had a dog and only cats before !

Easier said than done but dogs really do pick up on insecurity.

With dogs, there's always a competition to be "leader of the pack" going on.
If you show up and act like you're in charge you'll probably be fine.
If, OTOH, you lack confidence or seem insecure, they'll pick up on that and one of them might decide that he should be "leader of the pack" rather than you.

Rather than relying on somebody else to supply you with dog-treats, I'd suggest you stop off in a shop and buy a cheap bag of dog-biscuits before you go around there.

You're kind of lucky that one dog seems fairly chilled-out.
I'd suggest that you try to be confident and, if necessary, ignore the collie as much as possible if he seems agitated.
Focus your attention on the papillon, make a fuss of him and feed him a couple of dog biscuits.

Sooner or later the collie will decide that he's missing out on fusses and treats and he'll come over to join in which, in doggy-terms, means he wants to join your "pack", and he's happy for you to be in charge.

Also, to be clear, being "confident" and "in charge" doesn't mean trying to order the dogs around or force them to do what you want.
Just act like you're supposed to be there and like you're perfectly happy to have the dogs with you.
I find that talking to dogs helps.
Doesn't really matter what you're talking about. It's all in the tone of voice you use.
As you're pottering around, just say stuff like "Right, I think I'll have a cup of tea and then we'll see what's on the telly".
The dogs will pick up on your tone of voice and if it seems confident and relaxed they'll pick up on it.

Lastly, if there's any dog-toys lying around, be careful about picking them up to get the collie to play.
You might think you're offering to play with him but the collie might decide that you're stealing his stuff and use it as an excuse to challenge your authority.
If there's any toys lying around and the dog is nearby, try pointing at the toys and asking the dog to fetch.
That way, if the dog wants to play with you, he'll grab a toy and bring it to you whereas, if he doesn't want to play, he won't have any excuse to get aggressive because he thinks you're touching his stuff.

Many thanks for this. This is such a great reply. I really couldn't ask for more.

Trying to lead/pull a dog by the collar has to be one of the worst things a relative stranger can do. My girl is the most placid obedient dog you could meet. In fact it's so obvious that when I tell strangers 'She'll have your leg off mind', they fall about laughing. However if anyone, even me, tried to take her anywhere by the collar, she would get alarmed and resist. Many dogs would be threatened by it
Until you can rebuild trust try not to invade her space. Get down to her level and wait for her to come to you - for a treat maybe. Try to let her initiate contact and have a good sniff before taking things further. That said you might find you have no problem putting on a lead - especially once you are seen as the bringer of food.
Not sure about not taking a 6 year old border collie out for a walk for a few days. Collies need exercise and activity. If you are unsure is there no one who could accompany you?

I agree MrsG I have very good dogs would never be aggressive but I treat them kindly I would never grab a collar and try to move them so they really wouldn't be expecting anyone else to do it. We do things by cooperation and with treats etc and if I were dealing with a dog I didn't know I would never grab a collar.

Just to pick up on that, I think that's a whole subject in itself.

You have to be very careful about intimidating a "new" dog.
Movements which are totally innocent can be seem threatening for a dog.
Just standing in front of a dog can seem, to the dog, like you're "looming" over them.
And then, if you reach across the dog to, say, pick up a cup off a kitchen worktop, the dog might think you're doing something aggressive.

Conversely, if you sit on the floor, in an attempt to "get down on the dog's level", an aggressive dog might decide that it's worth seeing if he can assert his authority over you.
After all, you don't actually want a new dog to consider you as an "equal". You want the dog to think of you as the boss - just not a boss who's scary.

As a rule, I'd suggest that a person probably should try and stay "above" a new dog while the dog's trying to decide who's the boss but, at the same time, they should ensure they give the dog some space and avoid doing things which a dog might make the dog nervous.
Try to stay within the dog's line of sight and keep your hands and arms where the dog can see them so the dog doesn't worry that you're trying to do something "behind his back" etc.

