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The Emmerdale Discussion Thread (Spoilers in tags — Part 15) |
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#9426 |
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Party poppers posting for Kwynnes 37000th post as well as being Well 37002 in this thread heh
Analysis of Emmerdale Characters 1) Kerry - The shows been doing great this week and then they go and bring this shit godawful hateful vile creature back on the screen, what for the actress can't act serious storylines heck she's crap at comedy scenes as well and the main reson the show had been less good the previous fortnight at least. Axe this dreadful character now Ex Hollyoaks and the shows quality will instantly increase by 99.999999999% 2) Duller than duller Dull Dan - See above post but male and duller None of this bodes well when Dull and Dumber dominate the episode Most of the rest was good thankfully but it would be so much better with out 1 & 2 3) Pete and Leyla make a reasonably good couple but was she really planning to go out to a posh food place in THOSE clothes. they do indoor sky diving and Paragliding? 4) Victoria - Has Adam her that they will be moving out of the house she owns and they are moving into the farm? wonder what her reaction will be/ 5) Jai tale of his 2 week romance with Holly was a bit over blown wasn't it 6) Moira is staying because Holly was happy? maybe you should have said you were staying when Holly was happy and alive. 7) Charity forgot all about Noah when she was making exciting plans of life on the road outside of Emmerdale 8) If Charity and Cain really leave the show is DOOOOOMED 9) Power and influence of Home Farm growing, is Charity going to evict Ashley and Laurel, if they are still there that is since we haven't seen them since Laurel had her baby. |
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#9427 |
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So last night ITV at the end of the show offered a help for issues featured in the show err which issues were those that would take 10 hours on the phone to explain
So here is Analysis centrals review of the Jeremy Kyle show special 5 hour edition to get to the heart of the issues at the heart of the most troubled village in th country After theme tune Jeremy Kyle who will be called JK from this point walks on confidently in an arrogant and snide manner JK says Welcome to the Jeremy Kyle show, we have an amazing show for you, if you thought we dealt with difficult issues and troubled inner ciity neighbourhoods before you have obviously never been to the yorkshire village of Emmerdale, where secrets and troubled people abound JK to start with as is customary on this show we like a good Dna testing. JK So Welcome Rebecca White to the Show - clapping from audience Rebecca all blonde smiles and headband "Hi" JK So Rebecca what are you here for today Rebecca "well Jeremy my family do nothing but lie to me, my father may not be my father, my sister is trying to cut me out of the will even though he's not her father either and her son shot my Father with a shotgun and they all framed Chriissie boyfriend for the crime and now he's fled the country" "I may be new to the village but what goes on there is shocking" JK Well Rebecca that quite a story shall we bring on the rest of your family, everybody welcome Chriis, Lachlan and lawrence White to the show along with Robert Sugden brother of the missing Andy They all walk on Chrissie slaps Rebecca for revealing family secrets and has to be restrained by members of the crew JK " So who wants to start" Chrissie "We kept secrets because Rebecca wasn't here and it was nothing to be worried about" Lachlam looks guilty and sheepish JK " So Robert is Rebbecca story correct did all those things happen and did you not cheat on Chrissie when you were married and cheat on her with another man" Robert yes I did but that not the issue right now You should also know that Chrissie shot down a helicopter and lachlan abused a woman sexually, and Lawrence wrecked a womans life by marrying her even though he is gay. JK lets all welcome Priya and Rakesh Kotecha to the Show. JK " So Rakesh your story is your son ran over a woman, fled to Brazil, you got into debt by helping him, lost your job set fire to your worthless house because of your debts and dry rot, caused a villager to suffer brain damage and a withered arm, got into even more debt and then stole thousands from your wifes family firm and you have just failed to kill your self" Rakesh just looks guilty Priya "its all true Jeremy he's a monster and he brought back my Bulimia Fight breaks out when priya brother Jai attacks Rakeshand the crew jump on him JK "Come back after the break we will talk to Kerry and Dan about how Dan kissed another woman and in revenge Kerry slept with a Taxi driver and had an abortion even thought the baby was probably Dans" JK Welcome back to the show The unwelcome sight of Doug potts come on to complain about how everyone is scared of Helicopters and planes because a plane once fell on the village Doug is evicted from the studio. JK Lets welcome Emma and James Barton to the studio JK " Well Emma is it true James loves another woman and you don't want him to leave so you have drugged him and locked him up?" Emma " Well Jeremy i'm only doing what any woman would try to save my marriage just like I tried to smother our marriage by smothering our son Ross when he was a baby because James cheated on me with my sister in law Moira" James is snoring JK is a bit despairing at all the madness around him, even he hasn't seen such troubled madness After the break we we have Rebecca's DNA results and much will become clear Adverts After the break JK has been mysteriously shot, will he survive who did it it and why. |
