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Old 22-09-2015, 04:34
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Flipper. A uk member of parliament owns 2 houses, on this expenses scandal.screwball comedy.
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Old 22-09-2015, 04:42
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Lassie Come Home. child star shirley temple.suddeny gets a weird "scottish" accent, and loses her way in the highlands, which look strangely like part of california .......
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Old 22-09-2015, 22:36
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Ted. seth macfarlane's insightful biopic of the 1970s tory party leader. I especially like the gjant cuddly arthur scargill covered in fur ...

Now that's a disturbing image.

Repossessed - Downbeat Errol Morris documentary about people who
couldn't pay their mortgages.

Casper: A Spirited Beginning - Prequel to The Nativity. Can Cas motivate
the two other mismatched Wise Men to follow That Star?
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Old 22-09-2015, 22:58
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Memento. Comedy (2000). A man is delighted to find his lost mint.

Trainspotting. Documentary (1996). Bernard recounts his sighting of the 17:40 from Manchester Piccadilly.

Groundhog Day. Drama (1993). Oh, you know, you watched it yesterday.

Ok, I'll do some actual work now.
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Old 23-09-2015, 01:11
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The Third Man. biopic of cain, 3rd man in the bible. Just don't ask where his wife came from ....... this was before the division into jews and gentiles, so.men could wear their willies any way they wanted ............
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Old 23-09-2015, 01:25
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The Damn Busters. compo wont stop cussing, so foggy and clegg put a swear box in sids cafe .......
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Old 23-09-2015, 22:31
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Seven Days In May - P*rn film about three beautiful friends - April, June and the eponymous heroine.
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Old 23-09-2015, 23:47
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Gambit. shirley maclaine bumps into cameron diaz, then gareth hunt turns up,........
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Old 24-09-2015, 00:00
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The Blue Peter. john noakes is press ganged, kidnapped, and has to share a boy scout training ship with anthony ("what a fool am I") newley. aaaarrrrgggghhhh ! to make things worse, he has to climb to the top of the mizzen mast 3 times per day, with seagulls trying to peck his eyes out, and only a decomposing dead fish as a weapon ...... he spends the entire voyage,wondering what he did to make biddy baxter so angry ........
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Old 24-09-2015, 00:48
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THE CRAFT
- film based on the TV channel Hochanda

127 HOURS
- follow-up to '48 Hrs' and 'Another 48 Hrs' (hey, if they can get away with 'Ocean's Thirteen' for real I can have this one)

EMPIRE RECORDS
- the stories of the tallest, fastest, heaviest and shortest people who lived in the days of the British Empire

MALLRATS
- exterminators are called in to deal with a rodent problem at a shopping centre

WEIRD SCIENCE
- film adaptation of Brainiac: Science Abuse

TEEN WOLF
- chronicles the schoolboy years of the Gladiators star

GLADIATOR
- the resulting follow-up to Teen Wolf

THE 40-YEAR-OLD VIRGIN
- what happens when someone decides to drink an ancient unopened bottle of cola they find at the back of the cupboard

AMERICAN BEAUTY
- documentary on the history of the Miss USA pageant

A BUGS LIFE
- a behind-the-scenes look at the making of Bugs Bunny cartoons

X-MEN
- the story of how Johnny Vaughan, Chris Moyles and Vernon Kay were brought together to revamp a radio station

THE BEACH
- Danny Boyle film documenting a Norfolk radio station's decision to withdraw from DAB (ooh, topical...)

