Since none of us know exactly where Hotton is in relation to Emmerdale how on earth do we know whether when bypassing Hotton it instead goes close to Emmerdale, and wouldn't people from Emmerdale use a road that take you to other main roads than use windy country roads?

We do know, ist 8 miles away, it's on one of the road signs on the main village road. It's been zoomed In on camera several times when they want you to know a charcther is going to when they have gotten in the bus ( usually after stormin off after a row and not saying where they are going)

Well then the Hotton bypass must go somewhere if its avoiding Hotton and its probably on the far side of the Wylie's so a mile or 2 from Emmerdale. A bit bit like the M62 which is a couple of farms from my dads house and a mile away

Analysis of Emmerdale Characterrs

1) Aaron - he has hair like a toilet brush

2) Robshite - this marriage thing is going to be a boring nightmare of endless crap and misery isn't he, given that Aaron manage to make even a proposal sound like the most miserable thing in the world.

3) Robert - Away from Crybabies he is very good, like him with the lovely Rebecca and loyal to his brother suddenly

4) Victoria a bright light on the episode, why has she suddenly started wearing leather jackets though.

5) Emma best character in Emmerdale currently - loved her brilliant but bonkers idea for blaming James death on Cain

6) Dross - the only time anyone asks who has died in jest is when someone actually has died. so how many innocent people are going to be put in coma's before he finds out Cain didn't do it.?

7) Shut up boring Pete

8) So is Chrissie holding this surprise party in the woolpack where there will be shocking revelations a fight and makeups like always

9) Rebecca - best new character in ages

10) So the police want to charge Ashley do they, whats the point of that then?

11) Gabby - where the eff is Gabby.?

Analysis of Emmerdale Characters

Very good episode

1)Cain wants to leave as soon as possible, whats keeping you meat, there is the road, drive for a bit then your gone, at current rate, Moira might even pay for the petrol

So his excuse for not killing James is that he was already in trouble with the police?

2) Why is Charity so desperate to leave, she is a shadow of her former self

3) Ross dear if you hadn't pushed you father and he broke his leg he wouldn't have been at the mercy of mad Emma and you would James would probably have run off to Moira's by now. So Ross its all you fault

4 emma dear burning the dress with the chicken yours and James blood was sensible but you did it remarkably close to the farmhouse or has another disaster about to occur to the cursed farm

5) Popeye Lachlan, any more Muscles he will be so big he won't fit through the door at home farm

5) Is Lawrence still trying to claim he isn't gay? against all available evidence.

6) Where did Ronnie magically appear from? he wasn't around before or after the scene.

8) Rebecca is a great character in a great family and typically as predicted all sorts of gossip and slaps occurred in the woolpack

Her slap was much better than Chrissie's and she totally owned Chrissie by revealing she already knows all Chrissie lies

9) Chrissie's a big old wimp isn't she? ,the second anyone fights back she turns into a whiney baby and starts making threats.

10 Ashley - probably time to put him in a home because goodness knows Loopy Laurel isn't looking after him very well

11) Hotten police just a crap as always

12) Shut up Robert no one cares about Robshite

Ross didn't actually push James...

Exactly, it's not very far. In reality people would be in and out all the time, for work, shopping and leisure.

Well he turned round with a box in his hand causing James to fall down the stairs, might as well have heh

No but he was like a dog with a bone. One he found out about what James said to Moira he just couldn't leave it alone I liked James and Bill Ward did a good job. Shame the actor has been killed of twice.

I thought it was a good episode too.

1) The hope of Moira taking him back is what's keeping him there.
The fact that he is sitting there with Charity doesn't appear to have even crossed his mind!

I know, and Charity is surprised the always come sniffing round Cain when a crime has been comitted?

2) She's scared of Cain leaving her for Moira. Whcih he will do, in a heartbeat, if she offered.

3) If James hadn't copped off with Moira, Ross would not have been angry and accidentally knocked him down the stairs so it's James own fault for not being able to control himself around Moira's big breasts.

4) I think it was quite controlled in that metal bin. No disaster at Wylie's.

5) It would appear so, goodness knows why, nobody in the village really cares. Ronnie needs to get in some sexy underwear and sneak into Lawrence's bed when he's not looking.

6) He must have come in through the toilet entrance and scarpered pretty quickly once the fight broke out.