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#9428 |
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Quote:
So last night ITV at the end of the show offered a help for issues featured in the show err which issues were those that would take 10 hours on the phone to explain
So here is Analysis centrals review of the Jeremy Kyle show special 5 hour edition to get to the heart of the issues at the heart of the most troubled village in th country After theme tune Jeremy Kyle who will be called JK from this point walks on confidently in an arrogant and snide manner JK says Welcome to the Jeremy Kyle show, we have an amazing show for you, if you thought we dealt with difficult issues and troubled inner ciity neighbourhoods before you have obviously never been to the yorkshire village of Emmerdale, where secrets and troubled people abound JK to start with as is customary on this show we like a good Dna testing. JK So Welcome Rebecca White to the Show - clapping from audience Rebecca all blonde smiles and headband "Hi" JK So Rebecca what are you here for today Rebecca "well Jeremy my family do nothing but lie to me, my father may not be my father, my sister is trying to cut me out of the will even though he's not her father either and her son shot my Father with a shotgun and they all framed Chriissie boyfriend for the crime and now he's fled the country" "I may be new to the village but what goes on there is shocking" JK Well Rebecca that quite a story shall we bring on the rest of your family, everybody welcome Chriis, Lachlan and lawrence White to the show along with Robert Sugden brother of the missing Andy They all walk on Chrissie slaps Rebecca for revealing family secrets and has to be restrained by members of the crew JK " So who wants to start" Chrissie "We kept secrets because Rebecca wasn't here and it was nothing to be worried about" Lachlam looks guilty and sheepish JK " So Robert is Rebbecca story correct did all those things happen and did you not cheat on Chrissie when you were married and cheat on her with another man" Robert yes I did but that not the issue right now You should also know that Chrissie shot down a helicopter and lachlan abused a woman sexually, and Lawrence wrecked a womans life by marrying her even though he is gay. JK lets all welcome Priya and Rakesh Kotecha to the Show. JK " So Rakesh your story is your son ran over a woman, fled to Brazil, you got into debt by helping him, lost your job set fire to your worthless house because of your debts and dry rot, caused a villager to suffer brain damage and a withered arm, got into even more debt and then stole thousands from your wifes family firm and you have just failed to kill your self" Rakesh just looks guilty Priya "its all true Jeremy he's a monster and he brought back my Bulimia Fight breaks out when priya brother Jai attacks Rakeshand the crew jump on him JK "Come back after the break we will talk to Kerry and Dan about how Dan kissed another woman and in revenge Kerry slept with a Taxi driver and had an abortion even thought the baby was probably Dans" JK Welcome back to the show The unwelcome sight of Doug potts come on to complain about how everyone is scared of Helicopters and planes because a plane once fell on the village Doug is evicted from the studio. JK Lets welcome Emma and James Barton to the studio JK " Well Emma is it true James loves another woman and you don't want him to leave so you have drugged him and locked him up?" Emma " Well Jeremy i'm only doing what any woman would try to save my marriage just like I tried to smother our marriage by smothering our son Ross when he was a baby because James cheated on me with my sister in law Moira" James is snoring JK is a bit despairing at all the madness around him, even he hasn't seen such troubled madness After the break we we have Rebecca's DNA results and much will become clear Adverts After the break JK has been mysteriously shot, will he survive who did it it and why. ![]() ![]() ![]() Kwynne, if the Emmerdale producers want to raise their game, they should recruit you onto the story-boarding and writing team. They should also invest in The Malt - a weekly story of country folk. |
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#9429 |
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Join Date: Jun 2011
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Malt delayed until tomorrow due to the editor going to Holly's funeral
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#9430 |
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Join Date: Jul 2013
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So last night ITV at the end of the show offered a help for issues featured in the show err which issues were those that would take 10 hours on the phone to explain
