My need for balance and order is very pleased that there will, once again, be an even number of male and female pros back on Strictly. Yes, I know the pro-pairings hardly mean shit these days and everyone gets jumbled about like tea-towels inappropriately on the same wash-cycle with a load of Y-Fronts but at least I won't have to watch the show feeling slightly fidgety and uncomfortable because 'Nurse! It's not all even!!!!!'
So who would you put together?
Tristan and Aliona - They have great chemistry and I would love to see them do a Rumba together (no, not in a pervy way - I'm reserving that for my fantasy Tristan and Aljaz Rumba). He also went well with Iveta (sob!). He and Kristina are ok but I'm not really feeling it.
Brendan and Natalie - IMO Natalie was better with Ian and Trent but this is the most logical, if not the most exciting, pairing. Brendan and Aliona were quite a good fit but, if reports are to be believed, he doesn't like her. (I feel you have to be hot, girly, needy and half-in-love with him for Brendan to like you if you are a woman). They still need a really tall male pro.
Anton and Joanne - Ballroom-wise and height-wise they are suited. The really creepy uncle effect is just unfortunate. Yes, on paper Joanne and Aljaz go well together but I still maintain that's like putting Bonnie Langford in an Al Pacino movie so I'm not having it.
Janette and Pasha - Height-wise and discipline-wise it works. I think they could do some incredible, sparky latin routines. Janette and Aljaz have great chemistry but, obviously, the height difference is limiting. Pasha and Ola were ok but not very exciting last year.
Ola and Kevin - Mwaaah-haaa-haa-haa-ha! I am so evil! They'd have to use so many cans of 'Toughen-Up' a naked flame could prove deadly. They can't stand each other but, in terms of height and discipline, it works. Maybe the mutual disdain could pull off some passionate performances. Karen is too tall for Kevin and they have zero chemistry.
Giovanni and Kristina - He's friends with Joanne but he's a latin boy and she's a ballroom girl. It may be difficult for Kristina to partner a pro who's been brought in to replace her long-time partner but I think they would have great chemistry. He does a great jive and has lots of personality, as has Kristina.
Aljaz and Otlile - If there was a god, and I was that god, then Aljaz would be partnered with Iveta (sob!). They looked right together, they had chemistry, they could be hot, they could be funny and they were all-rounders. But now that the world is a cold, lonely, brutal and unfair place then it's going to have to be Otlile. Otlile is totally fierce and fabulous when it comes to latin so my only doubt is that she would limit Aljaz's ability to perform wonderful ballroom. Natalie is a fraction too tall for him (as she is a bit for Brendan), Brendan couldn't do latin with Otlile, and I've already given Aliona to Tristan, so this is the best I could do.
Gleb and Karen - Because they are the two left over. I'd put Karen with Aljaz, because they get on, but I don't think they'd have any chemistry. Height-wise and discipline-wise she is a good match for Gleb. I actually think they could pull off a decent ContempoBollocksRumba together now that that's a thing.
So who would you put together?
Tristan and Aliona - They have great chemistry and I would love to see them do a Rumba together (no, not in a pervy way - I'm reserving that for my fantasy Tristan and Aljaz Rumba). He also went well with Iveta (sob!). He and Kristina are ok but I'm not really feeling it.
Brendan and Natalie - IMO Natalie was better with Ian and Trent but this is the most logical, if not the most exciting, pairing. Brendan and Aliona were quite a good fit but, if reports are to be believed, he doesn't like her. (I feel you have to be hot, girly, needy and half-in-love with him for Brendan to like you if you are a woman). They still need a really tall male pro.
Anton and Joanne - Ballroom-wise and height-wise they are suited. The really creepy uncle effect is just unfortunate. Yes, on paper Joanne and Aljaz go well together but I still maintain that's like putting Bonnie Langford in an Al Pacino movie so I'm not having it.
Janette and Pasha - Height-wise and discipline-wise it works. I think they could do some incredible, sparky latin routines. Janette and Aljaz have great chemistry but, obviously, the height difference is limiting. Pasha and Ola were ok but not very exciting last year.
Ola and Kevin - Mwaaah-haaa-haa-haa-ha! I am so evil! They'd have to use so many cans of 'Toughen-Up' a naked flame could prove deadly. They can't stand each other but, in terms of height and discipline, it works. Maybe the mutual disdain could pull off some passionate performances. Karen is too tall for Kevin and they have zero chemistry.
Giovanni and Kristina - He's friends with Joanne but he's a latin boy and she's a ballroom girl. It may be difficult for Kristina to partner a pro who's been brought in to replace her long-time partner but I think they would have great chemistry. He does a great jive and has lots of personality, as has Kristina.
Aljaz and Otlile - If there was a god, and I was that god, then Aljaz would be partnered with Iveta (sob!). They looked right together, they had chemistry, they could be hot, they could be funny and they were all-rounders. But now that the world is a cold, lonely, brutal and unfair place then it's going to have to be Otlile. Otlile is totally fierce and fabulous when it comes to latin so my only doubt is that she would limit Aljaz's ability to perform wonderful ballroom. Natalie is a fraction too tall for him (as she is a bit for Brendan), Brendan couldn't do latin with Otlile, and I've already given Aliona to Tristan, so this is the best I could do.
Gleb and Karen - Because they are the two left over. I'd put Karen with Aljaz, because they get on, but I don't think they'd have any chemistry. Height-wise and discipline-wise she is a good match for Gleb. I actually think they could pull off a decent ContempoBollocksRumba together now that that's a thing.




. I think Tristan and Aliona are HOT together - just that few seconds of rumba to Shirley Bassey's Goldfinger - also the Danny Boy number - I think they're great together.
