There was an incident tonight where our dog Molly bit my dad on the hand. She's three years old, very hyperactive at times, goes crazy at the postman and anytime the door rings which is fine I know a lot of dogs can be like that but we moved to this new house in June last year so it's been a year and if we let her out she can jump into other back gardens and sometimes can disapear then reappear at the front gate wanting to get in. and likewise at the front. If anyone walks past our gate and puts their hand over to pat her she will bark at them, sometimes jump over the fence but she would never bite them, we always told people she was scared of them, she only barks. She is a friendly dog.

Tonight she jumped over when someone walked past and went down the road after them barking and my Dad had to go out and shout her and he checked her but sometimes he can look as if he is going to far. We had an incident before where when he tried to check her she bit back and of course when she tried to bite back he tries to hit her and back and forth and it ended up his hand was all cut and I'm ashamed to say i pushed him into a wall to get him to stop because his legs were going and part of me didn't want to see her get kicked. Tonight he tries to check her again and smacks her on the nose and she snarls back so he does it again and again while holding her collar and I said don't punc her even though i knew as soon as I said it he wasn't doing that, he was using the back of his hand but again how far is it going to go?


I said afterwards, of course i'm the bad one, she needs to be checked and told and know she's done wrong! I know that. And if that guy had phoned the police the police would have came and put her down, and I know that is true but i just didn't want to see it go too far. I said if she kept biting would you have kept hitting? He said yes if she's biting me and I said she's a dog a trying to defend herself so this would have went on for hours? I can't sit by and watch that but likewise I know she needs to know she was wrong.

My Dad has diabetes so of course he needs to watch any cuts he gets and he was cut in the hand tonight so some blood came out. Of course hours later it still sits unwashed because i'm the bad guy so the longer the hand has blood on it the worse i'll feel and know that i'm wrong and the dog is wrong. That's what Scottish people do, they hold a grudge and will hold out as long as possible to make sure you feel it. It's also coming up to the 2nd year since my Mum died. We had our dog Molly for about a year before my Mum died, just before Christmas 2012 infact and Molly was my Mum's idea. She asked me to buy her for her from a neighbour who's dog had pups and I'm an animal lover too and of course love her to bits but at the same time I don't know how to train dogs or stop things from happening, my family was not that good before Mum died, there's been a lot of backtracking since then from family and If i'm honest i'm the only one who really fought to keep Molly. I remember the day my Mum died there was family members up saying you can't have animals in the house, you can't have barking or this or that and my sister took her for a few days. Lots of digs since then from my brother and Uncles and get rid of her and this and that and i know it's just to get a reaction because that's the kind of way their brain works but apart from being an animal lover myself, i feel like that was one of the last things my Mum ever asked of me. I know if she had lived longer she would have known all the right things to do and would have trained her well and it would have been great, much better than me or my Dad but at the same time is it worth the stuff going on? Not being able to let her into the garden without one of us being there, trying to bring her in when someone is walking near our gate just incase they put their hand over to say hello and she barks and this happens a third time?

My Dad wants to do nothing now. He will let her into that garden and that is it. I am not that confident walking her or any dog for that matter because we are only in this area one year and I don't know anyone and I don't know other dogwalkers and I'm always scared that there will be a fight or I'll shout for her to come back and she wont and she will get hurted or someone else walking their dog will get cheeky or want to fight me. I don't wany any trouble so my Dad was the one that walked her every morning and I think that hurts him a bit too because he does so much for her. I want her to go to a good home. I will ask my sister if she knows anyone that would look after her and love her and be good to her and take care of her, I don't want her in a cat and dog home. I want her in a loving home? Do any of you have any advice at all?

you think its acceptable for your dad to hit your dog...

gobsmacked, please do that dog a favour and phone all the local rescues and find one willing to take her and save her from from the abuse she is suffering

No i don't think it's acceptable that's why i stopped it.

No need for that Soap-Lea. Hazy has already said she defended the dog and even pushed her Dad into a wall to stop it going any further, so I get the impression she doesn't think it's acceptable at all. Hazy has come to ask for help.

Hazy - what sort of dog is Molly?

Can you not walk her on a lead? Long walks to tire her out. Enquire if there is a dog training class you could go to. Even call a dog behaviourist. These things would of course involve putting the work in to the training...if you can't do it you will have to hand her into the dogs trust or a breed rescue.

