The first sign of pregnancy is when a woman faints

When a couple are splitting up, the one leaving manages to pack all their things into 1 small bag taking things only from the nearest drawer

If you have something important to tell someone, each time you try you will be interrupted. They will only find out your secret when they over hear you telling someone else.

Everyone spends all their free time in the pub or café, no matter how ‘skint’ they claim to be.

When you meet someone and fall in love, they will automatically leave their comfortable home / job / life to move into your poky flat with you, never to mention their property/ previous life ever again

Long-lost mothers can return after a 20 year absence, but within 3 episodes will be firmly ensconced into neighbourhood and reconciled with family.

Oh, and people can come back from the dead

Anyone else have any thoughts??

Finding a job is as easy as asking the owner of a local business down the pub. No interview, preparation or previous experience required!

Has anyone ever walked into a bar and asked for 'my usual', apart from in soaps?

You can decide to move to another country on a whim and be there within a few hours having quit your job, packed a weekend bag of belongings and said your goodbyes. No official business etc to deal with.

If you have an adopted child they will be found within a matter of weeks, move in and start calling you mum like their old life never happened.

No matter how skint you are under no circumstance will you claim benefits.

Want a baby? Have a one night stand

Your biggest ambition in life will be to work within your street/village

Nobody is in the least bit bothered that they have so many murders in their tiny bits of blighty. A community amnesia seems to envelope them.

Weekends never exist. If something happens on a friday, you can guarantee that when it is Monday, friday's events are always referred to "yesterday". So that means school children never have the weekend to chill out and that Dot never gets a chance to go to church on a sunday.

You can order a drink in a pub and never pay for it.

Jobs and homes outside of the soap's main areas do not seem to exist. If only we could all have jobs that are just over the road from our own home.

Yes they have. A pub I sometimes go to has its regulars and I've heard a few people ask for 'my usual'. The bar staff get to know their regulars' favourites after a while. It's not just pubs either. A year or so back I went through a phase of going to Greggs for a fresh cream apple danish on my way to work every Friday. After a couple of months the chap serving asked me if I wanted a fresh cream apple danish before I said anything! Again they get to know what their regulars have.