So here is Analysis centrals review of the Jeremy Kyle show special 5 hour edition to get to the heart of the issues at the heart of the most troubled village in th country After theme tune Jeremy Kyle who will be called JK from this point walks on confidently in an arrogant and snide manner JK says Welcome to the Jeremy Kyle show, we have an amazing show for you, if you thought we dealt with difficult issues and troubled inner ciity neighbourhoods before you have obviously never been to the yorkshire village of Emmerdale, where secrets and troubled people abound JK to start with as is customary on this show we like a good Dna testing. JK So Welcome Rebecca White to the Show - clapping from audience Rebecca all blonde smiles and headband "Hi" JK So Rebecca what are you here for today Rebecca "well Jeremy my family do nothing but lie to me, my father may not be my father, my sister is trying to cut me out of the will even though he's not her father either and her son shot my Father with a shotgun and they all framed Chriissie boyfriend for the crime and now he's fled the country" "I may be new to the village but what goes on there is shocking" JK Well Rebecca that quite a story shall we bring on the rest of your family, everybody welcome Chriis, Lachlan and lawrence White to the show along with Robert Sugden brother of the missing Andy They all walk on Chrissie slaps Rebecca for revealing family secrets and has to be restrained by members of the crew JK " So who wants to start" Chrissie "We kept secrets because Rebecca wasn't here and it was nothing to be worried about" Lachlam looks guilty and sheepish JK " So Robert is Rebbecca story correct did all those things happen and did you not cheat on Chrissie when you were married and cheat on her with another man" Robert yes I did but that not the issue right now You should also know that Chrissie shot down a helicopter and lachlan abused a woman sexually, and Lawrence wrecked a womans life by marrying her even though he is gay. JK lets all welcome Priya and Rakesh Kotecha to the Show. JK " So Rakesh your story is your son ran over a woman, fled to Brazil, you got into debt by helping him, lost your job set fire to your worthless house because of your debts and dry rot, caused a villager to suffer brain damage and a withered arm, got into even more debt and then stole thousands from your wifes family firm and you have just failed to kill your self" Rakesh just looks guilty Priya "its all true Jeremy he's a monster and he brought back my Bulimia Fight breaks out when priya brother Jai attacks Rakeshand the crew jump on him JK "Come back after the break we will talk to Kerry and Dan about how Dan kissed another woman and in revenge Kerry slept with a Taxi driver and had an abortion even thought the baby was probably Dans" JK Welcome back to the show The unwelcome sight of Doug potts come on to complain about how everyone is scared of Helicopters and planes because a plane once fell on the village Doug is evicted from the studio. JK Lets welcome Emma and James Barton to the studio JK " Well Emma is it true James loves another woman and you don't want him to leave so you have drugged him and locked him up?" Emma " Well Jeremy i'm only doing what any woman would try to save my marriage just like I tried to smother our marriage by smothering our son Ross when he was a baby because James cheated on me with my sister in law Moira" James is snoring JK is a bit despairing at all the madness around him, even he hasn't seen such troubled madness After the break we we have Rebecca's DNA results and much will become clear Adverts After the break JK has been mysteriously shot, will he survive who did it it and why. ![]() Next you need to do Robron, A tale of lust, kidnapping, several attempted murders, and love
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#9431 |
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LMAO!!!! That was hilarious. You need to write for the show.
![]() Next you need to do Robron, A tale of lust, kidnapping, several attempted murders, and love ![]() |
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#9432 |
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Just too unrealistic even for Jeremy Kyle
With Luke and Laura and on General Hospital, Luke raped Laura before they went on to stop the Cassadines from freezing the world and becoming soaps biggest super couple ever. On Days of Our Lives EJ forced Sami to sleep with him in exchange for saving Lucas' life which was basically rape and Sami shot EJ in the head yet they were arguably Days most popular couple in the last decade. Before that Sami was with Lucas and almost let Sami be executed on death row for a murder he committed On All My Children Trevor married Janet even though when Trevor was married to Janet's sister Natalie, Janet threw Natalie down a well and took over Natalie's life, got pregnant by Trevor and murdered Trevor's niece Hayley's husband Will with a crowbar. Then Janet got some experimental plastic surgery that altered her looks in exchange for an early prison release came back to Pine Valley with a new face and name and conned Trevor into getting into a relationship with her again, after Janet was exposed she planned to set off a bomb at Trevor's wedding to Laurel and kidnap her daughter. But about 2 years later some how Janet and Trevor fell for each other and got married. |
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#9433 |
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LOL. You know I've been thinking about that though and they aren't so unrealistic, well at least for soaps there have been couples on the US soaps that have had similar histories.