She is a mongrel. I think it's been building up for a while and before Dad went to bed earlier there was more arguments and he said so I just let her bite me again and do nothing? I know i said stop punching her and he wasn't but it just came out my mouth, that's not to say what he did wasn't wrong but i apologised for saying that. My sister comes back tomorrow from her holiday which she went on for her birthday, I don't want to message her while she's in another country so will wait till tomorrow and see if she knows anyone who could take her in. I think my cousin who lost her own dog maybe 3-4 years ago might take her in, I don't know, she is a very big animal lover like me.


I shouldn't say this here but i said this tonight to him, I have an awful lot of real bitterness towards not only my Dad but most of my family and for many reasons and that's that. An awful lot of bad feeling. There's a lot of stuff that years later i'm still angry about and i don't care if i hold a grudge, that's how i feel and i feel like with Molly....obviously I love her but my family didn't treat my Mum that great when she was alive, even up until her death which came out the blue, i'm not even gonna tell you the whole story but I was close to my Mum and stuck up for her and when she passed, everyone was upset, whole community was, my Mum knew everyone my goodness, the amount that turnes up at the funeral was unbelievable, so many people. It's like we are hurting......so we'll hurt him and that was Molly. Day afterwards, family who never bothered to show up but now do regularly telling us we need to get rid of her and my Dad's looking to me and he's happy and we need to do this and that and i'm thinking of these people who wouldn't come near us just 2 days prior all of a sudden they're telling my Dad what he needs to do, my brother talking out loud just put her down, get rid of her, and i know it was all done to wind me up and get a reaction but it's like all building up for nearly 2 years now. That's how i feel anyway. Well they will get their wish. I'll do my best to rehome her, I was told tonight I need to do it on my own, nothing else will be done, it's all up to me now. I don't know anything about training or what to do, it's not a nice life locked up all day either.

I could barely talk earlier. I had a lot of emotion and he said oooh i'm not allowed to hit her and i shook my head and he lay in bed did an impression of me and i just thought why? I think i need to get a lot of it out my system before tomorrow because I think a lot's gonna be said tomorrow evening. Of course i'm the bad guy. I always am. Mum was too. I'm prepared for it.

I hear where you are coming from but I have to say I kind of agree with Soap-Lea. It sounds to me that her father regularly mistreats the poor dog.

It needs to be rehomed ASAP!

I can and I will but there's been times where we let her run about and she has a lot of energy at the local park and there's other people there with dogs and i panic and when i shout her over to come back to me sometimes she doesn't listen to me but she does listen to Dad and that's why he has always done it in the morning or i've been there with him. I can't control what happens and I don't want any dogs fighting and i don't want any other owners maybe wanting to fight with me. We have a fairly decent sized garden out front which she loves in this weather butI i don't know what makes her bark at people, we thought it was fear and she was just not sure but sometimes she can jump over the fence and follow people.


I'll see how things are tomorrow but tonight i think there is going to be a big atmosphere and it's aimed right at me. I don't know if that's right for Molly either, living in a house where one person will ignore her.

Nicola I can assure you this has happend twice only. Trust me i wouldn't allow it to be a regular thing.

Yes, you're right Molly does need to be re-homed and I do agree with what Soap-Lea said, I just don't agree with how it was said as Hazy is obviously upset.

Hazy - Molly should have been trained as a puppy. As she is now 3 years old, she can still be trained but it will be harder as she has already fallen into bad habits, therefore she will need someone of a stronger character to take control and train her. If you (or your sister) don't have the ability to do this, then she will need to go to someone else before she bites again. You can google dogs trust and rescue centres for your area, I am sure one of them will take her.

Ask your friends as well, they may know someone is looking for a dog but if you take this route then you will need to vet the prospective new owners and make sure they are suitable.

Get Molly sorted, and then get yourself sorted. It sounds like you've got quite a few things to deal with. Good Luck.

What i tried to get across was she was biting because he was lifting his hands to her. She has never bitten anyone else, only barked.

I know what you mean and I hope something can be done but at the same time, i know i'm getting the blame. i dared to stop it. I dared to stop her being checked so you have a house with 2 people and one doesn't want to do anything for Molly so I will do everything which is fine, i don't mind doing it but i don't want an atmosphere in the house either and that's how i'm thinking. I don't think this is going to blow over easily tomorrow.

Having read online about behaviourists I think i might give this a try. None of them list their cost but it's worth a try surely?

