Ways of How to Kill Aaron No.1 - 100 26-50

Part 26) - Aaron is in the prison chapel when the prison chaplain goes bonkers and kills Aaron with a Chair leg to the heart having mistaken Aaron for a vampire.

Part 27) - Aaron is prison is killed during a riot, he was too busy sobbing in the corner to notice the riot and he died when the prisoners set fire to his cell.

Part 28)) - Aaron is prison cries so much that he electrocutes himself when he plugs his radio in

Part 29) - Aaron falls down the prisons steps and bounces at the bottom, he gets up then slips on a banana and fals down another set of stairs

Part .30) - Diane goes to Aaron and shouts at him in the way she does until he commits suicide which is a blessed release for him

Part.31) - Aaron hears that Cain's to kill Robert and his brain explodes at the plan's stupidity

Part .32) - Aaron is in the excercise yard when a notorious prisoners makes an attempt to escape by helocopter, however the pilot makes a mistake and the chopper crashes killing everyone in the exercise yard including Aaron

Part 33) - Aaron has finally proved been innocent and he has cried so much his tear ducts have dried up and they have become infected, Aaron, he goes blind and cuts him foot on a piece of glass and his foot becomes infected and has to be cut off, while he is in a wheelchair Chas doesn't see an open manhole and he falls in breaking his other leg and hip. While in hospital his new hip causes an infection which causes his kidney to fail and has to go on Dialysis then his liver fails and then he has a transplant, unfortunately this person just back from france had been bitten by a rabid dog so aaron dies horribly of Rabies and his New Liver was rejecting him anyway.

Part 34) An eagle is flying overhead he has caught a tortoise but drops it on Aarons head and kills him.

Part 35 - Rewind to before Aaron is conceived and Kill Chas instead, all then will be well

Part 36) - Kill Shadrach before Chas is conceived, then we would be rid of Aaron, Chas, gennie and Cain would be a much nicer person he would never have got with Charity and so there would be no Debbie either.

So everybody would be happy in one way or another.

Part 37) - Its dark and Ross mistaking Aaron for Pete (he's so bad at this isn't he) only realises it when he's hanging Aaron of that viaduct, Ross not wanting anyone knowing drops him over the edge and so Aaron dies. Then Pete who has had enough shoots Ross with a shotgun and so both Aaron and Ross are dead

Part 38) - Ross tries to kill Pete, Pete Tries to kill Ross, Andy tries to kill both of them but misses and kills Aaron instead, then Ross and pete Kill each other and Andy kills himself after killing Robert.

Its like a highly unromantic Romeo and Juliet

Part .39) - Aaron is still in jail, meanwhile Pete has joined him. Elsehwere the woolpack has won the contract to feet the prison, why is the woolpack feeding the prison you ask well this is just another kate Oates Storyline so its pointless asking why, she just felt like it at the time oddly she isn't ripping off the Green Mile or the Shawshank Redemption so that's a first.

Anyway Overworked marlon is heartbroken that his latest l greatest love of his life (although he's only met her once) has snubbed him. So what's about to happen is paddy's fault. In his grief Marlon put Rat poison in the prison food instead of Salt, so the whole prison is killed by poison , so as well as Aaron and Pete 860 prsioners and 200 staff are all dead.


Part 40) - Aaron has found out Ross and Debbie are back together and that it was Ross that shot Robert, however chheky munchkin April has snuck away and is investigating a steam roller left by the roadworks on the robblesfield road, april accidently starts it and when Aaron crosses the road without looking he is squashed to death. The roller conitnues on its way until it crashed into Debbie's House and kills Ross and Debbie who were shagging on the couch.

Part 40) - Aaron is in prison when a riot breaks out, Mick the cannibal kills Aaron and eats him raw, despite the prsion being on fire.

Part 41) - AAron never came back from France it was all a dream

When he woke up from his terrible nightmare her went to work but was still tired from the terrible dream so is careless amd the car he was working ion fell on his head.

But we never saw any of this because it was off screen

What a blessed relief

Part 42) - Belle is sick in the Punch at another party, aaron is the one to drink it this time and he dies of food poisoning

Part 43) - A pack of dogs rips Aaron to bits he is dead

Part 44) - Aaron is murdered by Chas stalker who then goes on to kill Ross, just because.

Part 45) - Aaron is trying to get on DS but the Beta monster blocks him and he cries so much the water gets inside the computer and electrcutes Aaron to Death

Part 46) - Aaron is so enraged by the DS Beta Version he has a massive brain Aneurism and he dies.

