EE: Shabnam's induced labour

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Scrabbler

02-09-2015

Originally Posted by Sarah04:
“I thought i would add my experiences to this.

With my youngest, at a 13 weeks scan i was told he had a 30% survival rate; and that if he survived he had a 98% of having a severe chromosomal or heart defect. I was in the maternity clinic when I found out, so they took me straight out and put me into a 'quiet' room which is like a mini living room with pictures on the wall. There was a leaflet regarding having a still born baby and that it was a separate room and away from delivery suite. The pics were almost the same as Shabnams room. Pretty bedding, sofas etc.

Before my kids, I suffered a miscarriage. I failed to miscarry properly so I had to have medical intervention. I was put with ladies who were having terminations and they all knew I was having a miscarriage. It was really awkward for me and them and I was treated insensitively.

My grandma lost a full term baby in the 1960's, she never held him. My granddad never saw him, and she was in a normal delivery suite and in a baby ward afterwards. The NHS has made major improvements in the past few decades x”

How awful for both you and your grandma. It's good to hear that you have kids now though

I hope your youngest is doing well.

SwanGirl

02-09-2015

Originally Posted by cuza:
“I had a miscarriage in the seventies when I was only 17. I was nearly 6 months pregnant so I had to go through labour just like Shabnam. It was horrendous.

Nowadays parents can hold the baby and take photos. There is counselling and support afterwards.

I got none of that. My baby was hurriedly removed and I never even saw him. I was on my own and too young and gormless to ask.

I was also put on to a post natal ward full of new mothers and their babies. They all held their babies and fed and changed them while I sat there pretending to read a magazine.

No doctor or nurse really talked to me about it. I was discharged whist sore, very emotional and with milk coming in that gave me hard, sore boobs and no advice about how to make it dry up.

A total nightmare and I still think about my lost baby to this day and wonder what he might have become.”

So sorry about your loss and what you went through. *hugs* Eerily, your experience sounds very similar to my gran's. My gran was around 7 and a half months gone, she had extremely high blood pressure and was told to rest in bed pretty much all the time. She went into labour when she was about 7 months gone, up until then she thought everything was fine but sadly when Sandra was born, she had already passed. She also didn't get to look at her daughter, she was quickly taken away and basically told by the staff 'Your daughter's dead, you've just got to get on with it!'

I think it was a day or so later that the staff nurse asked her what she was going to do about the body, my gran wanted her cremated and the nurse kicked up a fuss saying it was proper to bury the child in the circumstances. My gran lost it, totally broke down and was pretty much a shell for a long time after that. It signalled the end of her marriage and it's only recently she's started talking about her experiences.

I think stories such as hers and yours are sadly echoed by many people out there, which is why changes have been made as it's absolutely critical that no woman has to go through this in such undignified and frankly cruel circumstances. Sorry, I know I am off topic with regards to thread. Personally, I think Eastenders have done a fantastic job and the acting, particularly by Shabnam *sorry, forgotten her name* has been superb. She's obviously put a lot of time and research into this and it shows.

cas1977

03-09-2015

Originally Posted by duckylucky:
“Dont forget this is a still birth we are talking about .I think sadness would overcome embarrassment for most dads in that situation .”

I agree, sorry, I was talking just in general in a normal situation. I imagine being in that situation, I wouldn't be thinking about who was or wasn't in the room with me.....

Corstemmee

03-09-2015

Originally Posted by Keyser_Soze1:
“My deepest sympathies go out to the people on this thread who have been through such a traumatic and tragic experience and have been brave enough to post about it.

These episodes have certainly been some of the finest that EE has done in a very long time.

Very powerful stuff indeed.”

Absolutely!

alo_alo

03-09-2015

Having dealt with this, I can tell you that you do get your own room, with a private toilet and kitchen comfy chairs, nice bed ... And a nursery to place your baby in... You do give birth in that room, wash your baby in that room, Dress your baby and place them in their that elebrate crib, is cold a cold cot, You will find these in the hospital ( all thought not all) these cots are made to keep your baby cold. So after hold your child. You place your baby in her to keep her safe and to spend time with your child before the nightmare of placing your baby in a coffin and burying your child... To the op, when it comes to stillborn do you not think ee would not talk to sand or the nhs to make sure they showed the correct way of dealing with a baby who has dead?

dottzie38

03-09-2015

When I had my son the room was nice but it was stark and had no signs of anything to do with babies in it at all like a normal delivery room. The trolley with stuff to help with delivery was only brought in when needed. After his birth we were placed in a beautifully done out quite room provided by SANDS away from the main ward and crying babies. Andrew had a small Moses basket in with us and he stayed with us until we were ready to let him go. I didn't watch as even 11 years on I I don't want to be reminded of that day

I have heard a lot of great reviews though xx

sarahcs

03-09-2015

Much love to all who have had to go through this xxxx

duckylucky

03-09-2015

Much love from me too to all who had to go through it .

fayemian

03-09-2015

However sad this storyline was, if just the tiny percentage of the population of this forum is anything to go by, at least it's getting people talking. Either letting people who have had no experience of this learn something, or those who've been bereaved this way share their experience, then EE have played a blinder here.

Still birth has been a taboo far too long, in some ways understandably, it's such a painful topic for many of us to even contemplate. But those who've lost their babies should have the support to talk about their children, it shouldn't be swept under the carpet as if it's something that is shameful and should be forgotten.

bebo83

03-09-2015

I had my son in the furthest room in the labour ward. I had entonox and pethidine. In the next room i heard a lady scream in pain and then a deathly silence. I can only assume she also had a stillbirth or late miscarriage.

valtimmy

03-09-2015

Originally Posted by SwanGirl:
“We're not in the 60's anymore, I say that because my gran had to give birth to her stillborn daughter in hospital back then and she was put straight back on the maternity ward, surrounded by women with their babies. Then when one woman couldn't express milk, the nurse came and asked my gran if she could spare some of hers! *Wish I was kidding, but I am not.*

I think experiences like this have altered the way the NHS deals with stillbirths, most hospitals have birthing units and private suites set up away from the main maternity unit that do look like a home away from home. It's meant to be warm and inviting, as inviting as it can be when you're going in for such a dreadful reason.”

BIB: Yes, that was the case with my sister. She had a stillborn birth back in the 60s and what was really upsetting for her was seeing all the other mothers with their babies. It was so wrong. At least things are better nowadays!

SepangBlue

04-09-2015

Originally Posted by Hanna_Yasmin:
“How utterly insensitive are you? We aren't talking about swishy live birth experiences, but stillbirths and miscarriages.

From my experience, I miscarried and was put in a room with pregnant women. Every check up I had consequently (there were many complications) I was seen and treated at the Early Pregnancy Unit = full of excitable pregnant women. This was last year.”

Hey .. give the girl a break! We're actually talking about maternity units and delivery suites in general here, not just a specific fictitious stillbirth.

Loads of ladies have shared their personal experiences in this thread. It's clear that your own was far from being a happy one, for which I offer my condolences, but that doesn't excuse your opening comment.

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