United Passions - Erotic drama set in Germany after the Wall comes down. "It's
"Goodbye Lenin" meets "The Dreamers!"

North - Bruce Willis stars in this bio of the controversial Iran-Contra colonel.

Batman & Robin- A little bird becomes the pet of a WWI Army Officer's servant

The Maggie. another biopic of margret thatcher. screenplay by arthur scargill ......

Saturday Night, Sunday Morning. It's end of British Summertime, and the clocks go back an hour reminder isn't broadcast.. With hilarious results in this classic british comedy. Jokes like, "what do you mean, this public convenience is closed?" and "is that a,sundial in your pocket, or are you just pleased to see me?" .........

My Brilliant Career. biopic of uk biologist sir tim hunt, who deeply regretted his scientific discoveries, but as compensation was awarded a nobel prize for sexist remarks ......

The Silence of the Lambs - A vet and a paranormal investigator team up to look into a cursed farms latest batch of mute newborn sheep.

Leon - The story of X-Factor series 4 winner Leon Jackson.

Raiders of the Lost Ark - Noah's Ark is found to be real and is plundered by opportunist adventurers.

Psycho - Biopic of Notts Forest & England left back Stuart Pearce.

Whiplash - A gang of crooks fake injuries in car crashes and exploit insurance companies.

Reservoir Dogs - Pixars latest offering follows a group of homeless who set up home at a man-made lake.

Metropolis - Following on from Smallville. Tom Welling stars in the big screen prequel to Superman.

Birdman (2014)

A small town mayor with notoriously sexist views is kidnapped by militant feminists who, in an effort to punish him for his sexism, perform partial sex-change surgery on him, giving him a pair of norks and a tidy little arse.

Instead of being horrified by his new body, he loves it and starts referring to himself as 'birdman', wears tight boob tubes and gropes himself in public, usually accompanied by a Sid James-style laugh.

Twins.

Following the exploits of an over-sexed man who is obsessed with bedding twin sisters.

My Brilliant Career - biopic of Eddie 'The Eagle' Edwards leading up to the notorious incident when he did the Cresta Run, careering down on his head.

Snakes on a Plane - odd western set in a woodworker's shop where the local rattlesnakes try to mate with the tools.

Inside Out - follow up to Human Centipede 3, doctor puts all internal organs externally.

What We Do In The Shadows - man needs to urinate.

Still Alice - Lewis Carroll's third book about Wonderland

Ant-Man - reality programme to find a replacement for David Attenborough

I am Big Bird - The Lola Ferrari Story

Jurassic World - Documentary on the latest Rolling Stones tour

The 100-Year-Old Man Who Climbed Out the Window and Disappeared - a damning indictment of Homes for the Elderly

Far From the Madding Crowd - Life of a Rochdale FC supporter

Last Tango in Paris
High School sex comedy following African-American foreign exchange student 'Last Tango' and his bed-hopping ambitions at a Paris High School.

The Blue Lagoon. tourists leave Fiji after some nitwit hangs a huge block of toilet freshner inside,the atoll .......

Krakatoa East Of Java. a map reading proficiency test goes horribly wrong for some boy scouts in Leeds ........

Winchester 73. that year, better music festival than glastonbury some say ......

The Big Top. biopic of dolly parton.

Dirty Dancing - a "Full Monty" inspired film about a load of miners down on their luck

The Artist - a documentary about the time when Prince wasn't called Prince

ET - a thriller about a footballer whose child has been kidnapped by an international criminal betting ring. If he doesn't score a set number of goals in extra time, they will kill his child.

The Queen - A horror film sequel to The Fly. The daughter of the original scientist continues his work, but is unaware a queen bee is in the chamber with her.

The Mummy - by day she is an upperclass mother, by night she is a crime fighter

Jumper - A British film about the friendship and rivalries in a knitting circle.

Guys and Dolls - An American teen comedy about what happens one Halloween when some frat boys break into the local toy store to steal some Bratz dolls for use in a prank and the store is struck by lightning. The dolls come to life and cause havoc in their life.

Taken - A horror film about a possessed camera which sucks the souls of people whose picture it takes.

Crash - a Pixar animation about a group of rhinos

A Man For All Seasons. Biopic of alan titchmarsh.

Pee Ping Tom . Cyclist with odd way of ringing his bell ..........

Sleepless In Seattle. microsoft is launching a new windows and boeing is launching a new aircraft and starbucks is launching a new coffee ........

The Queen. another b movie.

How Green Was My Valley. embarrassing medical problem bas a woman searching for the cure, meanwhile she buys twice the usual amount of lipstick .......

Ryan's Daughter - a gritty documentary following a Hollywood photographer on his journey to snap the first exclusive photos of Ryan Gosling's new baby. When Ryan issues a restraining order he decides to remake the film but with Ryan Reynolds and his new child as the focus.

This Is The End - a moving drama following a group of pensioners on a SAGA coach trip to DIGNITAS.

The Grudge - a comedy following the Daily Mail Online's top commenter and his anger at the new Romanian family next door. What lengths will he go to, to stop them claiming benefits and stealing his wife's job?

Reservoir Dogs - a thriller set in the Peak District. When dead naked bodies start turning up in various Derwent Reservoir car parks, a National Trust employee must infiltrate a dogging club to find out the truth.

Fiddler on the Roof

Semi-biographical horror about evil paedophile Jimmy Savile, and his night time exploits sneaking around Stoke Mandeville Hospital.

Last Tango in Paris - Little boy with red balloon in a desperate attempt to find a can of his favourite fizzy orange drink.

Rocky Horror Picture Show - Sylvester Stallone is given a photo of his mother.

Terminator: Genesis

Colin has a baby. 18 years later, the son takes over the company and begins making "efficiency savings". Colin is torn, as are the buttons on his shirt due to his middle-aged beer belly.

I can picture a fight scene in an oil distillery during which Todd Carty recreates his famous exit from the Dancing On Ice rink.