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Old 17-08-2015, 14:27
The_Bonobo
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Edge of Tomorrow: The guitarist in U2 travels back in time one day in order to destroy Bono's sunglasses once and for all.
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Old 17-08-2015, 18:37
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The Song of Bernadette - Concert film where Ms. Peters sings a Sondheim number.

The Bad News Bears Go to Japan
- Tokyo Zoo is about to get some rowdy new additions.

Atlas Shrugged - Clash of the Titans-ish fantasy about the Greek guy who
holds up the sky.
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Old 17-08-2015, 21:59
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Educating rita - Rita Ora finally has some singing lessons.
Seven seas to Calais - 32 migrants in a dinghy try and get into the UK.
The Hunger games - Professional catwalk model olympics.
Almost famous - Documentary about the losers who are voted out in week one of big brother/x-factor.
Butch Cassidy and the Sundance kid - A rather masculine woman befriends a youngster at a film festival.
Cinderella man - A stoner explains in detail what there favourite fairy tale is.
Your highness - Prince Harry goes on a weekend break to Amsterdam.
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Old 18-08-2015, 18:53
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The Boondock Saints- Two guys in Boston acquire haloes and stigmata.

The Great Ecstasy of Woodcarver Steiner - A European carpenter's product attracts the attention of both the EDM scene and the police....
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Old 19-08-2015, 01:48
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North by North West - A surreal and hilarious description of the Iran-Contra affair told through the eyes of infamous Oliver narrated by Kanye and Kim's daughter.

Mean Streets - A series of needy people try to get £1 from Mike Skinner but with no luck.

Primer - A man who has lost his copy of Back to the Future resorts to literally watching (undercoat) paint dry.

Moon - The heartwarming story of Ziggy as he reveals his bum in increasingly busy public spaces, until his inevitable arrest.
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Old 21-08-2015, 01:19
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Whistle Down The Wind. how can u disguise an endless farting problem? turns out there is a way .......
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Old 21-08-2015, 01:37
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Walkabout. in 1 month, queen lizzie 2 will have reigned for longer than queen vicky. Hence this timely documentary of her 1977 silver jubilee "walkabout" of london. most people are curious about her brief skinny dip in the serpentine, seen on footage now released for the first time ever ....
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Old 22-08-2015, 01:09
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My Beautiful Launderette: Dot Cotton biopic following the exploits of a OAP washing her (and others) dirty linen in public.

Rain Man: John Kettley is a weatherman....and so is Michael Fish

Romancing The Stone: Jerry Hall, Jo Wood & Mandy Smith join forces as wronged former lovers of members of a rock group out for revenge
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Old 22-08-2015, 01:57
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Four Lions - The Beatles play a group of dentists in this less well received installment of the Fab films.

Ken Park - Adventure story about a theme park based around the funniest dinosaur in the world... Ken Dodd. Don't f*ck with the Diddyraptors.

There Will Be Blood - Sequel to Under The Skin.
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Old 27-08-2015, 01:15
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Green For Danger. norman wisdom is an inept council workman, who installs all the fraffic lights upside down. 1st of his highly popular "death comedy" films .......
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Old 27-08-2015, 01:18
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Geordie. true story of 1st northerner ever to.travel south ot watford, and eventually represented tyneside at the uniited nations. there was some criticism of brad pitts accent ........
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Old 27-08-2015, 06:32
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The 5000 Fingers Of Dr T. sequel to Cassanova. "wot an orgy. never seen so many people in one bed before. but i knew you'd be a great lover, you have such large hands ........"
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Old 27-08-2015, 09:36
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The Full Monty - WW2 story of a field marshal who would overeat after battles.

Magnum Force - Superhero sequel - Thor loses his hammer and has to make-do with a small chocolate covered icecream lolly.

Children of the Corn - The Jolly Green Giant proves his jolly green cock works, well.