BROKEN ARROW
- the story of the day Global's digital rock station suffered a technical fault

SILVER STREAK
- elderly women running across a sports pitch naked during a match

BLUE STREAK
- like Silver Streak, but on a cold day

SAW V
- the tale of someone who saw the miniseries 'V'

THE NAKED GUN
- Jamie Oliver has to hunt and shoot wild animals to cook

ALIEN VS PREDATOR
- an illegal immigrant squares off against Jimmy Savile
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Old 24-09-2015, 01:16
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Kill Bill - DCI Meadows, DC Carver, PC Stamp and Sergeant Cryer have contracts taken out on them.
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Old 24-09-2015, 01:16
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Orchestra Wives. a symphony orchestra comprising only married women used to be very difficult to keep going. But thanks to a recent change in the law, the women can now pair up and marry each other. problem solved.
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Old 24-09-2015, 02:12
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Leon the Pig Farmer - tale of how the late MP Leon Brittan reared porkers for use by future Prime Ministers.
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Old 24-09-2015, 04:08
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Another 48 Hours. "buddy movie"? heck, nick nolte and eddie murphy like each other so much that they have sex. then find they can't ...... er ...... bare to be seperate. they just have to stick together. so that's 4 days waiting to be "seen" in very busy hospital.casualty dept. not telling you wbo's into whom since that would be very racist ......
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Old 26-09-2015, 00:49
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Annie Get Your Gun. light musical comedy ? my arse ! annie's gun is obviously a giant phallic symbol, representing female domination. She conquers men, and keeps their shrunken balls in little matchboxes. see feminist film theory, anything by andrea dworkin, etc .....
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Old 29-09-2015, 03:05
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In Which We Serve. 3 physics students get their PHds. But the only jobs left in Britain are banking and burger flipping. so they get jobs in Burger Fling, and turn the ice cream machine into a nuclear centrifuge for separating uranium 235 and uranium 238. finally they are finished. "today, there will be extra FRIES ...... ."(toilets best avoided due to nuclear waste storage).
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Old 29-09-2015, 03:32
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The Ruling Klass. after The Revolution, in which all bankers and politicians and hairdressers are sent into coalmines (instead of being stood against a wall and,shot), Mylene Klass is declared "queen of peoples' pop", and moves into buckingham palace, along with a very grand piano ...........
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Old 29-09-2015, 03:42
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Thunderbirds Are Go. "have you noticed, recently, that pigeons have started farting? it makes a change from coo coo coo, but crikey, the smell .........".
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Old 29-09-2015, 19:15
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Private Eyes - flick about the satirical mag, starring Martin Freeman as Ian Hislop.

Andersonville - comedy about a town filled with obsessive "Thunderbirds" and
"Captain Scarlet" fans.
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Old 30-09-2015, 12:45
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Everest - Five men embark on fearless venture to install their own double-glazing, with tragic results.

Babe: Pig in the City
- Feisty piglet proves a master of the stock market and catches the eye of George Osbourne, who invites him for 'champers with Dave' at No. 10. Things then go awry.
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Old 01-10-2015, 17:36
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Annie Get Your Gun - Alison Brie's "Community" character joins the National
Rifle Association, with hilarious results!

Rude Boy - early 90s Home Alone rip-off about a disrespectful kid.
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Old 01-10-2015, 18:37
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The Lost Weekend - fanboys waste Friday night to Monday morning watching their favourite TV series.

The Emperor's New Groove - Palpatine is impressed with his woodworking skills using a chisel.

Chicken Run - It's Ernie the geek's turn once more to get the other workers some KFC

The Perfect Storm - someone other than Halle Berry.

Red Dragon - Consumed with guilt over his vast wealth, Smaug decides to redistribute his gold amongst the general populace, and then incinerate all the capitalists.
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Old 02-10-2015, 04:27
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The Long Good Friday. what robinson crusoe called his penis, after 2 years of living alone ......... every night he drew a different face on it ...... oh, what amazing conversations they had ........ "love you, mate" he'd say as they settled down together each night .......
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Old 02-10-2015, 04:45
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Up Periscope. sequel to above, further amazing adventures of robinson crusoe and his penis. "y'know mate" he finally said to it one day "I'm happy. I don't think I want to be rescued" and it nodded in agreement ........
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Old 02-10-2015, 12:34
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Robinson Crusoe On Mars. our well endowed hero gets bumped on the head, by his "man friday", and sudddenly finds himself driving around essex in a ford anglia with an extra blue lamp on the roof. no pubenda directly shown but there is a huge bulge at front of bis jeans tbat might be Tbe Sun with pic of sam fox on page 3 .......
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