Again, I find that talking as you're doing stuff helps with this.
If a dog's sat on the floor and you reach over to a shelf to pick up your phone, for example, the dog will just see this gigantic person who's arm suddenly sticks out beyond his line of sight and he might become defensive if he wonders what that arm is doing.
If, OTOH, you just say "right, I think I'll check the emails on my phone" in a calm voice before you reach to pick up your phone then it will, at least, give the dog some warning that something's about to happen and your tone of voice will, hopefully, reassure the dog that it's not something he should be concerned about.

To reiterate, though, I think it's important, when trying to gain a dog's trust, that you avoid creating situations where the dog can't really see what you're doing or where the dog might become defensive because you're waving your arms around outside it's field of vision.

And, especially, try to avoid doing things where you move outside the dog's field of vision and then do something which makes a loud noise.

For example, if the dog's sitting facing you and you reach across him and drop a cup into the kitchen sink, the dog might start to become uneasy when he sees an arm disappear over his head somewhere and then when he hears the "clonk" as the cup gets dropped into the sink, he's likely to get thoroughly spooked.

I would say, you can best bond with the dogs if you do take them for a walk.
Go to the door with the leads in your hand and see if they come running. All dogs love going for a walk imo.

Isn't taking the collie for a walk going to be difficult as the OP will need to attach a lead to its collar?

Should be able to do that with out grabbing and attempting to pull the dog which sounds like caused the problem. Personally though I would say if anyone is afraid of a dog they shouldn't be in charge of it. Dogs know and it unsettles them.

Yes it's not the same at all. Though I suppose the dog could now be wary.

Did your cousin tell you how he trains the dogs? That would have been beneficial. I hope you have vets details too and you have their routine details.

You can apply lots of the practice in this video if the dog is clicker trained. If it's not trained in that way (shame if not as it's great way to teach a dog) then you could use 'good *name* in a soothing voice. You can also reward the dog with small treats (keep a watch on how much you feed him at mealtimes to avoid weight gain) when he comes close to you. If you must, lure him with a tasty treat and lightly touch the collar. Don't do any more than this. But he'll come to associate a collar touch with yummy stuff. Gradually progress to placing your hand a little longer, then next time touch the metal ring. Build it up slowly and go back a step if you think he's worried.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k7edMjwEY1c

I'm appalled that you've been left with two dogs at such short notice. I can only assume that it's short notice if you have not stayed over or walked with them much? I wonder if you could look at the Dog Pages or Pet Forum and see if you can find a walk buddy near you to help?

For heaven's sake don't let them off the lead, unless you've been taught to recall a dog and have your phone number on their collar, are authorised by your cousin to speak to the vet then you're both being hugely irresponsible. Dog sitters cost money and there is good reason for this.

ETA: you say three hours tonight and you're seeing the Collie tomorrow - are you leaving the dogs alone overnight?!

Great advice but in all honesty I think it's a bad idea to be looking after a dog you're nervous of. However you have to make the best of it. I find dog treats work wonders getting a dog to do what you want but make sure if you give a treat you put it on your flat hand rather that between your fingers and allow the dog to take it at its pace.
I agree about giving the dog space and speak to it if its in its bed and you need to go near it so you don't startle it. I'd give the dog space when you feed it too.

Good luck, I'm sure it will be ok with plenty of common sense.

I took it to mean that the OP spent 3 hours with the dog the day before the cousin went away?.

I only ever entrusted mine once to a neighbour and he 'lost' her. In fact she made her way home without him and was waiting at the door. Fortunately we lived out in the sticks - no traffic. He's fitter than me and he had outpaced her. She however was used to me dawdling behind and on losing sight of him had turned back to look for him. It's little things like that, it's them knowing you and you knowing them. It's knowing that they will stick their head in a pile of cow poo given half a chance and all the other little things we know and love.

I wasn't sure, I thought it was worth checking but hopefully I'm wrong and you're right


Yes agree, all about knowing the dog. I am glad your dog had the sense to get home safely but it must have been so scary for you.