What a sad and complicated situation you're in, hazydayz. There are so many things going on here, it seems to me, and to be honest it sounds as if the best thing would be for you and Molly to get out if that situation. Your dad sounds at best depressed and at worst abusive and it sounds as if your feelings for Molly are all tied up with losing your mum, so no wonder you're hesitating about rehoming her.

I don't know how old you are, or your dad, but I can understand that you might feel responsible for him. But unless he's very elderly and infirm, managing his diabetes is up to him - I'm diabetic, above pension age and live alone apart from the cats, there are lots of us who get on with much worse things without taking it out on the pets or people around us. It might even be good for him to be faced with the reality of his behaviour. Is there somewhere you can go and stay for a while with Molly? You could really bond with her, calm her down and start training her, and give yourself a much-needed break from a very stressful situation that Molly is picking up on and that will make her anxious, defensive and badly behaved.

If not, are there relatives who'd support you in confronting your father with his bad behaviour towards Molly and you? If he's depressed from losing your mum, they and you could try and get him to get help - and I know that would be hard but it's worth a try. If he's always been abusive you're unlikely to change him by staying putting up with it - rowing with him will just make things worse. If you can't get your father to face up to the effect his behaviour, and you can't either get a place of your win because of your age or if you can't afford it, and if you don't have a relative or friend who would take Molly, then for her sake and yours, to at least reduce the friction you're having to live with, I think you have no option but to give her up before something much worse than a bitten hand happens.

Good luck with it all.

If it were me Hazy I would definately try to rehome her. I know it will be hard for you if you really love her but It sounds from what you have said that your dad has no time for Molly, she will sense this and as your dad physically chastises her she will also fear him so it's not fair on her to have to live in that environment.

It also concerns me that your garden has not been made secure enough to stop Molly from getting out into the street and into other peoples gardens.

I really think she needs a new home, that's how I feel.

It sounds like you really care about Molly and I wish you all the best Hazy...Good luck.

Excellent post...and advice.

Why not just call your cousin today. If she is an animal lover and woupd like to take her just let her go. It will be best for the dog and take a bit of pressure off everybody at home.

The 'place of your win' in my previous post should be 'place or your own', of course - saw it too late to edit.

I missed the bit about your cousin - if you have to stay living with your dad that sounds like a good solution, if you can't change things at home, especially if you could stay there too to settle her in and get a break for yourself.

This all depends if you can dog proof your garden and then put on a lot of work with your dog to make walking her easier. If that isn't possible then rehoming her may be your only option, I feel very sorry for her and you and even your Dad who sounds very depressed to me.

Whatever happens I hope you can keep yourself, your dog and your Dad safe as this is not a good situation for any of you.

What exactly does he do when he "checks" her? I assume that means telling her off? I have not heard that term before.

To be honest it sounds like neither you or your dad are capable of looking after a dog and i agree the best thing to do would be to re-home her. Being around your dad is just going to make her more aggressive and make it less likely of finding a new home for her, Take her down to the animal shelter asap,

Obviously your best option would be to look at proper fencing, train Molly and address your dad's behaviour.

However should this not happen your rehoming options are extremely limited with a dog that has bitten whether provoked or not as dogs that have never bitten are destroyed every day as homes cannot be found for them all.

We are looking at both those things now, fencing and training. I will keep you all posted on how we get on.

Good luck hazy, and don't be put off coming back many of us do care and will help if we can.

Thankyou mollipops I know that. I will keep you all updated on how we get on.

If your dog is a very agile and active they need both the exercise and stimulation or calm their behaviour. Between puppyhood and 2 years is usually the best time to train a dog. By the time 3 years come if no effective and disciplined training has occurred then their behaviour is likely to be ingrained for life. I wouldn't say the challenges are insurmountable, I just know from my own experience of having dogs they prove problematic.

Have you tried speaking to a farmer? Whilst they will default for Border Collies, they do also use mongrels for some of the leg work. Mongrels by nature are more intelligent that most breeds, it sounds to me your dog may flourish being allowed to run around large swathes of land to burn off that energy but also learn behaviour in the process.

A lot of people underestimate mixed breeds, they are the heinz 57 of the dog world. More often than not they can have several traces of different breeds. Given the hyperactive behaviour of your companion I would only assume she would fall into the more intelligent category.

I know parting with her will be horrible and traumatising, you would likely be doing her a favour if you can find a home that can let her stretch her legs.

If you think you can help with her then do so, but as I say managing and moderating the behaviour of a 3yo dog will prove testing.