As you say yourself, everyone has their own reaction and perception of grief. Surely this too applies to how some choose to remember and commemorate their loved ones on significant occasions? Some will make a grand gesture, others will remember quietly and more privately. There is no right or wrong and I don't believe his intention was to haul his deceased brother out for public consumption. Wherever he was and whoever he was with I'm prone to believe he would have done exactly the same to mark the anniversary.
In my opinion the end it served was doing what he felt was right at that moment in time in order to remember, honour and deal with his own grief in his own way.

Lovely, articulate post

He could of just raised a toast to his dead brother and left it at that.

And herein seems to lie the offence some people feel. Given Austin's other behaviour, particularly vis a vis Gail I no longer feel able to 'give him the benefit of the doubt'. If that offends some people then so be it. If I am indeed right it is pretty offensive. If I'm not then I hope to see some behaviour from Austin to make me eat my words and apologise but so far nothing has been approaching that ball park for me.

People should be able to do what they want to do and feel is right for them without having to be judged and criticised for it.
It's a very personal and individual thing.

There are times with my own losses I've done nothing but send out thoughts to my loved one, sat quietly reflecting, lit a candle, bought some flowers. Then there have been grander, less private gestures of releasing balloons, making a bigger deal of it. The latter certainly not being for attention ... just what felt right and appropriate for me at the time.

Agree - I find him so self righteous - he is a complete stranger to Chloe - it is a private matter for him - I think it was distasteful for him to highlight it on a reality show. I am with Chloe on this one - she behaved perfectly ok

There's no offense in having a different perspective.
To me Austin strikes me as someone who acts in the moment.

I know and I agree.
But unsure about Austin even though that sounds awful.

I agree with this.

Yes, I really agree with that. A lot of the time he's very personable, rational, seems quite intelligent. There are just these moments where he goes head first into whatever emotion he is feeling at that moment. To be fair, sometimes that's a good thing, but sometimes he lets his emotion cloud his rationality. I personally think Austin is one of the least premeditated people in there.

This is the trouble when these things occur on TV in the public eye. Everything comes under scrutiny, every breath eyed with suspicion and cynicism. People desperately looking for agenda driven motives.
Everything is fake. Bobby's sleepwalking, Gail's OCD, Gail's alopecia, Janice's allergic reaction to the bee sting, Stevi & Chloe's relationship .... all done to garner support, sympathy and votes ... the fakeness determined by how much you like a housemate or not.
I would say your perspective is more understandable than awful.

But I'm betting you didn't rope in people who are practically strangers watch you release those balloons?


No, it doesn't but me personally I don't see the point of burdening someone else with my pain and troubles especially if I don't know people well. I don't think Austin is concerned about the alcohol issue, he's just upset that Chloe didn't participate in his mourning which is ridiculous.

Thanks.

That's exactly my perception of him Blue. I think he's very emotion driven. It's not always a good thing either but it's who he is

Of course I didn't .... had I been in the BB house though or in some similar situation I'd have still done what I felt was appropriate. For me.

I honestly wouldn't see it as burdening someone else with my pain, or theirs with me but sharing as someone who understands and empathises with that person, no matter how well I know them.

But as was said before ... it's different strokes isn't it.

There was no dictating, simply a statement of fact. Your comment came across as especially offensive, moreso because it was based on nothing more than personal opinion. You ascribed ugly motives to Austin's behaviour that could not be proven, and you described it as 'sickening'. That was indefensible. And you're trying to do the same with my response, accusing me of 'dictating what's right and wrong', when all I'm actually doing is trying to make sense of your incredibly offensive post. You cannot be surprised by this. The only reason I threatened to contact the mods (besides being offended by your accusation) was because I wanted to gauge your response before deciding how to proceed. As it happens, you may not be very happy with me right now, but at least you haven't been a bitch about it.


And that is your prerogative. However, that isn't the case for everyone else, and they're free to make their own choices. Austin could have gone into the Diary Room, raised a private toast, and asked the producers not to show it, but he can't dictate what gets broadcast. He opted to do it publicly, because he felt it was the right thing to do. It was his grief, his brother. Not yours or mine, or anyone else's. His.

Great post. Within this forum, it's almost like there's an overwhelming doublethink mentality where people are attacked or called out for thinking critically or demonised for being slightly cynical about HM's actions and behaviour.

People have been known to use their issues, pain or tragedies for personal gain, let's not act like this behaviour doesn't exist. I don't see why the suggestion that some HMs might be indulging in this behaviour is met with such derision. As along the suggestion is presented as a personal opinion and not fact, i don't see the problem.

Yours is a great post too.

None of us know what to believe anymore do we, we've been so manipulated. I don't recall being cynical during the first 3 big brothers, I think it all changed after that.

That certainly appears to seem as if you feel you have the right to dictate what is right and what is not.

You seem hell bent on attempting to make this a personal issue with me. That will only get the thread pulled. As you yourself have said, others share similar to my opinion so it might be prudent to 'discuss' this with someone else. you know my opinion........................

They're not exactly strangers, they've been in constant contact for three weeks, they share beds and baths and lord knows what else. The other week I went to the funeral of a neighbour. I didn't know her well, had probably spent a cumulative total of about 5 hours in her presence, but her husband let us know when it was, they were always sweet, so we went to pay our respects.

The thing is that Austin didn't have anyone from the outside world in there on that day. He couldn't just take his close friends and family aside and share that moment with them.


I actually don't think he was burdening them with his pain and struggles. He wasn't sitting there crying into Stevi's mankini. He chose to share a positive moment with them, one where he was remembering his brother's life and what he meant to him. It was my brother's birthday last week too, and we had a nice family meal, put on some of the music he used to like and raised a glass to him. In past years I haven't always felt the strength to remember the good as well as the bad, so I personally think it was a lovely, healthy way to remember his brother.

I think Austin must have initially been ok with Chloe not being there, and they all must have to show respect by not being over the top with alcohol around her. He didn't say anything in those two days, and he's not one to hold back. I just think Chloe's excuse came off as a bit wishy washy and she didn't explain herself before that point, so I think that why he did lose his cool, which he shouldn't have, but probably knows that deep down.

Exactly. It makes it both interesting and infuriating at times

Well, if you think that 3 weeks constant contact is enough time to start expecting things/ certain gestures off people then I can only respect that is your opinion/ the way you see things.

Major props to you for attending your neighbours' funeral, that was nice of you and your husband. Alternatively if you decided not to go to your neighbour's funeral, would you find it strange and bit out of pocket if their family got mad/upset that you didn't attend.?

Austin's gesture to his brother is fine (not my cup of tea but nonetheless fine), him expecting that everyone participates or gives a valid reason for not doing so is ridiculous and controlling.

Aww thanks!!

It would appear the post I made that you multi quote in post #49 has been pulled. Whether this was because you found it in contravention of forum rules or someone else did I really wouldn't mind knowing what it was I posted that was in any breach. I've also asked the mods so anyone with any knowledge please advise me.