*Character 1 is about to confess something*

*Character 2 interupts Character 1 and says something heartwarming/gracious to them*

*Enter hug/kiss/heart-to heart moment*

*Character 2 asks Character 1 what they were going to say*

*Character 1 decides not to reveal secret after hearing this and changes the subject/revelation*

Once they move away they are forgotten immediately - only to be mentioned if the character returns (old or new head) in the near future .

So true this happens so often you can actually see it coming.

Babies are born unexpectedly early, never overdue.

^^^^^^^^ so true

Gay couples don't move into the area. It's always a single man or woman who arrives just as one of the existing gay characters becomes single again. And they will inevitably be attracted to each other.

Happily lurrved up people have a one night stand with a local bike/slapper/bad boy - fall pregnant but instantly know who the father is, when they tell the father they are believed without any questions or demands for Dna tests.

Whoever a character is trying to avoid, will always bump into them.

If a character is having a bad time, they'll walk through the street, with everyone staring at them.

There's a whole six pages of Christmas soap cliches here

"Love..............you don't know the meaning of the word."

"What can I get ya?"

"You're barred!" (only for it to be lifted weeks later)

"How could you be so stupid?"

Yes! The "fresh start" is usually preceded by a really serious lie or omission.

Each character has every other character's phone automatically programmed in as a contact. The other day, Paul on EE was flipping through his phone and Rebecca (or Bex, but that name annoys me) was listed in his contacts. Why? They've never met to my knowledge and they really aren't even associated with the same people.

Mature male characters will regularly get involved with women at least 15 years younger than them with nobody really batting an eyelid.

When a mature woman gets with a younger male character she is branded a 'cougar' and have lots of people turn their nose up at her.

Oh yes, and in the process of doing this always jumping to the wrong conclusion about what the other person is about to say, even to the point of putting words in their mouths.

People shout their secrets- "We must never mention that you are pregnant with my child!". They tell people involved that they must never mention it and they go on about it all the time.

First of all, apologies for the long post!

There are SO many:

1.) Person: 'I've got something to tell you.'
'What?'
(Something happens like a phone call, other person answers phone, guilty look on other person's face)
'So, what was it you wanted to tell me?'
(Long pause) '... Nothing.'

2.) Everyone in the Street/Square/village/whatever must have an affair with each other at some point.

3.) Something will ALWAYS go wrong at a wedding or a funeral.

4.) My most hated one that I posted on a soap cliche thread forever ago:

When two characters who've had like one line of interaction in their entire time on the soap are all of a sudden set to have an affair, said affair shall blossom over the course of around two to three weeks with longing glances at each other that have never once occurred before ever, and the first kiss will either take place and then both parties shall feel guilty (but then kiss each other again the very next day and have sex), or they'll kiss and head straight to bed. Then we may have a period where the bit on the side feels guilty about hurting the significant other, but just can't resist being a bit on the side. And to top it all off... the bit on the side will announce they are in love with the married/taken one after about a week. They'll continue to trade sneaky glances at one another in public places in which absolutely every other person in the public place is oblivious to, even the people standing right next to the couple having the affair, and said affair will conclude with a dramatic reveal, which will usually take place in the local pub which, somewhere along the line, will result in the music being switched off.

5.) The evil grin every time a 'villain' overhears something they can use to their advantage. (Janine in Eastenders was/Tracey in Corrie is notorious for this), or the worried look on the face when a character is hugging someone they're hiding something from.

6.) A whole group of people get together for a "big night out, we'll have a massive party, wahey!" - This night out consists of going down to the local pub and nowhere else.

7.) Any relatives of well-known characters that are coming into the show must never once be mentioned until about a week before the relative turns up.

8.) Almost every pregnancy is a 'Who's the Daddy?' scenario and apparently, it only takes one sexual experience to get pregnant in soap! It seems condoms are non-existent in soap-land.

9.) Everyone always seems to work in the same street. (Corrie's particularly bad at this - does anyone on this forum live in a street where everyone else who lives in that street work in the exact same street?!)

10.) My all-time favourite - every character ever MUST have a 'dark' secret that WILL be revealed at one point.

If someone finds out they are pregnant, hasn't told anyone and is unsure of what to do... they are bombarded by babies for the next few episodes. They are shoved on their face, or asked to babysit. Or someone is speaking about how amazing it is to have a child...

Plenty of soap characters diligently use birth control. However, given all of the accidental pregnancies in soapland it appears all condoms bought in the corner shops are defective and all birth control pills are placebos.

When a character is in hospital and the doctor treating them tells the relatives what is wrong. But they give them minimum information before their pager goes off and they have to leave!

When a family moves to a soap location they come harbouring a secret that has been kept hidden many years. Within months of settling in to the new place, all the secrets are revealed.

Chance meetings is the cliche that irritates me most. Corrie is the worst for this; every episode entire scenes would not have taken place if it wasn't for characters bumping into each over (usually by Audrey's salon!).

When being informally questioned by the police, characters will waltz off mid-conversation, or say "are we done here?" to which the reply is always "for now... we'll be in touch".

King Philth.

Nuff said.

In EastEnders, it used to be commonplace for characters to express anger by being in a room on their own, and sweeping their arm across a table, mantelpiece or shelf - letting all the objects that were there smash onto the floor. Usually while shouting "arghhh!"

They don't do this as regularly now, but still drag out the old chestnut every now and then.

A female character who'said been off screen for a number of months, comes back with a large coat on. Doesn't remove it until the end of the episode and reveals that she's pregnant.

Someone lying unconscious in hospital with fraught relative outside - someone will always say to them "(S)he's a fighter"