Originally Posted by star89:
“I'm not excited by big stunts happening all the time but I loved siege week so if it's as good as that then I'll be happy
Plus there's quite a few characters that I'd like to see the back of so fingers crossed 
”
“I'm not excited by big stunts happening all the time but I loved siege week so if it's as good as that then I'll be happy
Plus there's quite a few characters that I'd like to see the back of so fingers crossed ”
Oh, I know you're right, and I'm sure I'll watch and giggle along. I'm just being grumpy.
Originally Posted by Pandora.:
“To be honest, this is brilliant news. Hopefully it'll be a set of brutal, brutal killings, one per episode.
Monday: Angry at being rejected by her for the 50th time that month, Rishi finally has an epiphany and realises he's better off without that snooty cow (and coincidentally is better off away from the village). Realising an easy way to dispose of her, he drags her by the wig into the factory, announcing venomously that as the mother of Jai, she is responsible for inflicting the nasty pillock on the villagers. They proceed to force her to choke on some Sharma gobstoppers. Before the 'workers' can use their collective brain cell to realise Rishi is responsible for Jai's existence too, he has fled the village forever (to star in a new range of M&M adverts).
Tuesday: Shock! As Charity Dingle escapes from prison to wreak revenge on those who have wronged her. After becoming an avid reader of poetry whilst in prison, Charity does a "Porphyria's Lover" and strangles Lisa with her own hair, much to the applause of her family. Whilst the Dingles celebrate by cracking open the moonshine and taking their earplugs out, Charity decides to take inspiration from Game of Thrones and poison's Rachel's Home-Farm-pigeon pie. 'Sadly', Sammy had already taken a bite and he dies painfully on the floor of the Dingle's hovel too...
Wednesday: ...but Charity's reign is not yet over. She turns up at the factory, where she finds Jai trying to work out how to act "grief". Before he can open his mouth, Charity clobbers him with a book called "Acting for Dummies" that she found lying nearby. For the remaining 29 minutes of the episode, she proceeds to beat him senseless and fulfill all of our fantasies. This episode contains no advert breaks to maximise viewer pleasure, and the usual ending theme is replaced by Kool & The Gang's "Celebrate", with disco themed graphics.
Thursday: In a two-parter expected to overjoy viewers across the world, Ashley decides to hold some public lynchings to bring the community together. He finally decides to get revenge on "power couple" Maurel for ruining his life. In part one we see a completely wasted Laurel stagger up to the noose under the impression that there is a bottle of vodka awaiting her there. Full spoilers are yet to be revealed for the rest of Thursday's episode but we are promised that it will be brutal, graphic and thoroughly enjoyable. The same fate awaits Marlon in the second episode, as he prepares to join the 256 'loves of his life' in hell.
Friday: Now this week wouldn't be complete without the slaying of everybody's most-hated cafe worked Brenda "Wendy" Hope. Producers are being very cagey about how Brenda will meet her end, but we have been promised that at least some of it will take place on a giant pyre in the centre of the village. Rumour has it that online viewers will be able to vote for which other methods will be used to dispose of the villager witch. Apparently there will be no limit - any method which receives any number of votes will be used! Options are expected to include a medley of the methods used over the last 4 episodes, alongside old favourites like Brenda being fed through Moira Barton's meat grinder. Viewers will also be able to give producers their own suggestions for this climactic event.
You may be wondering where the wooden plank that is James Barton is in all of this...
”
“To be honest, this is brilliant news. Hopefully it'll be a set of brutal, brutal killings, one per episode.
Monday: Angry at being rejected by her for the 50th time that month, Rishi finally has an epiphany and realises he's better off without that snooty cow (and coincidentally is better off away from the village). Realising an easy way to dispose of her, he drags her by the wig into the factory, announcing venomously that as the mother of Jai, she is responsible for inflicting the nasty pillock on the villagers. They proceed to force her to choke on some Sharma gobstoppers. Before the 'workers' can use their collective brain cell to realise Rishi is responsible for Jai's existence too, he has fled the village forever (to star in a new range of M&M adverts).
Tuesday: Shock! As Charity Dingle escapes from prison to wreak revenge on those who have wronged her. After becoming an avid reader of poetry whilst in prison, Charity does a "Porphyria's Lover" and strangles Lisa with her own hair, much to the applause of her family. Whilst the Dingles celebrate by cracking open the moonshine and taking their earplugs out, Charity decides to take inspiration from Game of Thrones and poison's Rachel's Home-Farm-pigeon pie. 'Sadly', Sammy had already taken a bite and he dies painfully on the floor of the Dingle's hovel too...
Wednesday: ...but Charity's reign is not yet over. She turns up at the factory, where she finds Jai trying to work out how to act "grief". Before he can open his mouth, Charity clobbers him with a book called "Acting for Dummies" that she found lying nearby. For the remaining 29 minutes of the episode, she proceeds to beat him senseless and fulfill all of our fantasies. This episode contains no advert breaks to maximise viewer pleasure, and the usual ending theme is replaced by Kool & The Gang's "Celebrate", with disco themed graphics.
Thursday: In a two-parter expected to overjoy viewers across the world, Ashley decides to hold some public lynchings to bring the community together. He finally decides to get revenge on "power couple" Maurel for ruining his life. In part one we see a completely wasted Laurel stagger up to the noose under the impression that there is a bottle of vodka awaiting her there. Full spoilers are yet to be revealed for the rest of Thursday's episode but we are promised that it will be brutal, graphic and thoroughly enjoyable. The same fate awaits Marlon in the second episode, as he prepares to join the 256 'loves of his life' in hell.
Friday: Now this week wouldn't be complete without the slaying of everybody's most-hated cafe worked Brenda "Wendy" Hope. Producers are being very cagey about how Brenda will meet her end, but we have been promised that at least some of it will take place on a giant pyre in the centre of the village. Rumour has it that online viewers will be able to vote for which other methods will be used to dispose of the villager witch. Apparently there will be no limit - any method which receives any number of votes will be used! Options are expected to include a medley of the methods used over the last 4 episodes, alongside old favourites like Brenda being fed through Moira Barton's meat grinder. Viewers will also be able to give producers their own suggestions for this climactic event.
You may be wondering where the wooden plank that is James Barton is in all of this...
Spoiler
Someone give this person a storylining job. The BIBs are pure genius.
If they're going to go all Wicker Man in the village, I'd definitely watch.
