EastEnders bosses have announced that the theme tune will be changed to reflect the power of Shirley Week.

A lyric video has been released on IPlayer which consists of Ms Carter singing "NER NER NER, NER NER NER NER, NER NER NER NER NER, NER NER NER NER, NER NER NER, NER NER NER, NER NER NER NERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!"

LOL top thread and perfectly captured my annoyance with Shirley under DTC . Take a bow, dullag .

Also, next week, Phil discovers Shirley is the true culprit behind his shooting in 2000. Phil is incensed at this revelation and calls a Mitchell family meeting to decide what to do about Shirley. Unbeknowst to Phil, Shirley has already invited herself over to the Mitchell house and demands Phil have sex with her on the condition that her boots stay on .

Shirley's the best of the lot - its the others you wanna have a go at.

The History of Linda Carter.


Ever wondered why Angie Watts couldn't have kids? She was once a man. A man named Alan. Alan Keys. Alan Keys was the father of Peggy Mitchell's illegitimate bastard child and here's the story...

After several ear-piercing heaves of "GERADA MA MUFF" Peggy Mitchell's baby daughter was born. The baby girl was wailing like an air raid siren. "I fink you mighta slapped her arse a bit too hard there doc, she might not like it rough like me ooh behave" she flirted. The doctor sighed. The doctor had bad news "Mrs Mitchell, I'm afraid... " he couldn't bring himself to say it. "Warrizzit Doc? Spit it out!". The Doctor took a deep breath and just came out with it "That's not your daughter's arse you're looking at. It's her face". Peggy Mitchell was in a state of shock. "You mean... ". The doctor silenced Peggy with a foreboding nod. "Yes Mrs Mitchell. It saddens me to tell you this, but until her dying day your daughter will have a face like a slapped arse."

The doctor gave Peggy a couple of minutes to deal with the news. "Where do you want us to go from here? " he asked. Peggy stared at the demonic bundle of destruction caused by her feckless ways. "Let it burn" she cried. The doctor mulled over the thought for a second or two. He was sure the east end would be a better place without the gurning gremlin child, but he was a professional.

Peggy Mitchell was going to have to get rid of the baby herself. Could she really bring herself to end the life of such and innocent child?...

End of Part One.

Scarlett Johanssen has been announced for the 3 hour arthouse film "Girl With A Shirl Earring." "Its an honour to work with such an icon as Shirley Carter she gushed. I was supposed to do a movie with George Clooney but I turned it down. How could I miss this?"

We need a Carter one!

I've just spat wine all over my laptop bursting out laughing and making myself look like a loon I had to explain to MrL and MamaL what I was laughing at and mum (who doesn't watch EE) just looked bewildered but MrL was in hysterics too

Well done Dullag, just get better and better!







You forget about the bonus CD where Shirley pays tribute to Abba:

Dancing Shirl
Take A Chance on Shirl
Gimme Gimme Gimme (A Shirl After Midnight)
Knowing Me, Knowing Shirl


and Adele:

Set Fire To The Shirl (a very popular track which almost made the main album)
Someone Like Shirl
Rolling In The Shirl (which she dedicated to Phil)


and Aerosmith:

Shirley's Got A Gun (which wasn't dedicated to Phil)


And a couple of golden oldies (changed word in brackets)

That Old Devil Called Shirl (love)
Mustang Shirl (Sally)
Shirley On My Mind (Georgia)
Miss Shirley Regrets (Otis)


Not forgetting the Irish Classics:

Dirty Old Shirley (town)
Shirley's Drunken Nights (seven drunken nights)
The Wild Shirley (rover)

Very exciting rumours on Twitter that Shirley is going to making a crossover appearance in both The Walking Dead and Game of Thrones.

Shirley to be visited by a ghost from the past

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uxLFO8ozA2Y

Love it Lotty

More from Shirley Carter: Diva. Ms Carter Sings

Cheer Up Creepy Dean
Gimme Gimme Gimme A Stan After Midnight
Take A Chance on Lee
(You Are The) Prancing Dean (I Should Have Drowned You When You Were 17)
Diamonds and Shirls
Phil Me Up Buttercup
You Can Keep Your Boots On
My Philshake Brings All The Boys to the Yard
Philly Jean (Is not my lover)
Tequila

Comes with free Shirl Necklace provided by Phil Mitchell

Here's a few more inspired songs:

Proud Shirley (Ike and Tina Turner)
Nasty Shirl (Destiny's Child)
Shirls on Film (Duran Duran)

Next week's episodes will follow Shirley as she discovers she is the mother of Sharon and Lola. Horrified by this revelation, Shirley seeks advice from Mick. After a heart-to-heart with her son, she decides the best way forward is to reveal the truth to Sharon and Lola. However, when Shirley arrives at the Mitchell house, she hears voices and realises somebody has beaten her to it. Running inside, she is hurt to discover Mick has told the Mitchells the truth. Shirley looks around the room to find her daughters and witnesses Sharon and Lola holding pitchforks. Shirley is intimidated by the sight of her daughters and begins running. Will she survive?

Game of Carters - new 100-part BBC fantasy series following the trials and tribulations of the Carter dynasty. Three siblings - Shirley, Mick and Tina fight for control over the mythical land of Walford and plot to overthrow Phillip Mitchell, the King of Walford. When King Mitchell discovers the Carters are plotting to overthrow him, he declares war on his old flame Shirley Carter and the Carter Dynasty. Who will win the Game of Carters?

