The Year of Living Dangerously - Morgan Spurlock follows "Supersize Me" by spending 12 months living on cigarettes, whiskey and deep-fried Mars bars.

Suicide Squad - "Girl, Interrupted"-ish drama about people in a mental hospital being helped after trying to do themselves in.

The Moon Is Blue - chaos follows after a rocket full of azure paint crashes on Earth's neighbour.

Shallow Hal computer controlling spaceship discovery in 2001 falls in love with the ae35 (antenna control unit) but dave bowman says ''that's just a slap and tickle, not real data exchange. how about exchanging terrabytes of data with pod2 ? I wont tell anyone ........''

Guys and Dolls - frank documentary about sad perverts and their sex aids.

Mary Poppins - sad tale of a mother with inverted nipples.

It Could Happen To you, a reasonably happy bicycle repairman wakes up, one fine morning, and finds he's accidentally been made leader of the labour party ...... and he is trapped in a nightmare with no hope of escape ....... disturbing surreal thriller with hitchcockian themes........

The Rev'n'Ant - following the death of popular Geordie TV presenter Dec, his forlorn ex-partner develops an unlikely relationship with the local vicar.

Dodgeball. famous Viz character, buster gonad, finds an ingenious way of competing in strictly come dancing. But his partner gets a few bruises ......

The Tommyknockers. inspired by buster, babs windsor also appears on Strictly, and strikes some huge blows for female equality .....,.

Days of Thunder - political horror film detailing the after effects of Eric Pickles - eating a jar of pickles.

Cocktail - Cecil Parkinson biopic.

Are You Being Served. holiday cruise ship runs aground on a desert island, where veg are already cooking in huge cauldren. The chief says to shipwrecked passengers ''you're arrived just in time for dinner ........''

Bride's Head Revisited. king henry 8th ''has a dig" at one of his previous wives, then spends an afternoon with her ....... She doesn't say much, but is green with envy ........

My Life As A Dog - The Katie Price Story

A Serbian Film - travelogue of Belgrade.

The Wicked Lady - biopic of Myra Hindley.

Derek and Clive Get the Horn- the potty-mouthed duo find a valuble gold bugle.

Emperor of the North Pole - Futile attempt by Darth Sidious at finding Superman's Fortress of Solitude.

Mew Tinny On The Buses. lots of strange sqeaking noises, does something need oiling ? No, it's a lovely little cute kitten, climbed into the ''discarded tickets'' bin, on a cold night, for warmth. It gets adopted as bus depot official mascot.

The Fly. superman circles over planet earth a few times. for no particular reason, just feeling a bit bored .......

Citizen Cane. prequel to The Wicker Man. lord summerisle builds up his d.i.y. skills slowly. starting with a couple of basket chairs. then a windbreak. then a new thatched roof on his gardener's cottage. before placing a huge order at wickes for his big project ........

The Fly 2. superman, still bored, orbits the earth again. this time he forgets his cloak, and returns shivering ........

Rising Damp. prequel to Waterworld. landlord rigsby thinks it might rain a bit, later on, probably towards teatime. "never mind, miss jones, it's nice and dry in MY room, if you want to come in .........''

String And Poor Twine. some advice, my friends. do not falsely economise by buying cheap garden equipment. for thou shalt end up with runner beans from hell. and have to bribe some triffids to come round and fight them ......

Care bears: the movie.

A bunch of big hairy gay guys document themselves as the start a good Samaritan style organization....

The force awakens.

A cocky young mam brags as he gets an erection....

I Never Promised You A Rose, Garden. a man reminds his garden, that he never said he would put a rose in it. Daffs yes, but no roses .......

The Time Machine - historical drama about the building of Big Ben.

Mars Needs Moms - The chocolate company needs women to look after some adorable orphans!

2 Fast 2 Furious. current medical advice is, longer and slower is best for your prostate .....,,,

The War of the Roses - Michael Douglas is Richard III and Kathleen Turner (in drag)
is Henry VII.

Throw "Momma" From The Train - drama about a newspaper editor trying to cancel
the crappy Mell Lazarus comic strip.

Burn After Reading- comedy that follows the disgusted reaction of an English Professor stranded in the Rocky Mountains and forced to consume nothing by Jeffrey Archer and E. L. James novels.