Looks like we're skipping a number 7

8) Rebecca's okay. I'm wondering where this is going to go now. Want her to switch to the fantastic White team, since it's not just Chrissie's lies she has discovered and am unsure why she's taking all the blame for things that Lawrence has also kept secret.

I'm unapologetically team Chrissie.

9) I'd say the slaps were pretty even. Both were hurt by each other. I think Rebecca's probably received more in her lifetime so is a bit more used to it than Chrissie.

10) Poor Ashley. Where does Laurel hide the car keys now?
Ashley couldn't even remember Ross's name!

11) Were they? I didn't notice.

12) I concur.

To be fair, he had every right, Emma would of found out sooner if Ross hadn't of covered for him. I doubt Ross could of foreseen what was coming... his mum in a wedding dress, covered in chicken blood, pushing his dad off a bridge. Most people would of just called off the engagement...

Poor Ross cant be blamed for everything, he covered for James with the whole bra in the taxi incident.

They seem to have forgotten to show us Rhona the last couple of nights.

All we've been told is Paddy is with Rhona,

Yet all we have seen mainly from the crash is Robert and Aaron, and the aftermath of James Death.

Rhona seemed to be the one closest to death after James, she had a heart attack but we haven't seen her

I agree but it was the same in the actual crash too. She was just sitting there unconscious the entire time and then in the hospital she was only featured at the end with the tease of who would die.

It's very "woman in fridge" trope. With her possible death not being a part of her own story but a way to further the Paddy?peirce characters.

Analysis of Last nights epsiode

Questions questions

1) Where are Rhona and Paddy totally ignored after last week?

2) Where are tracy and David?, month longs honeymoons very expensive surely

and there was Oldnjaded worrying that Tracy would be on screen every episode for ever more heh.

3) Did Leo and the Gormless moron ever escape the campsite after they were abandoned by Paddy and Rhona?

4) How are you going to explain the missing chickens Rhona

5) If Rebecca is 99.977% Lawrence daughter what about the other 0.033% whose father are they?

6) Rebecca is lovely isn't she and won against Chriisie again.

7) Why did Chrissie think she could tell Rebecca that no one wanted her there when it was clear lawrence was delighted to have her there

8) Rebecca and Chrissie still share a mother don't they so still sisters? so why Chrissie so hostile.

9) Chrissie really doesn't like losing does she? sadly for her Rebecca is played by a better actress as well

10) No wonder that Noah wanted to go and live with Moira, Charity is a really bad mother and poor Noah hasn't lived under the same roof for more than a couple of months at a time since he was born.

11) Surely Belle wouldn't be coming home even for a visit for quite a while yet.

12) And why is Frank still in the village and wouldn't it be better if James bonds son the better Robin of Sherwood had played him?

Weekly Bulletin of the Malt (Shovel)

Last thursday there was a major road traffic accident involving many Emmerdale residents on the Hotton Bypass about a mile from the village. James Barton of Wylie's Farm was killed after apparently falling from a footbridge onto a passing vehicle causing a 13 vehicle pile up. Amongst the seriously injured were vets Paddy and Rona and Aaron Dingle whose care crashed into Motown Lake. Police are looking into the incident as an eyewitness saw a person on the bridge following Mr Bartons fall. % people are still in hospital following the crash

Congratulations to Howard Carter of tutankhamun terrace for reaching the grand old age of 106, he was a spitfire pilot during the second world war.

It is the Malts Halloween Fayre this saturday, people dressed as clowns are banned though since 2 clowns robbed old mother Hubbard of her valuables last tuesday and ate her curds and Whey. There have been many complaints in the malts at the overuse of fancy dress in the Emmerdale area so this may be the last fancy dress party for some time.

Analysis of Emmerdale Characters and issues last night

1) Charity really embarrassed herself with her desperate begging shrieking, sure he could have dumped you at a better time, like before you both left, or before you got together at all, I guess you really do love him after all.. Charity let Kwynne down, thought she was better than that.

But like Cain said you should have run him over

Driving of Quarry cliffs is not the answer

2 Cain ) Rather dramatically decided he prefered Moira and left Charity a sobbing wreck, hope he realises it will be a long time before Moira lets him out of the cursed caravan.

3) Moira you know you will forgive him eventually, although if you were sensible you would run over that caravan with a bull dozer

4) Robert was on fire with his taunting of Chrissie, he has such a way with words doesn't he?

