after yesterday's Ashley episode, I hope I never again hear a Corrie actor say that Coronation Street is always brilliant at doing the big and/or sensitive storylines.

Emmerdale has that crown and leaves Corrie's three attempts at dementia storylines in the shade

Analysis of Emmerdale Characters

1) Ashley - Actor continuing his acting Master classes for the younger cast (and Doug hopefully), sadly Ashley is going downhill fast and laurel is planning on putting him in a home where he will inevitably be neglected.

2) Aarsewipe stank the episode out with his lies and hypocrisy. Laurel dear crybaby is the last person you should ask for advice. Instead of getting Jackson help for his severe depression he murdered him sorry helped him commit suicide, don't ask this disgusting creep anything.

Kwynne demands Alt Aaron take over the role for good because full time one is dreadful.

3) Laurel don't listen to either aarsewipe or Doug - still the actress is doing almost as well as Ashley Actor

4) Doug being horrid, is determined to put Ashley in a home and keep Laurel for himself, getting a bit creepy

5) Didn't Jimmy go away determined to go away and think things, came back just as whiny as he went away.

6) And Nicola was desperate for him not to go away why is she so angry now

Sidebar
Writer dear go back to blathering about soaps on This Morning or something because you are an awful writer

7) Rodney shut up.

8) Grief stricken Moira starting to get on everyone's nerves and lose business

9) Why are all business people from outside the village such horrible people?

10) Pete - does Pete want Moira or Leyla? or both or something because I got bored and mentally switched him off

11) Needy leyla being very needy

12) Shut up tracy

13) Kasim of the bad hair has no personality

14) Finn lying to Kasim about never having a proper boyfriend before

Back in the old routine

Ways how to Kill Aaron

Vol.2 No.15 The ghost of Jackson angry at him taking his name in vain rises and drags Aaron back down to hell from which he came

Vol2. No.16 The Alt Aaron from the alternative universe kills him and takes his place, no one notices, most people even think he's improved

Weekly Bulletin of the Malt Shovel

Half the village was on the look out in Hotten on Tuesday for poor COnfused Ashley who is suffering from Dementia after he went missing from Hotten General after he had suffered another relapse, eventually he was found by Aaron Dingle who brought him home. Many in the village remember Ashley as the best vicar the village has ever had and its terribly sad to see him in his present plight. We wish him well

The Malt has been lit up with the best decorations on a pub in Yorkshire, the front of the Malt is a giant picture of the nativity scene, some prankster though changed the lights ta the back of the pub to turn it into a brightly lit Donkeys bottom, this caused much amusement i9n the malt.

Farmer giles has been raising money for charity by dressing up as santa and riding a wagon made to look like a sleigh pulled by a train of 8 llama's dressed at Reindeer, he has so far raised £400

The Malt wishes everyone a Merry Christmas.

Alert Alert Spoilers, not sure if anyone has seen them or not, I hadn't


ITV spoilers for 2 - 6th January



Warning for those of nervous disposition possible Kerry/tracy overload.

A very generic type week

Analysis of Emmerdale Characters Christmas edition since there may be no more until the new year

1)Moria - Uck she slept with Pete, Pete is only 11% less dull than Dull Dan, also drank some more, opened her big drunk gob and then almost ran Jacob and Pette Over - having a good Christmas is Moria

2) Cain still loves Moira and lied for her and had to put up with Emma trying to frame him

Sidebar install CCTV on main street and police crime clear up rate for Hotton Police would rise 1000%

3) Pete - Surprised the Doctors managed to find Pete's brain to check for Brain damage, drop Moira in it with the police Pete.

4) Emma saw and ideal opportunity to have a go at Cain again

5) why has Dross taken up mountain climbing.

6) And where is Adam when his mother is getting into so much trouble? or Victoria for that matter.

7) All the villages Children and there are so many were traumatised after seeing Zak

8) And why was Zak lying to Joanie anyway I didn't understand his explanation.

9 Belle looked nice

10 Rish didn't

11) Joanie dear why are you letting Zak and Lisa wander the woods, your own fault if the get back together

12) Once she had got her head round her father going to care Gabby showed admirable signs of maturity by agreeing with Laurel and putting up the christmas decorations, having to grow up fast is the the poor girl.

134) As is Arthur

14) Sandy is finding things hard.

15) Put up loads of Decorations Laurel its looks like they will keep Ashley happy for weeks.

16) Shut up Doug and Diane your only getting in the way

Ways how to Kill

Moira is available with her Van if you want anyone run over

Merry

When you have achieved this goal, please be kind rnough to concentrate on Tracey.

