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Alternative film plots based on the title


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Old 01-07-2016, 01:59
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The Greatest Story Ever Told. In this remake, daniel day lewis plays jesus. and judas. and pontious pilate. and 12 disciples. and the 5000 people fed by 5 loaves and 2 fishes. and herod. and pilate. and the entire roman army. as long as he sticks to people, and doesn't try to become oceans or landscapes .......
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Old 05-07-2016, 00:06
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Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind ........ just one week after voting brexit, and already everyone has forgotten who david cameron was .........
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Old 05-07-2016, 23:17
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The Longest Day ........ this is a film about d day, so why the heck doesn't it star d day lewis ? maybe he's gone back to being the atlantic ocean, or the axis army, or france .......
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Old 10-07-2016, 00:20
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Black Hawk Down ........ a fibre technologist invents a brand new type of duvet filling.
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Old 11-07-2016, 03:02
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How To Train Your Dragon .......... don't let it block the platform, make sure it has a valid ticket, don't let it eat any children, and strictly no smoking in the toilet ........
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Old 11-07-2016, 04:35
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How To Train Your Dragon, 2. put dragon 32 computer into a small suitcase. put suitcase onto overhead train luggage rack. job done. next stop, llanfairpwll ..........
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Old 12-07-2016, 01:12
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All That Heaven Allows ....... since almost everything that human beings do is sinful, this remake comprises a man tied to a chair, eating Quorn ready meals from Tesco .........
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Old 12-07-2016, 01:32
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All dogs go to heaven.....

The story of 72 virgins.
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Old 12-07-2016, 03:52
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Raw Instinct ....... Richard Branson is just one bearded virgin ......,
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Old 14-07-2016, 23:34
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Mary Poppins ..........they keep falling out, so she has to keep popping them back in ........
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Old 14-07-2016, 23:50
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Mary Poppins ..........they keep falling out, so she has to keep popping them back in ........
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Old 15-07-2016, 23:07
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The Belles Of St Trinians .......theresa may in schoolgirl uniform and pigtails, boris johnson in a nice dress with expensive earrings, and i.d.s. lurking about in the grounds ....... yes, our brexit team promise huge fun in a long series of adventures ......
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Old 17-07-2016, 02:22
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The Great Escape ....... england leaves the EU, and closes its borders. So refugees in calais start digging a 2nd channel tunnel ...... meanwhile, to escape teresa may,boris pedals his bike all the way to scotland, tries to jump over hadrian's wall, and gets stuck halfway across ........
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Old 18-07-2016, 03:11
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Attack The Block ........... it's zombie apocalypse time, as a huge queue of perspiring people slowly stumble towards the ice cream van for their vanilla wafers and choc ices ..........
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Old 18-07-2016, 03:30
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Resident Evil .......... after retirement, Dr Evil wants to move into a modest small flat, but encounters objections from the local residents' committee to mini- me, because although storing weapons of mass destruction in your garage is fine, pets are not allowed ..........
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Old 20-07-2016, 00:30
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Psycho ....... " it's so hot ........ just let me have a shower to cool down, before you murder me ............''
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Old 20-07-2016, 14:56
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Dr Zhivago.

The doctor employs two meerkats to run an ad campaign after his surgery repeatedly gets phone calls for a popular travel website.
"It's Zhivago. Not, Trivago."
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Old 21-07-2016, 23:45
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Kid Napped ........ after staying up far too late, next day a tired young mite falls asleep during maths lesson ...........
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Old 22-07-2016, 00:00
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The 4 hoarse men of the apocalypse ......... "after we'd been shouting 'flee the zombies' for about 6 hours, our voices went, and it was just a croaking sound ........ "
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Old 22-07-2016, 00:01
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High rise...

Disaster ensues when someone accidentally bakes pot brownies with self-rasing flour....
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Old 22-07-2016, 01:54
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Trigger Claws 70 ........... when the original ''trigger claws'' horror film was made, nobody guessed it would lead to such a hugely successful franchise ........
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Old 22-07-2016, 02:20
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The Tit Field Thunderbolt ........ what happens to nudists when it rains ? you never see them carrying umberellas ! soaking wet nudists in a thunderstorm are ''totally unprotected '' ........... one huge flash, and they're gone .......
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Old 23-07-2016, 00:19
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They Dyed With Their Boots On ........... because, going down the pub after work, with your feet a different colour each night, is kinda weird ...........
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Old 23-07-2016, 04:07
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Start Wreck Beyond .......... "I'm not having you start that thing right outside my house, so just take it down the end of the street .........''
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Old 24-07-2016, 23:30
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2001 A Space Odyssey ....... "so tonight, jerry, you be the revolving space station with a slot in it, and i'll be the shuttle craft from earth that flies into the slot ........'' ''....... we have to do it that way round anyway, rupert, because a slot's all i've got ..........''
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