It wasn't even delivered funny.

A Weird Al Yankovic song has plenty of hilarious lines:

Once, not very long ago, I was respected, I was popular (popular, ooh)
But now I hang my head in shame (ahh, ooh)
My life is filled with such regret
A bad mistake I can't forget
And now I'll never be the same

Ringtone
Why did I buy this stupid ringtone?
I just can't imagine now what I was thinking at all (What was I thinking?)
My friends all stare at me whenever I get a call
Well, everybody (everybody)
Everybody (everybody)
Everybody in the world really hates my ringtone

When my phone goes off at work
I look like the biggest jerk
Total strangers wanna slap me around
When it's ringin' on the terrace
My neighbors get embarrassed
They're beggin' me to move outta town
Well, it made my wife so sick
She smashed my iPhone with a brick
But I had it fixed, and now it's just fine
It's a pain, I sure don't need it
And I probably should delete it
But for me that would be crossin' the line
'Cause I hate to waste a buck ninety nine
Hey, I paid good money for this...

Ringtone
Why did I buy this stupid ringtone?
I just can't imagine now what I was thinking at all (Really, what was I thinking?)
My friends all stare at me whenever I get a call
Well, everybody (everybody)
Everybody (everybody)
Everybody in the world really hates my ringtone

Ringtone
Ringtone
Ahh, ooh

Chinese factory workers (they hate my ringtone)
Muslim women in burqas (really hate my ringtone)
Starvin' kids in Angola (they hate my ringtone)
Even folks with Ebola (just hate my ringtone)
All the nuns and nannies (all the welfare mothers)
All the Pakistanis (all the Wayans brothers)
Everyone on the land, everyone on the sea
Every single person everywhere unanimously
Everybody (everybody)
Everybody (everybody)
Everybody in the whole wide world really hates my
Ringtone... ringtone... ringtone... ringtone... ringtone... ringtone...

As does a Harry Hill song:

Mum I'm just going in the garden
Look out for dog muck
It's alright, I'll be on me trampoline


My name is Chantelle
And i am fourteen
I got an iPod and a trampoline
Easy to find me
Know what I mean?
If I ain't on FaceBook
I'm on me trampoline
I got a Pitbull
And I like texting
And pretty soon
I'll do the sex thing...


Chorus:
I wanna baby
I wanna baby
I wanna baby of my own
I wanna baby
I wanna baby
A baby and a mobile phone


I like Jordan, Kerry Katona
See ya later, I said I'll phone ya
Love me boyfriend, like no other
He had his name down, for Big Brother
I wanna boob job, and when I'm fifteen
I'll take my boob job, on me trampoline...


Chorus:
I wanna baby
I wanna baby
I wanna baby of my own
I wanna baby
I wanna baby
A baby and a mobile phone


I got ambition, don't want the Dole
No, I want a snog with Ashley Cole
Or Frank Lampard, or John Terry
Or just anyone who's on the telly
I got a pitbull and a parrot
I got a fish tank, I don't like carrots...


Chorus:
I wanna baby
I wanna baby
I wanna baby of my own
I wanna baby
I wanna baby
A baby and a mobile phone


I watch Jamie (aww)
And I watch Gok Wan
I wanted Flat Screen, so I got one
If you saw me, It's quite apparent
That I'm the fat one, off Britain's Got Talent
I got a big bag of Haribo
Me brother, he got an ASBO
Me mum has, got a fag on
Me dad has, got a tag on
Had a holiday in Corfu
Dad couldn't make it
'Cos of his curfew...


Chorus:
I wanna baby
I wanna baby
I wanna baby of my own
I wanna baby
I wanna baby
A baby and a mobile phone


She's not called Jordan anymore she's called Katie Price

You looking at my Pitbull?
[No]
You looking at my Flat Screen?
[No]
Is something wrong with you or what?

Chantelle, take your dog out, would ya?
But I did it last month

Ohh whats that awful noise? ohh turn it off
It's a baby!

I don't like that I've changed my mind
I think I might go to University instead

I wanted a baby but I don't want one now

I wanted a baby but I changed me mind

Mum, how do you stop it crying?

I'm Anne Widdecombe, and I'd like a baby...