5) Rhona - poor Rhona can't take pain killers because of her addiction, and has to put up with Pierce fussing over her

6) Dross is good with Moses but rubbish everywhere else

7) A somewhat innovative use for a model train in this episode.

8) Doug didn't appreciate it though and kicked Kerry out, first good thing he's ever done, but then Shuut up Doug

9) Bog off Kerry, your daughter gone no one likes you, the way out of the village is that way

10) Tracy returned - would anyone miss her if she went away

11) Not Son of Bond was rubbish again

12) Joanie is very annoying, Lisa should have hit her with that lasagne

13) Lisa is poorly

Home farm and all its doings

14) Sisterly squabbling is fun

15) Rebecca is the best new character in ages

16) Robert wound up Chrissie good an proper, but she is till being outfought by her sister.

17) Lawrence is happy to have all his family together, wonder how long that will last

18) With Cain at Butlers |Noah might get his wish to live with Moira after all

19) Dull Dan was dull

Soaplife spoilers for the 2 weeks from 7- 18Nov given that ITV seems to have given up

Mon 7th November - Fri 11 November


Mon 14th Nov - fri 18 Nov



TV Times future Spoilers for the next few months

Analysis of Emmerdale Currently

1) First last nights episode was a travesty of a shite episode, worst episode in absolute ages.

Sidebar Kwynne hates Halloween and everything about Halloween

2) Where did every character in every soap get money to afford such expensive costumes.

3) Since when did grown adults dress in fancy dress Halloween costumes anyway, fancy dress is for children and only children

4) Oh look the old mistaking some for someone else costume trick oh joy

5) And if we have to have Halloween episodes why were there no Children trick or treating or any children at all for that matter at least that would be vaguely realistic if incredibly irratating as in real life.

6) As for Kerry what a disgusting creature she is.

7) Since when is Droos care about his dead dad?

8) Charity I normally like you I don'y by the tears.

9) Dull Dan is dull no matter what he does, stop attempting to make him interesting ex Hollyoaks its never going to work.

10 The least said about Rishi the better.

Did I say I hate Halloween? well Kwynne does and is to disgusted to bother with any other characters

Analysis of Emmerdale Characters

It was sparring boxing practice night on Emmerdale with punches flying all over the place.

1) Belle - Poor Belle with parents like hers no wonder the poor girl is so messed up, she has a mother who sucks the joy out of Life and even this episode was trying to guilt her daughter and Zak who keeps cheating on his partners and punching Jermaine. Still it was nice to see Belle getting Better against all the odds.

2) Poor Jermaine only trying to help an lame old nag trot on and punched by Zak for it, Jermaine wonders if Belle who was ill for most of the time they were together still has feeling for him.

3) Lisa is a dementor from Harry Potter, sucks people souls of a life and Joy and tries to do it to the viewers every time she appears, no wonder Belle doesn't tell her things.

4) Zak the prat got things wrong with Bailey and then with Lisa yuck

5) chas - good with Belle, wonder how long the actress will be on screen for since having twins means no amount of cushions and Big Coats of Pregnancy will hide it.

6) Kerry is going to sleep with the dingles dog next since he's the only male in Emmerdale she hasn't slept with. Lost somewhere else to live, is there any house in the village she is still welcome at.

6) Dull dan is even dull when throwing Punches.

7) Typical violent Dross.

8 Sack them both Chriissie

9) Charity was astonishingly self centred when talking to Moria even by Charity standards.

10) You tell her Moria, but she doesn't look like she is handling things very well does she.

11) sam dear stay away from women they are bad for you

12) Megan reared up on 2 legs at Kerry very impressive for a lame old nag

13) Why doesn't Loopy Laurel want Ashley to go to a day centre? seems strange.

14) Ashley was keen but will have forgotten already

Will keep posting Analysis her for a while but may be soon time to lay this thread to rest

Ross was actually willing to walk away from the situation, until Dan decided to dance around and goad him. He just sent him to sleep for a few seconds and then cooled him off with some fresh water, Ross is a quality mate.

To be fair Ross and Dan were never friends and Dan has no room to judge after kissing Nicola behind Jimmy's back.

And he also slept with his ex wife too which kerry forgave him for

Yeah, they only seemed to focus on the "friendship" a few episodes before Ross slept with Kerry, They have never really been "mates", Ross doesn't have mates. Hes a lone wolf