Welcome to the main event of the year. No not the helicopter crash but me being allowed at last to start this thread. As you can tell already i will not be allowed to do another one after this so open a can grab some nuts and enjoy the madness.


A man with an orange for a head is drinking in a bar..
another man walks up to him and says "Excuse me mate, I just wondered how come you've got an orange for a head?"
The man with an orange for a head says "We'll, it's quite a story, if you buy me a pint, I'll tell you."
So the man buys 2 pints and they settle down at the bar. "A few years ago I was travelling around North Africa and the Middle East." says the man with an orange for a head, "and I found myself in this little secluded back street bazaar. I was looking at the wares on offer when I saw an old fashioned oil burning lamp. It was a little dirty so I gave it a rub, and to my surprise a genie came out. "You may have 3 wishes, anything that your heart desires." said the genie. Well, I was quite taken aback, let me tell you."
"So what did you do?" asked the man in the bar.
"Well, the first thing I wished for was £20,000,000,000 in my bank account."
"And what happened?"
"I gave the stall holder a few coins, took the lamp and rushed to the nearest bank, found a cash machine, put my card in, and couldn't believe it. My balance didn't even fit on the screen it was so big. Since then I've bought the finest cars, beautiful houses, I've even got a castle. I can afford anything, it's amazing."
"Wow, unbelievable!" Exclaimed the man in the bar "What did you wish for second?"
"Second I wished for a harem of beautiful and willing women."
"And what happened?"
"Amazing, let me tell you. In each of my houses, and in my castle, are the most beautiful women. They are so eager to please me anytime, day or night. They do things I've never even dreamed of. Brilliant."
"Ok, that sounds pretty great" says the man in the bar "what did you wish for third?"
"Third I wished I had an orange for a head."

Chris I love it

Excellent thread buddy. Totally worth the wait

Evening all, thanks for t'thread Chris. Love the joke, your campaign for Funniest Poster might finally be back on track.

Thank you. i am glad it is ok and I havent been kicked out

I love you and all my fans xx

Loved the joke. My predictions for deaths (not necessarily tonight) are, in order of probability, Pilot and Co-Pilot, Ruby, Dan, Val, Joanie, Finn and Alicia. I also predict Debbie of Pete will be (temporarily) paralysed.

Cheers for t'thread Chris I LOVE the title

Evening gang

Sooooooooo excited for tonight episode!!

Imagine if Pete has a personality transplant if he survives

The knock on the head may make him less boring

Thank you

Excellent thread Chris


I think he's a contender for best episode threadmaker as well now

Mwahahhhhhhhaaaaaaaahaha

what a thread already! Earthlings...Greetings.
I can't wait for this evenings instalment!!

Evening all and thanks for the thread Chris

A good effort for Funniest Poster there Chris

Cannot wait to see who has snuffed it tonight

I like you

I am glad it has gone well

if it hadnt I would have driven myself to Runcorn in disgrace

Evening all and thanks for the excellent thread, chris - and brilliant title too.

I've already texted Mr B to tell him he needn't bother coming back.

Meantime, I'm so excited.....and I just can't hide it.......I'm about to lose control and I think I like it. Go Emmerdale!!

Evening all. I'm feeling quite giddy with anticipation.

Fabulous work, MyHoovedHero!!

Evening All

Good evening, all.

Cheers for the thread, chrisdebag.

Fingers crossed that Marlon snuffs it!!

And that Hot Ross Buns gets out of those wet clothes, and comes to no further harm (damn you, Snoop Cainy Cain, you inbred, knitting, Elaine Paige listening, Woman's Realm subscribing, Judge Rinder viewing, flower arranging thug!!)

bib:

Surly Serf Aaron and Debola both like a man with a slow hand.

[quote=Oldnjaded;79178271]Evening all and thanks for the excellent thread, chris - and brilliant title too.

I've already texted Mr B to tell him he needn't bother coming back.



[quote=JackW;79178282]Fabulous work, MyHoovedHero!!






Thank you my lovely friends

Filth!!

Wardrobe assistant for that scene = luckiest bitch ever

super thread Chris, love the title, love the joke, you should do more threads

I think I'm even more excited about tonight than last night What's the betting we open on a dead body?

Hello All

Thanks for the thread Chris, great title.