To be honest, if a dog growled/snapped/ turned on me whilst the owner was still around, there is no way I would be offering to look after it for a day, let alone a whole week on my own! I would tell the owner that I'd look after the one that was ok with me, but the snappy one had to go to boarding kennels, and if he didnt want them separating, they'd both have to go there, end of. A week is a long time to be left with such a dog, especially as you say, you've never had a dog before, so understandably won't know or be able to read their body language. Collies are extremly intelligent and will quickly (very quickly) learn if the person in charge of them is up to the job or not, and if your not, you've had it, they will run rings around you. Their designed to make sheep move where and when they command it, and not back down no matter how challenged, so if they see someone as 'weak', they will use the same tactics to try and control them. And if you wont comply, they will do what they do to stubborn sheep - a swift nip to show they mean business. Their smart and bred to be able to think for themselves, so if you don't make sure they know whose boss, they will own you, which is why their not really suitable for novice, inexperienced or first time owners.

If you do decide to look after this dog, I would be very careful and try and use a slip lead that you can just loop over its head without touching it's head/neck, rather than fiddling about trying to clip a lead to its collar. No dog should mind having it's neck/ collar touched, if my dog's off lead and a car comes past, I will hold her by the collar until it's gone past, she wouldn't growl let alone snap at someone for holding her like that, and neither would any of my customer's dogs. If a dogs off lead and you need to restrain it quickly, there's nothing to grab but the collar and I've yet to meet an owner who hasn't quickly dragged their dog away from something by its collar.

Totally agree. That said it is being done from the position of an established relationship between you and your dog. The only time I would attempt to pull a strange dog by it's collar would be if it was attacking mine. Apart from once when I managed to nab a dog which had gone awol from the neighbour who was looking after it for a friend. Guess what - it bit me! (and I didn't even get a bottle of wine for my troubles )
Tbh I was a bit surprised when the OP said the owner suggested taking the dog by the collar into another room. While the dog shouldn't have snapped, it wasn't the greatest of introductions.

You have now.

In 40 years of dog ownership, I've never even put a collar on any of my dogs.

If a dog doesn't do what you tell it to via verbal commands, you haven't trained it properly.

http://www.thekennelclub.org.uk/trai...fication-tags/

I guess you don't go to public places then?

You guess wrongly.

Whilst I agree that startling a dog by just grabbing it by the collar out of nowhere would almost certainly incite a growl, if not a snap/bite, presumably the OP had been around the dog whilst talking to to the owner, getting to know the dogs, possibly been talking/petting them, then after being told by the owner, held the collar to lead it into another room. It wasn't startled/grabbed out of the blue so shouldn't have gone straight to snapping, unless it's an aggressive/defensive/got issues dog, in which case it's not really a good idea to have somebody with absolutely no experience of a dog at all looking after it unaided. In hindsight, putting it on the lead to move it would possibly have been better, but if the dog had point blank taken offence to a stranger making it do something it didn't want, it might not have made a difference anyway.


Do you have a lot of land so you don't have to take them out of your property then? It's a legal requirement that a dog in public must be wearing a collar and a tag or some other form of owner ID, no matter how obedient it is. Even if you use a slip lead the dog would still have to be wearing a collar. The only dogs that I see with no collar are sheepdogs which stay on their own land.

No, I just ignore any such requirement.

Can't imagine ignoring such a safety conscious law when a collar isn't expensive and could be a life saver.

We don't use collars to lead them or to attach a lead much prefer a harness, but just so they are not taken from us for ignoring the law they have collars and tags when we are out.

I prefer to simply decide, for myself, whether a thing is beneficial.

If I had a dog that was likely to go missing then I would certainly consider using a collar but, then again, I don't think I'd ever consider the dog's training complete while that was the case.

The fact remains, however, that I have NEVER needed to grab one of my dogs by the collar to gain it's compliance.

My dog is obedient, under control at all times, has an instant recall and will walk by my side without a lead. I live in the middle of the countryside so she's very often off lead, but if a car comes I will grab hold of her collar, not because she's not controllable but because situations are. No matter how well behaved a dog, it can still be startled by something you wouldn't think twice about, the rustling of an empty crisp packet, somebody else walking by with a dog that suddenly goes for yours, a bird, cat or something which catches it's eye, all could spook a dog out and cause it to leap into or across a road, only takes a split second. The most obedient dog can forget it's training if the temptation is big enough and the owner might not be quick enough to react. Personally I would never risk not having a collar to catch hold of, as that means I'd have to grab her by the scruff of her neck which except in a dire emergency, I wouldn't want to do.