Psi Co ........ a group of telepathic precogs decide to set up a company, using their unusual abilities to make some money ........ if only they could forsee what will happen ......

The Breakfast Club ......... man has a very large (''full british'') sandwich from greggs the pastie shop .......

Twister (20 years old yesterday) - two contortionists get sucked off by whirlwinds while trying to play a game on a large multicoloured plastic mat that is spread on the floor.

The Gay Dog ...... scooby doo has a mid-life identity crisis .......

The Happy Hooker ......... biopic of izzak walton.

Brannigan - epic tale of one man's quest to build a factory to make crisps.

Esther and the King - story of the fateful day Elvis Presley appeared on a long running Sunday night consumer affairs programme.

(e)X-Men - Alexis Arquette, Laverne Cox and Caitlyn Jenner star as members of a superhero team of transgender mutants fighting cisgender prejudice and an evil Canadian born senator and presidential candidate (played by Mel Gibson) to defend their right to use the little girls room. Directed by the Wachowski sisters.

Good 'Un.


Hilary and Jackie - Mrs. Clinton gets help from the ghost of another famous First Lady.

Just Ask For Diamond - Drama about the making of "Good Morning with Anne and Nick".

Net Work ....... new e.u. fishing rules specify larger meshes on trawler nets, to catch only big fish, and leave smaller ones in the sea. Sailors in many countries up and working all night with scissors .......

Tom's Brown Schooldays ........ not enough wc's at his skool ....... that's why he also needed a secret midnight garden later on .........

Black Sheep ........ some farm animals spend years fighting to end racial discrimination, and finally end up as filling in top of the range waitrose pies .......

Georgie Girl ........ after the famous five disband, georgina kirrin becomes the 1st female 00 agent working for british intelligence. "you're not bedding ME'' she tells james bond. 5 mins later, there she is in bed with him ........ "that was a very big bang''says james ......''well, you have a very large gun'' replies george .......

Reach For The Sky ...... thieves break into a branch of currys, but can't decide what to steal ........

The Good Buy Girl ....... biopic of mary portas .......

The Small Back Room ....... drama about an osteopath who works in a tiny high street shop .........

Richard The Third ....... shakespeare's best film script ! contains lines like: ''is that the road sign for a humpback bridge?'' and ''i just got this car serviced but now there's a funny rattling sound'', and most famously: ''i'm feeling a bit tired, so will pull into this car park and have a short little nap on the back seat ....." .....

T' Why Light ? ...... a yorkshire vampire works only nightshifts, and wonders why such nasty things as daylight and bright sunshine exist at all .........

Silent night, deadly night....

Sleezy b-movie horror about a killer fart.....

The Long Goodbye - Mrs. Green is about to leave, when she starts rabbiting on about
this lovely painting...

The Year My Voice Broke ....... teenage lad has really weird time before finally working out that his voice doesn't ''need repairing'' .........

The Day The Earth Stood Still ........ james bond gets his 100,000th woman into bed. and ........ nothing happens ! "so how was it for you, miss moneypenny?''. "how was what, james?'' .......

SWAT - alien invasion film. Millions of huge bluebottles arrive from the far reaches of the galaxy. It is up to mankind to devise a cunning weapon to use against them.

Up In The World ....... plucky little norman wisdom needs a ladder to reach the top of a huge errection .......

Funny Girl ........ biopic of victoria wood.