Especially women; I have noticed. If a HM - especially a woman - does not know their 'place,' then they are not liked. I thought that the way that they all shredded Jade on BOTS, last night, was so unnecessary, and I am not even a Jade fan. I don't like her, or dislike her. So far, she hasn't been unbearable, or great. I mean, if half of the people on the BOTS panel and audience thought a little higher of themselves, then maybe they'd be a bit happier. Vanessa and the girl from last years CBB saying that Jade positive self-talk was nauseating was a gross exaggeration, in my opinion.

I did not think that it was arrogant at all. It was tempered confidence, which we should all have. It seemed harmless and like a positive thing. But no, the public love for people to either be on their level or below them, which is really f*cked up when you think about it.

Why is it that people always have to be hard-done-by, terribly unsure of themselves, or 'normal,' - translation: boring - in order to be liked? I think that it's a very negative thing, and says a lot about how the public views themselves. It says a lot that we simply cannot bear to see a woman who knows her worth, and feel like we need to bring her down a peg or two. Christian's VT was terribly smug and cocky, yet he was met with cheers. Jade's VT was nowhere near as nauseating, yet she was met with boos.

We all should view ourselves in a more positive image, and enjoy more confidence within ourselves. We'd get on a whole lot better. But God forbid we have people in the public image who portray this about themselves, because then we have to tear them down to our own level of insecurity and unhappiness.

Anywho, that's my two cents lol.

I think there's two groups of people who watch BB.

The ones on the forums and the ones on social media.

Ones on the forum - Women shouldn't be hated if their confident (Jade). However, if a man is confident they are hugely disliked (Cristian).

Ones on social media - The confident men are so hot omg (Cristian). However, if a woman is confident they are slaggy bitches (Jade).

How about the third group... those of us who don't like it when any HM is confident whether they are male or female

I would love to be able to include that, but I've never ever seen a poster that seems to genuinely think like that.

Hmmm. Really? That is an interesting observation. One that I have not picked up on myself yet. I actually don't know if it can be reduced to such black and white terms though. I think that it is wider spread than people on the forum, and the people on social media. It is a cultural thing. Even outside of BB, we see it with celebrities a lot - the British public needing to tear people down.

I have not noticed that anyone hates any of the confident guys on the forum. Confidence is different from smug/arrogant. I feel like we often get the two mixed up, according to our internal motive as to who we want to like, and who we don't. But then feeling like we want to like one archetype of person over another, also comes with it's own set of conditioning too.

Vanessa and the girl from last year's CBB might have had everyone else nodding their heads last night, but I saw through it, and their ugliness/bitterness was so very very apparent!!! It was so uncalled for, and malicious. If someone thinks they are attractive, then why can't they say it? It's not as if Jade pours it on. She says it almost casually, as if making conversation. Yet, we can't seem to handle that. It's really quite sad.

Well towards the end of BB7 Pete told someone that he had had a dream in which a dead friend of his told him he would win and that if he didn't win after that he wouldn't be able to believe in god anymore

He was then subject to a massive amount of ridicule on here

confidence is fine - it's arrogance that makes me dislike someone

Indeed, don't know why so many can't seem to grasp this.

The Irish girls never do well (apart from Anna) ..not sure why? I think Jade is no more or less than any other wanabee BB contestant.

For what it's worth, irrespective of her gender, I found Gina Rio totally insufferable, deluded and imo to be a fanaticist and yet she was beloved by many on this forum (Queen Gina and other ridiculous monikers) So it's all down to personal choice I think. Some people just rub us up the wrong way. Right now I cannot stand Kieran..

Too much positivity is harmful. Haven't you heard of Pollyanna syndrome?

I agree that too much positivity is harmful. There should be a nice balance of positive and negative. But have you looked at our world lately? The negativity is rife. The world could stand more positivity, self-love - and self-love does not mean arrogance. People love to get that confused. As stated above, arrogance is a completely different thing to confidence. Why do we have this need to keep people in the spot just below us, in order to feel good and secure within ourselves? It's quite awful when you think about it.

I think that when many of the female members of the public see a woman who is secure with herself, it reminds them that they are not secure with themselves, and the object that caused them to feel that internal discord will be disliked for that alone. I have found that when you have someone who is secure in themselves, they are a lot less likely to feel that tug when they see another person who is secure within themselves, because there is not that reminder of what is missing within themselves. Hope that makes sense lol. But that is just talking about the confidence aspect. Arrogance is a whole different kettle of fish, and will rub people the wrong way no matter how secure they are within themselves.

Not that I am the most beautiful woman on the planet, but I think I am pretty. I don't do too bad when it comes to attracting admirers either. I am confident in my looks. I might not be everyone's cup of tea, which not everyone is, but I know my worth as far as aesthetic, and personality. I am open about that, and it is far from arrogant. It is healthy confidence, which I think everyone should get to experience. But whilst we are tearing one another down, and trampling on one another for that internal boost - which will always be temporary until we take a closer look at ourselves - we can never achieve that, I don't think.

Just the very fact that people feel they must tear other people down - when they exhibit mere confidence, and not arrogance - is an indicator as to what people think and feel about themselves. Everything is a reflection.

Well TBF I think there is a diffrence between being confident and being arrogant.

I think confidence is a good thing but arrogance is a bad thing.

Exactly.

Of course it is. But where is the line? Its different for everyone. What i see as confidence others may see arrogance and vice versa.

Don't know what that means One man's confidence is anothers arrogance and vice versa. I wouldn't get too bent out of shape about it. As long as you are comfortable in your own skin..well that's all that matters.

Oh, I just meant that everything is a reflection in the sense that how you feel about any one thing isn't typically about that thing. It's about you, and what is going on inside.

The fact that so many people perceive confide to be arrogance, especially where women are concerned, is a problem I feel needs to be talked about. Few are comfortable in their own skin, as evidenced by this behavior. If a guy says he's handsome and a ladies man, he is praised. If a woman states that she is attractive, there is hell to pay, especially if she really is.

Precisely

I didn't like Jade saying she has a good soul as much.

I see that as saying your a good person and IMO only others can say that about someone.

Really? That's an interesting way to look at it, and I can see where you are coming from. But I disagree. Only you know your true intentions, if you care to look at yourself that closely. You can do anything in life, and have the most noble intentions, and it will and can be perceived as malicious by others, according to how they are perceiving the situation.

Also, with the whole where does confidence end and arrogance begin thing - I think it is very subjective. According to where a person is, they will perceive it as either arrogance or confidence. But then there are times when arrogance is clear, and everyone, no matter what head space they are in, is able to see it.

I don't think we can disagree that men are much more able to tip those scales from confidence to arrogance than women are allowed to though. Arrogance is often fine in men, but mere confidence is women is often misconstrued to be arrogance when it is mere healthy confidence, because society often doesn't know what to do with a woman who knows her worth.

I see it from the point of "Nice Guy Syndrome"

When as guy says that the reason he can't get a GF is he's a "Nice Guy" and women only go for bad boys or money.

When in reality he can't get a GF because he's a nasty piece of work.

I'm sure there is a "Good Girl" equivalent to.

I'm sure people like last years HM's saw themselves as nice/good people when they were anything but that

That's a good point. But that wasn't the energy that I was getting from Jade, you know? So far she has seemed pretty laidback and ok.