Part 46) - Aaron is being all moody again so goes to Jackson's grave where he is scared to death by his ghost

It is what Jackson wanted.

Part 47) - Cain finds out that Aaron is sleeping with Robert again so goes to kill Robert, he takes a gun and shoots at a figure inside the Woolpack but it turns out to be Aaron who dies instantly

Part 48) - Sleepwalking Chas strangles Aaron to death in one of her sleepwalks and Emma gets the blame.

Part 49) - Sleepwalking Chas causes the CO2 to leak again and Aaron is gassed to death

Part 50) - Emma wants revenge on Chas amd messed with her hair Dryer, but Aaron wants to dry his hair quickly and he is electrocuted to death

Ross is going to snap and grab the nearest pillow, isn't he?

Poor, lovely fella. He should accept help when it's offered.

And hopefully use it on himself

And parents.

Oi!!!

You've turned into star

See that is why him and Debbie could never work, she needs a man that is good with kids so she can go off and do her without worrying about the kids.

He could get tips off his mother, but then again she failed dismally, so perhaps not

Ross needs to ask Nico from Hollyoaks for help, she will get the job done

you've got to hold it down for long enough...or so I'm told...

Moses is safe enough then with Ross' ' mucking everything up' track record

Once Emma moves in on Moses Ross won' t get anywhere near....


and in 50 years Moses' ll be wearing her clothes, calling her Mother, and keeping her skeleton in the rocking chair

Yes - no-one will know he smothered her with a pillow

Hopefully he'll fall down the stairs and break his neck before he gets that far!

Moses carries the genes of Ross and Emma...poor bairn. They could just write the ' Born to Kill' episode now

Skank Charity being the poor kid's mum is much worse.

She' s terrible it' s true, but can you imagine Emma? spShe thinks she can recreate some sort of Stepford situation. How long will it be before she' s whacking James over the head for ruining her plans, then high tailing it with ' her boy Moses. '

I'm looking forward to Charity getting out and her and Emma fighting over Moses - it's about the only thing on ED to look forward to at the minute!

Analysis of Emmerdale Characters (mind the crumbs i'm eating another Easter egg)

1) Ashley - I often give Ashley a hard time but he was brilliant in this episode, Actor going out in style, going to be very emotional this storyline. Not sure why he shouted at Laurel though

2) Laurel - Also good but hard to be sympathetic after all she's done.

3) Sandy - poor Sandy, going to lose his child which is always a bad thing no matter what age.

4) Harriet - Poor Harriet used her detective skills to find bad news

5) Victoria - Selflessly agreed to let Adam's baby and ex lover stay in her home, what a marvelous girl she is..

6) Adam - no doubt mentioning he's the father a lot to make it harder when he finds out the truth

7) Vanessa - Poor Vanessa having a hard time and likely to have a harder time any day.

8) Gordon - Seems to get creepier by the day what is he upto.

9) Chas - Run, run now and run far.

10) Aaron the least likable and most unsympathetic character in soap wants my sympathy, I say p*** off and stop whining you hateful piece of **** ********* *****

11) Cain - Gives good advice but strangely gullible

12) Ross - bad father

13) Emma who would take advice from her when it come to babies

14) Doormat james.


Ways to kill Aaron part 96

Aaron runs his hand over the candle sets fire to himself suffer 99& 3rd degree burns and takes 10 days to diie.

Ways how to Kill Aaron Part 97.

He is found one morning with only his left foot unburnt he has spontaneously combusted in the night

Ways how to kill Aaron part 98

Aaron falls in a garden pond where he is eaten by hungry goldfish

Ways how o kill Aaron part 99

Aaron gets his big toe stuck in a tap his toe swells and he dies from blood clots.

Ways how to kill Aaron Part 100

Aaron dies no need for an explanation isn't it wonderful.

There wont be any fun in that, Emma would be fighting way out of her class Charity could take her with one hand behind her back and blindfold(as the old saying goes)

Incoming

From the big book of how to kill Aaron 51-75 pity I didn't great a big database taking ages to find all these heh)

part 51) - Emma knocks out Aaron in revenge for Chas and places him on top of the bonfire and Aaron takes the place of the Guy and burns to death a bit like the hedgehog thats at the bottom of the Bonfire

Part 52) - Aaron is knocked out by Emma who place a firework in his mouth and a banger up his bum, Aaron is soon on his way to heaven

part 53) - Aaron dad visits and kills Aaron just because

Part 54) A Ram escapes and its horns gore Aaron he is dead.