With Luke and Laura and on General Hospital, Luke raped Laura before they went on to stop the Cassadines from freezing the world and becoming soaps biggest super couple ever. On Days of Our Lives EJ forced Sami to sleep with him in exchange for saving Lucas' life which was basically rape and Sami shot EJ in the head yet they were arguably Days most popular couple in the last decade. Before that Sami was with Lucas and almost let Sami be executed on death row for a murder he committed On All My Children Trevor married Janet even though when Trevor was married to Janet's sister Natalie, Janet threw Natalie down a well and took over Natalie's life, got pregnant by Trevor and murdered Trevor's niece Hayley's husband Will with a crowbar. Then Janet got some experimental plastic surgery that altered her looks in exchange for an early prison release came back to Pine Valley with a new face and name and conned Trevor into getting into a relationship with her again, after Janet was exposed she planned to set off a bomb at Trevor's wedding to Laurel and kidnap her daughter. But about 2 years later some how Janet and Trevor fell for each other and got married. ![]() ![]()
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#9434 |
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#9435 |
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LOL
Robron doesn't look that bad now huh? ![]()
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#9436 |
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Join Date: May 2012
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LOL
Robron doesn't look that bad now huh? ![]() ![]() Did Blake not rape Krystle in Dynasty as well? |
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#9437 |
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LOL. You know I've been thinking about that though and they aren't so unrealistic, well at least for soaps there have been couples on the US soaps that have had similar histories.
With Luke and Laura and on General Hospital, Luke raped Laura before they went on to stop the Cassadines from freezing the world and becoming soaps biggest super couple ever. On Days of Our Lives EJ forced Sami to sleep with him in exchange for saving Lucas' life which was basically rape and Sami shot EJ in the head yet they were arguably Days most popular couple in the last decade. Before that Sami was with Lucas and almost let Sami be executed on death row for a murder he committed On All My Children Trevor married Janet even though when Trevor was married to Janet's sister Natalie, Janet threw Natalie down a well and took over Natalie's life, got pregnant by Trevor and murdered Trevor's niece Hayley's husband Will with a crowbar. Then Janet got some experimental plastic surgery that altered her looks in exchange for an early prison release came back to Pine Valley with a new face and name and conned Trevor into getting into a relationship with her again, after Janet was exposed she planned to set off a bomb at Trevor's wedding to Laurel and kidnap her daughter. But about 2 years later some how Janet and Trevor fell for each other and got married. |
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#9438 |
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Join Date: Dec 2009
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LOL. You know I've been thinking about that though and they aren't so unrealistic, well at least for soaps there have been couples on the US soaps that have had similar histories.
With Luke and Laura and on General Hospital, Luke raped Laura before they went on to stop the Cassadines from freezing the world and becoming soaps biggest super couple ever. On Days of Our Lives EJ forced Sami to sleep with him in exchange for saving Lucas' life which was basically rape and Sami shot EJ in the head yet they were arguably Days most popular couple in the last decade. Before that Sami was with Lucas and almost let Sami be executed on death row for a murder he committed On All My Children Trevor married Janet even though when Trevor was married to Janet's sister Natalie, Janet threw Natalie down a well and took over Natalie's life, got pregnant by Trevor and murdered Trevor's niece Hayley's husband Will with a crowbar. Then Janet got some experimental plastic surgery that altered her looks in exchange for an early prison release came back to Pine Valley with a new face and name and conned Trevor into getting into a relationship with her again, after Janet was exposed she planned to set off a bomb at Trevor's wedding to Laurel and kidnap her daughter. But about 2 years later some how Janet and Trevor fell for each other and got married.
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#9439 |
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Is this some sort of metaphor I'm missing the meaning of? or did they literally try to freeze the world?.
