Mystic River. yet another documentary about saint river phoenix. This one concentrates on his most spiritual phase, when he could do no wrong, and regularly walked on water .......

Spice World: The Movie - Remake of "Dune".

Little Man - biopic of Warwick Davis.

Flight of the Phoenix - sequel where he learns to fly.

Followed by "Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix", where the boy wizard must
deal with a cult of River disciples.

Henry V - giant invading alien spaceships hover over major cities, but they get hoovered up by a little vacuum cleaner with a face on it.

The Phoenix and The Carpet . river teams up with sabu, and annoyingly keeps stealing his turban ......

Song for Marion - Robin Hood turns to music after his swashbuckling fails to impress the
Maid.

Breakfast on Pluto - Sci-fi Comedy about a restaurant at the edge of the solar system.

My Dinner with Andre - meal spoiled by companion singing "insania" and complaining about woman with large breasts

My Dinner with Andre - meal spoiled by getting all the right courses not necessarily in the right order

Kangeroo Jack. marsupial porn.

My Dinner With Andre. tony hancock intends to enjoy his romantic dinner date with andre melly, but discovers too late that their table reservation is at sid james' ''stuff-yer-gob for five bob'' nosherama .........

Actually, that would make an interesting programme

The Sting:

A young boy turns into a honey seeking manic after being stung by a bee

Toy Story:
(documentary)
The history of the successful chain Ann Summers

Frozen:
(drama)
Is the country of Iceland finally living up to it's name and becoming 'Frozen' in ice?

The Damned United:
(fantasy drama)
When demons turn up from hell, it appears as if there is only one way to defeat them. A game of football (soccer as it would say in USA). It then falls to a team of unlikely misfits (led by real life footballer-turned-actor Vinnie Jones) to defeat them (features the line: Now you lot, can go to f*****g hell!)

X-Men:
(documentary)
A true-life story following the lives of men who become women

Definitely, Maybe:
(documentary/drama)
Definitely a story about the making of the first Oasis album, maybe

The Full Monty:
(British drama)
When his favourite cafe is forced to close, Bill has to go on the lookout and find somewhere else for his "perfect fry-up"

Pan's Labyrinth - worker gets lost trying to his way out of a huge Tefal factory.

Green for Danger - cautionary tale about the perils of eating mouldy cheese from the fridge

The Crimson Pirate. fine with looting and pillaging and swashbucking (whatever that is) but goes bright red whenever he hears a swear word ........

Passenger 57 - drama on a plane, will the passengers escape suffocation after one of them has eaten fart too many beans?

Hello Dolly. a man - after inflating his plastic sex doll with a foot pump - feels rather tired, and decides to just talk to her instead. "you're the quitest woman i ever came across, ain't you got opinions on ANYTHING ? .......''

The Lady In The Van ... "........One quickly becomes so bored of launching ships, and pumping hands at endless social occasions (big hygiene tip: always wear gloves), so it's nice to have got a part time job as a delivery courier. The money isn't important, but One does get away from The Palace, and meets Ones' subjects (One refrains from calling them "commoners"), and hears their colourful opinions, how very interesting ........"

Girl On A Motorcycle " ....... One also delivers on a motorcycle, important medical items, it's huge fun roaring up the bus lanes ..... nobody recognises One when wearing a motorcycle mask ....... the few traffic policemen who sometimes signal One to pull over and stop do get a big surprise when One removes the mask ......"

Convoy. "...... Philip could see how much One was enjoying Oneself, and now he's become a part time "trucker" - whatever that is - One imagines it's some sort of pretext to freely use colourful language ..........sometimes, he doesn't have time to change into a formal suit, when he's shown on the telly, lookout for tell-tale blue overalls peeking out from underneath his shirt .........."

Pig Hunt - self explan a tory.

We Dive At Dawn. 1950s britfilm ''comedy'' (ie, contains no jokes). dawn is an attractive young lady - sorta mixture of diana dors and liz fraser - and young men cant help swooning and tripping over themselves - think kenneth connor saying ''coooorr'' - whenever she is nearby ......

Dying Young - comedy about attempts to colour the hair of the actress from "Blade Runner".

Caged Fury - "Avengers" spin-off revolving around Samuel L. Jackson's character attempting to escape from prison.