Unless you are actually in a situation like that, I don't think you really know what you would do. Shock and family loyalty can do funny things to people, and then if you make an initial misjudgment then things can easily snowball, that's how I see the Beales situation, and frankly I'm glad not to have to make those kind of decisions. I don't have kids but I did help my closest friend bring up her two boys when she ended an abusive relationship, and I love them like a father would and would protect them in most situations, so I don't know what I would do but it would be hard to see one of them suffer.