Love it!!!

Who needs Games of Thrones, eh .


Tune in to Friday's episode when Shirley Carter makes an explosive return to Walford after a 30 second absence from the Square. Expect fireworks when she comes face-to-face with the Mitchells with bodgyguards in tow and lays a bombshell on her old flame. Phil is concerned to learn that Shirley is the new head gangster of The Firm.

Shirley & Tina are fantastic, you've overstepped the mark this time!.

Unlike Michelle Collins/Stella, Linda Henry has been serving as Shirley for nearly a decade now, so IF she IS overused, then good for her. The same can not be said for her vile family, who are shoved down our throats at every given opportunity.

Also, let's not forget we got over a months break from Shirley last October/November... Why do Mick & Linda's holidays never last as long?

Shirley has banned me from Elstree.


The list is endless. Shirl Power, love it.


That's from the post watershed edition written by Ming Ho.


A sure hit. Love that scene.


Haha. Xx


Doh!


She's sounding great. It's no1 on iplayer.


**bows with reddened cheeks**


Go Scarlett!


Thanks Lotty.

I just hope she doesn't go the same way as Elvis.

Mustang Shirl.


My Philshake.


Our Shirl's got a lot of recording to do.


Epic!!!! This would be 10 times better than the original.

A Nightmare Called Shirley

One, two, Shirley's coming for you.
Three, four, she's drinking and wants more.
Five, six, she's up to dirty old tricks.
Seven, eight, she's in some state.
Nine, ten, she's rough again.

This has to be one of my favourite DS threads EVER. DS is fun again!

Well done all!




Love all the posts but had to give a special nod to this one, LOVE what I bolded!





Anyway, hot off the press is the news that Shirley love is spreading to other musicians!

Oasis have reformed especially to tweak some of their classics, expect to hear;

Roll With Shirl
The Meaning of Shirl
The Importance of Being Shirley
Champagne ShirleyCarter
Wondershirl
Shirl Might Say
Shirl's Electric

coming your way soon.


Olly Murs was heard singing 'Dance With Shirl Tonight' at the Newcastle Arena on Saturday night (it went down a storm)

Rick Astley is attempting yet another comeback climbing on the Shirley bandwagon by releasing 'Never Gonna Give Shirl Up'..... as are Dexy's Midnight Runners with 'Come On Shirley'.


Mick Hucknull has been heard warbling 'Shirley Got Me Started' and declaring that she's the most beautiful woman he hasn't shagged .... yet. Unfortunately he won't be told that he's got hair so he's got no chance.


But Shirl love is spreading stateside!

Mick Jagger was caught on karaoke in New York singing 'I Can't Get No Shirley Action'

There are rumours Michael Buble has added 'I Just Haven't Told Shirl Yet' to his tour list much to his managers chagrin who was last seen chucking shoes at Michael.

Maroon 5's rendition of 'Moves Like Shirley' went down a storm at their recent Detroit gig.


The Arctic Monkey's thought they'd join in and released a new version of their classic When The Sun Goes Down but subtly changing it to 'When The Shirl Went Down' but were immediately banned by Radio 1. They know it's a guaranteed winner now though




But even more exciting but unconfirmed news is that the makers of 'The X Files' have sacked Gillian Anderson and want Shirley in her place. They think Mulder and Shirley has a certain ring to it and are apparently going to relocate to Albert Square to solve the really big mysteries such as - where has Lola disappeared to and why has no one noticed? Where does Phil get all his money? Why are women attracted to Max? How come soldier Lee gets so much time off? It's got winner written all over it

Coming this week on EastEnders, a drunken Shirley makes a shocking discovery whilst rummaging through Stan's house. After finding a diary belonging to her great grandmother, Nora Carter, she learns that her ancestors built Albert Square in the 1800s, confirming Shirley's suspicions that she is the true Queen of Walford. A smug Shirley is quick to reveal this fact to Sharon and the entire Vic, mocking her love rival for ever thinking she was the Queen of Walford. Shirley is ordered to leave the Vic by Linda as a tearful Sharon struggles to take in the news. She questions whether her whole life has been a lie and cries uncontrollably.

They already made a show called Shirley week. No wait that was Terrahawks.

And alienate all of them too?

Is Shirl one of the dragons? Is that why she is an 'old flame?'

Exclusive: Zayn Malik, reveals the true reasons behind his 1D departure

In an interview with What the Shirl Zayn Malik revealed he left One Direction, after talking to his long term friend and new manager Shirley Carter, she advised him it was time to step away from the shadows and make a name for himself. He also revealed, he has teamed up with Ms Carter for his debut single, which has been predicted to the biggest summer song of 2015.

Ms Carter wars
In a poll done by 'What's hot & what's not' a overwhelming 95% voted The Carters over Beyonce & Jay Z Carter as their favourite 'Carters'. In celebration of this news, the Carters threw a karaoke party at their pub, unfortunately Dame Shirley Carter was on tour so was unable to attend.

Shirley Carter Vs Shirley Benson is A MUST for Shirley Week to determine who the Undisputed Shirley really is. Shirley C would use vodka bottles as her weapon of choice. Shirley B would blare out the loudest emitting music from concert speakers.

Stupid trivia - Shirley C's choice of footwear is boots; Shirley B's dearly departed cat went by the name of Boots. That is MORE THAN just a coincidence!!!!!!!!!!!!!

They both share a unique bond.