Part 55) - Aaron prison van on its way back to prison crashes with a bus carrying Amy back to Emmerdale, both vehicles blow up and they are both killed.

Part 56) - Ross dangles Moses from his bedroom Michael Jackson stryle and drops him, fortunately for moses Aaron is passing beneath and Moses lads on his head, moses is fine but Aaon is dead.

Part 57) - Aaron is walking down the street when the Americans launch a drone strike on him, for some reason the drone was 3000 miles of course and they thought the drone was in Iraq.

Part 58) - Aaron is out of prison on bail, he see's Andy and Robert driving at each other and tries to stop them but they both smash into him turning him into squashed jam.

Andy and Robert are both fine after bouncing off Aaron ego.

Malt Shovel Bulletin has been delayed for unforseen reasons until tomorrow.

Part 59) - Aaron see's Jimmy and Nicola having sex, he's is so horrified by that sight he jumps off the nearest cliff, and who could blame him.

Part 60) -Just as he is getting out of the prison he is squashed by an elephant that has just escaped from a circus.

part 61) - For years a tape worm has been growing in Aaron's brain, it has grown so large he goes mad, he kills sleepwalking Chas because she is walking naked down the street, he then kills Andy and Ross because Robert has told him everything, then he kills Robert mid sex session because he finally totally snaps he then kill Nicola and Jimmy before being shot to death by a police sniper

Part 62) - Aaron is trying to get over his prison sentence so he goes to Bar West to cheer himself up but there is a band playing but something goes wrong and the bar burns down and Aaron is killed in the crush.

Part 63) - A Wheel falls of a tractor and rolls down the road running over Aaron who was on his way to resume his affair with Robert

Part 64) - Aaron is sleeping when the useless french police who are 350 miles from where they should be storm his room and shoot him 20,000 times.

Part 65) - Aaron was attending a marriage but the zombie ghost of Katie Sugden put her hand through his chest and tore out his Heart and killed him, who knew he had a heart

Part 66) - After stabbing Diane Chas also stabs Aaron when he comes to help diane

Par 67) - KO finally finishes him of by just writing him doing nothing with him, Danny Miller gets bored and goes of to rubbish ITV drama's where he grunts abit and then goes of screen like that ghost drama which he did after he left last time.

part 68) -
Aaron sleep walks like his mother right in from of the Hotten to Leeds bus, unlucky since it only runs once a day

part 69) - Doug in his absolute incompetance causes the Woolpack down, Aaron was in bed dreaming of Robert is overcome by fumes and dies


part 70) - Aaron eats food from the Deli counter, sadly for him Gabby gave it her death stare and instantly made the food deadly and Aaron dies

Part 71) - Aaron is walking past when he is swamped by the giant shrine of Val he dies.

Part 72) - Aaron is literally bored to death by talking to Doug and doug starts going on about plants again.

Part 73) - Aaron see's Paddy and tess and is run oveer by a milk truck because he was distracted and you shouldn't do that in the middle of the road.

part 74)- Aaron hears that more Dingles are coming to visit and he cant bear that so he flee's goes back to France and chokes to death on a Snail

Part 75 A Wheel falls of a tractor and rolls down the road running over Aaron who was on his way to resume his affair with Robert


If anybody is annoyed by these first get a life since there are far more important things to get annoyed by and secondly just ignore this post

1. & 2. I think Laurel and Ashley are very sympathetic characters, they have great chemistry and both actors are very talented.

4. Don't worry about Harriet she'll be fine once she steals Bob away from Wendy

5. Victoria is far from marvelous and very selfish...still waiting on her to apologize to Aaron and Chas for all the accusation about shooting Robert. Victoria is worse than Debbie, at least with Debbie you know Charlie Webb is going to deliver a decent performance, the same can't be said for Isabelle Hodgins, whose easily the worst actor on the show.

10. I think you're confusing Aaron with Debbie, Victoria, Jai, Marlon or Wendy. Aaron is very sympathetic.

So if Vanessa is going to move into Victoria's spare room where is Andy living? I thought Andy and Robert were living with Victoria??

Is her house a secret tardis??

I can't imagine Emma will be too pleased when she finds out about Moira and Pete's little dalliance.