As for the Crumble Song, I can't think of one funny line so I'd love to know what other people personally consider to be funny about her song.

..but I don't find any of those quoted lines even faintly amusing (let alone hilarious) in black and white. I could see how they could be made that way with the right performace..but whether you'd find it amusing is down to your individual tastes (some found the combination of the song and delivery amusing..some didn't..it's the same with all comedy)

I found Lorraine amusing based on the catchy song and how she performed it....on the flipside I've seen some of her other songs (which are less catchy) and they didn't amuse. I've also seen Weird Al performances/song that I found amusing..and others that were cringeworthingly bad IMO.

Most comedy songs aren't funny on paper..it's down to whether the performance appeals to you in regards to if you find it funny or not.

There are plenty of great comedy performances of completely serious songs where they have not changed one single lyric. A song doesn't have to be funny on paper to be funny when performed.

The Crumble Song isn't funny on paper or performed. My point is there's literally no line in it to be anything like funny.

My point is..that's a pointless point because many of the best comedy songs are funny based purely on performance.


The Crumble song isn't funny on paper..but it was funny/amusing when performed (for many people). You just didn't happen to find it funny....but that doesn't mean it isn't funny to others.

This all day long.

I think people who liked it only did so because Lorraine portrayed herself as an off-the-wall eccentric. Could you imagine if The Kingdom Tenors had each bought on an ironing board with a Casio organ stuck to it and started warbling about crumble

And if she is, as she claims, a piano teacher, why did she not just come on a put an original spin on that skill like the blindfolded boy did??

Funny you should say that as I made a John Shuttleworth comparison earlier.

It might of made the kingdom tenors more interesting than the bore fest that they was

She reminds me of the actress who played Olive from On The Buses and Aunt Sal, Peggy Mitchell's sister in Eastenders.

Oh..that means i get the red button

You keep missing the point that comedy is subjective. It's the great divider. Either you get it or you don't. Some people did and you didn't and no amount of analysis of the lines or her performance is going to change that.

I should imagine if they had BGT back in the day and Monty Python or Peter and Dudley went on to do a 2 minute sketch plenty of people would complain it wasn't funny. It would've been the same if David and Matt did a Little Britain sketch.

I find Flight of the Conchords songs like Business Time and Issues (Think about it) hilarious, far better than Weird Al, but for others they don't even raise a chuckle and probably would have got 3 red buzzers from the judges.

It's the nature of the beast. There are many that can't stand the most popular comedians of today like Michael McIntyre and Peter Kay.

It wouldn't be right if we all found the same thing funny although at least then I would be able to understand how both Russell and Jo Brand have been able to make a career out of comedy.

I didn't think she was great but I did laugh and I'm glad David used his buzzer for the reason it should be: an act he enjoyed that probably wouldn't go through because other judges didn't.

If the judges are simply going to use it to put through an act that would get "4 big Yeses" anyway the golden buzzer is completely redundant.

Business Time is great "It's business, it's business time"
I also enjoyed the Hip-hopapotamus and Rhymenoceros song

Too right. That's my third favourite.
"They call me the Hiphopopotamus
My lyrics are bottomless...Ahem, mmm."

Love it.

The Monty Pythons wouldn't have got three buzzers because it's well acted and performed.

(Although David Walliams and Matt Lucas probably would have done.).

Completely agree it's nice to see some variety, she shouldn't have got the golden buzzer but I am so bored of the type of act you have mentioned which seem to make up the majority of the auditions.

Being well acted and performed doesn't mean everyone would find it funny.
That's exactly the kind of act that at least Simon, and probably others, would buzz.

I enjoyed it because it was refreshingly different to the endless dance troupes (none of which can match up to Diversity or Flawless) and bland pop singers (who belong on the 10 million other shows dedicated to bland pop singers). I'm relieved when anything other than a dance group or singer comes on.

I just caught up on last week's show and I absolutely LOVED Lorraine.

Graham Norton was talking about this woman during his radio interview with Alesha Dixon yesterday. He said that he was delighted she had got through as he's known her for over 30 years and she was a part of the pilot for his C4 chat show about 17 years ago. Her role was to play an intro for each guest, but sadly Channel 4's feedback was that they loved the show, but the woman with the ironing board had to go. I can't think why!