Curious George - The leader of the Respect Party discovers what kills 'the cat'.
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Old 27-08-2015, 14:57
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The Boys from Brazil

Chilling speculative SF set in 2075. An old spy network uncovers Operation Top Bloke - a terrifying plan to clone Nigel Farage.

The Last King of Scotland

Die Hard actioner. When a terrorist attack obliterates Glasgow's annual Elvis fanclub convention, it's up to lone survivor Hamish McMemphis to dish out the retribution, Presley-style (diamond suit, kung-fu moves, revolver etc). Hail to the King, baby.
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Old 27-08-2015, 15:59
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Moby Dick. Flipper has spent some years pumping iron and taking steroids, now he's HUGE .......
Moby Dick. Mockumentary showing a middle aged trance dj playing annoying pranks on unsuspecting members of the public.

Life of Pi(e) - Biopic of Rick Waller, former Pop Idol contestant.
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Old 02-09-2015, 18:38
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Heavy Metal 2000 - Motorhead and Black Sabbath team up to do a concert
movie for 1999 + one fans.

Scar - prequel to "The Lion King", centring on the bad guy.

The Horror of Party Beach
- despair hits the Spring Break seashore teens as they realise the spiritual emptiness of their hedonistic, consumerist lives.
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Old 03-09-2015, 04:04
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High Noon. Shop workers taking drugs during lunch break ........
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Old 03-09-2015, 04:07
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The Magnificent Seven. 1st mainstream hollywood movie about penis size,....... yul brynner has a polished shiny head ...... lee marvin is long and floppy .......
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Old 03-09-2015, 04:28
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Mars Attacks. yet another sequel to milky way nibbles, galaxy muncher, etc .....
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Old 03-09-2015, 05:07
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The Shining - How to polish your Coffee table.

Open Water - The opening of a bottle of Highlander Spring.

Iron Man - Man irons his clean shirt.

Childs Play - A play based on the life of Amy Childs.

The Fly - Convenient yet deadly, a story about a jean lover with a damaged johnson. (which could also be followed by The Dilemma - Guy struggles to choose between his favourite pair of jeans, or the future life of his traumatised penis)
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Old 04-09-2015, 03:09
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The Dish. biopic of delia smith.
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Old 04-09-2015, 03:35
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Yellow Submarine. On tracey island, gordon finally persuades tintin to "take a little test ride" in thunderbird 4. they make mad passionate love, a bit awkwardly in the rather cramped cabin, with fish watching through the windscreen, their mouths wide open in disbelief ......
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Old 04-09-2015, 03:51
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Top Gun - Film about someone who prints pictures of guns on t-shirts.

Flashdance - Guy flashes, and dances simultaneously.

We're The Millers - An inspirational film based on lives of Eastenders Darren. Mickey, Keith, Demi and Rosie.
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Old 04-09-2015, 11:57
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Green For Danger. norman wisdom is an inept council workman, who installs all the traffic lights upside down. 1st of his highly popular "death comedy" films .......


Cemetery Junction - Norman Wisdom "death comedy" that sees him ineptly install faulty traffic lights all over London, leading to every road converging in one place. Generally seen as a weak copy of Green For Danger.

Don't Look Now - Another installment of the "death comedies" of Norman Wisdom sees the inept council workman blind pedestrians with an experimental super-strong flashlight as they cross the road. This film is unique in the franchise for the addition of highly graphic sex scenes.

Psycho - The darkest and least subtle installment of the Norman Wisdom "death comedies" sees the inept council workman viciously attack every driver who stops at the traffic lights outside his mother's house. Often cited as the film that signaled the decline of the franchise.

Three Colors: Red - Norman Wisdom "death comedy" that sees him ineptly install only red lights on all London streets. This leads to the drivers slowly starving while stuck in gridlock. Notable for it's relative lack of action or dialogue and unusually long (17 hour) running time. This film was the first of Wisdom's collaborations with Andy Warhol.
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Old 06-09-2015, 00:42
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The Bank Job. a man walks.into.a bank and leaves a huge deposit. this film stinks.
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