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Alternative film plots based on the title


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Old 11-12-2016, 01:09
spiney2
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Jane Bond .......... "so, ms bond, i see the sex change was very successful. But, where do you now keep your weapon?''
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Old 11-12-2016, 01:22
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Mr Turner .......... "right, so, have you come for a proper painting lesson, or just to see my amazing buttocks ? yep, i thought so. u know what, i think i'm going to give up painting and invent nude photography instead ................ "
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Old 18-12-2016, 01:40
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The Dark Night ........ "i can't find my batmobile, because it's black, and the time is 1 am, there's no street lights in this desert ....... "
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Old 18-12-2016, 08:07
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Bad Santa ......... "christmas stinks. every dec 26, the reindeer costumes, and my costume, and my famous ''sac'', all go back into the store room for another year, and none of this stuff ever gets washed .......''
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Old 18-12-2016, 08:20
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Bad Santa 2 ....... ''do they have deoderant in toyland ? no! and the old flying unicorns inside the reindeer costumes think that crapping on the floor is ''method acting'' ......... it all just stinks ......... "
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Old 22-12-2016, 17:28
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Mr Turner ......... biopic of ted turner, omniphilanthropist, inventor of 24hr tv news, and the man who tamed jane fonda ....... ''down, girl, down .....'' ''...... growl, pant pant pant, WooF !'' ........
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Old 23-12-2016, 02:34
Chelseafan101
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Midnight Express - 1955 British Transport Films documentary about the various sleeper/mail/parcel/newspaper/perishables/fast goods traffic that operates at night.
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Old 24-12-2016, 00:59
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Summer Holiday ........... after a very confusing 2 weeks' sunbathing, on the beach, a young man finally realises he is gay, and suddenly it all makes sense .......... (sir cliff's lawyers can contact me via a private message) .......
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Old 25-12-2016, 01:40
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Captain Ron ....... the founder of scientology, ron hubbard, is having a great time on the sea org yacht, until, due to a staff recruiting error, a real sailor joins the crew. "I notice, young lady'' says the great one ''that you have an unusually small bust and an unexpectedly deep voice ...... but dammit, you tie great knots, and that's an essential nautical skill lacking in all the other young ladies so far recruited, despite their fine bosoms ......
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Old 25-12-2016, 01:52
Fairyprincess0
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Nightmare before christmas.

A week in the life of a xmas shopper as they rush to get everything done before the 'big day'.

Muppets christmas Carol

Three inept cockney geezers fail to even pull of a simple door-to-door scam.

Its a wonderful life.

The true life story of some rich bastard.
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Old 25-12-2016, 22:54
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ScrewJ .......... a man starts assembling his just delivered ikea bookcase, and then discovers that 1 vital piece is missing ........
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Old 25-12-2016, 23:00
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A Christmas Carol .......... vorderman gets a bit tipsy, after going to too many christmas parties ......
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Old 29-12-2016, 12:37
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The Santa Claws ......... old style cellulose acetate ''film''(whatever that is!), plus santa never cutting his fingernails, are why this movie is so very scratched ........
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Old 02-01-2017, 02:00
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The Queen .......... "a heavy, cold'' film.
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Old 02-01-2017, 10:08
Gusto Brunt
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Star Wars -

Two gay reality stars fight over one boyfriend, a rival in another reality show.
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