Contenders:
Peter- because you just know Mr. Smarmy has been having secret lessons since being asked!
Jay- Boybands seem to do ok, will probably lumber through a heavy footed Jive before going on a journey and finishing with a 40/40 Ballroom.
Jamelia- will be fierce, her Tango/Paso will whip judges into a frenzy, probably won't win but consistently in the top 3. Shock bottom 2 appearance gets bounce-back vote to see her through to final!
Helen- Comes out as the complete package, my tip to win.
Kirsty- Best dancer, but some stupid members of the public/forum won't "warm to her" because she's young, talented and probably a decent dancer, so won't win. Cue outrage from people who know what they're talking about lamenting the end of Strictly as a dance contest (again).
Dark Horses:
Ainsley- Just keep shimmying!
Georgia- Bright start, fades away to mid table when energy isn't enough to earn scores! Gets awkward doing Rumba but does a good job. Consistently gets 8s without really challenging for 10s.
Anthony- Can probably dance but spends 7 weeks learning how to smile in a Foxtrot without it looking like he's the infamous clown murderer.
Iwan- Thom Evans potential, stiff hold in ballroom but will capture everyone's imagination with a sexy salsa masking obvious deficiencies of talent, but your mum likes him so you vote for him!
Middle of the road:
Carol- Good ballroom, middling to non existent Latin, but fun. More likeable Allison Hammond type.
Katie- Quiet, dignified, the idea of doing a Samba leaves her pushing Tess out of the way to grab the whiskey bottle, but nails a Foxtrot causing Len to pickle his Walnuts.
Anita- Young and bouncy but with two left feet. No shock when she's gone by week 5!
Kellie- Goes for the Jake levels of "fun", backfires, shock elimination, fury as duffer outlives her, causing voting to fall back in line with Judges' scores.
Duffers:
Daniel- I can see him doing a really nice Waltz week 1, scoring 6s and 7s, finishing mid table, then doing a Jive week 2 and it all going wrong from there...
Jeremy- Scott Mills with a dodgy hip...