Adolf Hitler, My Part In His Downfall ......... spike milligan liked listening to songs by classical composer schubert (especially when depressed and unable to work) and started writing a film script, provisionally called ''the supreme german lieder''. By the time he said ''hang on, that's not quite what i meant ......'', lots of money had already been spent on casting actors, and army uniforms, and a tie-in book deal .......

The Bank Job ......... young school leaver gets a job in a bank .............

The big job.....

Sid james makes the mistake of eating a lot of 'just out-of-date' meat.....

Also known as 'carry-on wiping'...

The Glen Miller Story ........... "'sorry folks no concert tonight .......... got my penis trapped in my trombone slide again'' ,,,,,,,

Star Trek The Search For Spock ......... "sorry, jim, but i was in the toilet. we vulcans only do that once every every 2 years, but when we gotta go, then we really gotta go ........

Living Free ........ elsa the lioness moves to london and can't get a job ( not being australian), so lives on benefits .....,.,,

The Glass Mountain .......... michael dennison and dulcie grey take their empties to the local council's bottle bank recycling facility .......

The Blue Light ........ nazi mystical film maker leni riefenstahl climbs up an alp - alpenstock in one hand and toblerone in the other - hoping for an epiphany at the top. but instead she finds british policeman george dixon, standing on some steppes. "evening all, hope you nazis aren't going to do anything silly, like starting a war ,........ "

The Ghost Train - MP with massive mandate fails to get a seat on the train because it is ram packed with invisible people.

Star trek. Wrath of khan.

On a reality tv show. Several celebrity's go hill walking. Three days in, boxer amir khan has a nervous brake down.

Carry On, Don't Lose Your Head ......... after 2 hours, an 80+ years old man feels like giving up on trying to achieve orgasm, but carries on because his wife seems to be enjoying it .......... (possibly, rupert and jerry ......) ..........

The Ghost Rain .......... ''hey, what's all this smelly sticky wet stuff raining down on us?'' ...... ''oh, that's just ectoplasm, the local spook is taking a piss ...... let's go next door, and the cat will lick it all off ....... but watch out for the fur ball .......

The Big Freeze .........''we r sorry to have to announce the death of captain birdseye, his final request was that u send no flowers, but memorial packets of fish fingers will be very warmly received .......

The Bulldog Breed .......... this documentary film, exploring both the idea of winston churchill as ''british bulldog'', and the success of viz comic with ''the dog's bollox'' ...... was a bit of a turd ........

The Four Bin Project .......... households across the uk are very confused, when they all get an extra bin. To recycle .......... what ?

Milk ........ the story of how margret thatcher ended free school milk ...........

Tomboy ............ the hero of tom's midnight garden is shown to be a girl ! Never before have knobbly knees looked so shapely in short trousers ...........

Fire Down Below ......... " ........oh oh oh rupert, love of my life, please extinguish my hot flames with your huge hosepipe .......'' ....... " ..........sorry jerry, business calls, so no can do right now, you'll just have to evacuate the area .......'' .........

The Kid With A Bike ......... a young goat thrills the crowds, with its unusual and spectacular circus act .........

The Boy With Green Hair .......... the darn fool ate too many brussels sprouts, and needed an emergency brexit on the n.h.s. .........

The Craft ........ a ufo lands in robin's back garden ..........

The Year My Voice Broke ........ the story of how young margret thatcher stopped wearing short trousers, and started wearing long trousers. No one would ever know she had hairy legs .......

You like this thread dont you.

i'm not stopping anyone else posting, who wants to .......

The Shining ........ early edit version of the king and i, where the entire cast were always constantly blinking, due to dazzling reflections from yul brynner's head ..........