Hahahahaaaa

Kwynne: youve really stuck the boot in! 😃😃😃

MarkWashington will just FAINT

Ugh- I agree!
Cant stand the character

Analysis of Emmerdale Characters

questions there to ask among various other points

1) Where is Cain and Kyle going to live now Kerry has burrned down the caravan and Lisa has given the flat to zak and does Cain own any clothes now in other words will Oldnjaded be lucky and see him Naked?

2) Zak & Lisa - this was big fat yuck who wants to see Dingle OAP Romanace certainly no one at Analysis central.

3) And what were the warning about distress at the start was it the viewers at seeing Zak and Lisa, by the way has Lisa forgiven him or not there conversation was very confusing.

4) Only one thing could stink out the episode other than the smell of the burning caravan and that was having to see Aaron exist

5) What are Robert and Rebecca upto now?

6) And when is Kerry ever going to get her sticky end she so deserves

7) Paddy popped his cork at just the wrong moment and got Chas right between the eyes which put an end to attempt any romance

8) Why is Vanessa the only vet in the village doing any work.

9) And the dreaded question must be asked will we ever see Karim again?

10 And Finn is still stalking him and even Emma thinks he's nuts now.

11) And is anyone driving any Taxi's for Bartons since Karim had to get a different firm

And why did Karim and Finn have that Conversation beside a waiting bus if it wasn't waiting for Karim?

Ways how to stop Kwynne going bonkers

Please Exhollyoaks get rid of Kerry, Shut Dross up and stop any kind of elderly Dingle Romance

There is CCTV on Main Street, one camera on the Café and another on The Woolpack, seen them often in shots.

Ross' banter and flirting was the best thing about the episode by a mile!!

1. They will stay at the pub of course

2. I have mixed feelings about this, while Zack and Lisa made a good couple and should never have split up, I feel it makes Lisa look really weak to take Zack back.

3. She has forgiven him

4. You are prejudice against Aaron

5. Probably throwing Aaron a surprise party but Aaron will think they are smashing leading him to do something to harm Rebecca.

6. I pray to God soon.

7. That was so stupid, this is a soap, people want to see romance, drama and action, no slapstick that belongs on a 40 year old sitcom.

9. Hopefully not and he takes Finn, Kerry, Tracy and Ex Hollyoaks with him

10. Put him in a mental hospital before he causes a multi-car pile up on the highway like his mother.

11. Maybe the villagers have stepped into the 21st century and started using Uber instead

1) Easier for Charity to send assassins after him I Suppose

4) Have I ever hidden that?

10) He already spends most of his time in the coma wards looking for new boyfriends

1. She doesn't want him dead, she'd be more likely to drug him and have her way with him

4.No you haven't. But your New Year's resolution should be to look at Aaron more objectively and stop hating him.

10. LOL, Cain and Zack are lucky they weren't in that fire, they could have ended up in a coma and been Finn's new BF

Whats to like about Aaron though? Zero personality, a rubbish thief who can't even make a robbery look interesting, constant misery who even looks miserable whilst smiling.

1) Doesn't want him Dead? Charity practically wound Kerry up so much so practically put the lighter in Kerry's had

10) Terrible thought but he would wouldn't he

Indeed so.

Mark agree's with us really, just isn't ready to admit it yet

Aaron is brooding and sexy, not everyone has to be a wanna be stand up comedian Also Ross is no better of a criminal than Aaron.

No I do not!

You and Al_capo just don't know greatness when you see it.

I knew you'd bring Ross up, why the constant comparison? I know that Ross is no master criminal but atleast he enjoys it and actually makes it interesting.

Enjoying being a criminal is a good thing?

Aaron not enjoying it shows he has a conscience.

Too right!

An appearance from the fabulous Hot Ross Buns always livens up an episode, no matter how briefly he features.

When someone is introduced to the show as a bad boy/villain then yeah, I think it shows a ruthless and evil side. Yet we have seen his softer side aswell on numerous occasions, and he calmed down alot last year. I just don't buy into Aarons character at all, he doesn't do normal well and his bad boy persona is not believable at all. Oh, and Aarons conscience really shone through when he used what happened to him as an excuse for braking into someones home, the water works really did the trick on that one.

Its good to see him interacting more with other characters, I know he's supposed to be the type of bloke who doesn't have mates but it would be good to give him atleast one.

Ross has calmed down a lot and has gone from the village car jacker to the the village comedian/male thot.

As for Aaron I think he was being genuine when he told Rebecca what he had been through, it wasn't an act.