![]() Here is a scene with from the end of the Ice Princess story https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U2o10OdxB9g |
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#9440 |
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And this kind of crap is exactly why the US soaps never made it to popular primetime tv in the UK
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#9441 |
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Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 3,995
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LOL. You know I've been thinking about that though and they aren't so unrealistic, well at least for soaps there have been couples on the US soaps that have had similar histories.
With Luke and Laura and on General Hospital, Luke raped Laura before they went on to stop the Cassadines from freezing the world and becoming soaps biggest super couple ever. On Days of Our Lives EJ forced Sami to sleep with him in exchange for saving Lucas' life which was basically rape and Sami shot EJ in the head yet they were arguably Days most popular couple in the last decade. Before that Sami was with Lucas and almost let Sami be executed on death row for a murder he committed On All My Children Trevor married Janet even though when Trevor was married to Janet's sister Natalie, Janet threw Natalie down a well and took over Natalie's life, got pregnant by Trevor and murdered Trevor's niece Hayley's husband Will with a crowbar. Then Janet got some experimental plastic surgery that altered her looks in exchange for an early prison release came back to Pine Valley with a new face and name and conned Trevor into getting into a relationship with her again, after Janet was exposed she planned to set off a bomb at Trevor's wedding to Laurel and kidnap her daughter. But about 2 years later some how Janet and Trevor fell for each other and got married. |
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#9442 |
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The show has survived without Charity and Cain before and it would again. Charity to me is just a poor pantomime villain, even when she shows glimpses of a heart she will ruin it in the next second. I used to find it funny but after all these years I would expect some character development.
Both he and Charity NEED to go.
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#9443 |
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: Over the hills and far away
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Very much agree. I don't even know what her character is supposed to be anymore other than very irritating and highly unlikable. Seeing her peer round the tree at Cain mourning at Holly's grave looked comical basically though not remotely funny. Having said that Cain wasn't much better. That speech and crying had to be the most insincere and unbelievable acting I've seen in a long while. To think I used to love Cain
Both he and Charity NEED to go. They all phone it in a bit from time to time?Cain needs to stay and keep evolving gradually as he has been over the past few years into a much nicer person, with or without Moira.
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#9444 |
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A slight exaggeration. It wasn't t his best performance I' d agree but there's s worse in ED every week
They all phone it in a bit from time to time?Cain needs to stay and keep evolving gradually as he has been over the past few years into a much nicer person, with or without Moira. |
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#9445 |
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: Over the hills and far away
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Has Cain really got nicer though? He is still horrible to most people, he still has a tendency to kidnap people and no matter what his excuse was, the way he treated Holly was terrible. Not to mention that he is a bit of a hypocrite, I still like him though, when he isnt running around after Deborah cleaning up her mess.
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#9446 |
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Join Date: Jan 2012
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A slight exaggeration. It wasn't t his best performance I' d agree but there's s worse in ED every week
They all phone it in a bit from time to time?Cain needs to stay and keep evolving gradually as he has been over the past few years into a much nicer person, with or without Moira. |
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#9447 |
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Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 56,123
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Has Cain really got nicer though? He is still horrible to most people, he still has a tendency to kidnap people and no matter what his excuse was, the way he treated Holly was terrible. Not to mention that he is a bit of a hypocrite, I still like him though, when he isnt running around after Deborah cleaning up her mess.
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#9448 |
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Join Date: Feb 2015
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Has Cain really got nicer though? He is still horrible to most people, he still has a tendency to kidnap people and no matter what his excuse was, the way he treated Holly was terrible. Not to mention that he is a bit of a hypocrite, I still like him though, when he isnt running around after Deborah cleaning up her mess.
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#9449 |
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Join Date: Apr 2010
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He's nowhere near as horrible and hypocritical as the dreaded Dross, who cares about no one but himself and his own self gratification.
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#9450 |
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Join Date: Apr 2010
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If he'd phoned it in I probably wouldn't have mentioned it but he was actively bad. It was incredibly insincere and just awfully acted. I think if he's putting out stuff like this after all these years there's little hope for improvement. I'm bored with the Dingles full stop but Cain and Charity are top of that list.
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Both he and Charity NEED to go.
