I have Nile Rodgers' fabulous hook deeply entrenched in my head, I look at my rounded backside with greater fondness, I am pondering my ability to spot an authentic love affair and today I said 'it is what it is'. .

I've learnt how to say Janice in Italian.

Most americans on CBB are irratating and loud.

I've learned my poor sleep is probably due to not having a naked gay man to play footsie with in bed.

When I pass wind in the bath I run around the house yelling about 'damn dirty fart juice'.

I take a mirror everywhere with me and constantly apply lip stick (this got me some strange looks at the regional scoutmasters' AGM).

And I only drink kosher wine unless just regular plonk's available.

When I get road rage I yell at people that they are "sideways ass dicklegs" instead of the more pedestrian "morons".

I now know why when I call a bloke a dickleg they smile an thank me instead of being outraged

I've learnt why white dog poo is scarce in this day and age

I've been educated as to the difference between a male and a female cow (who knew )

My life is so much richer for all the new knowledge implanted in my brain.

That is an amazing story of transformation and revelation. I'm quite moved

LOL.

My dogs do white poo once a week! lol

You need to bag it up and flog it on Ebay

[quote=Dangermoose;79655680]You need to bag it up and flog it on Ebay [/QUOTE

Under Vintage.

I have become more attuned to the Buddhist doctrine which asserts that because things are impermanent, attachment to them is futile and leads to suffering (dukkha).

Woohoo

Janice taught me how to make soldiers

I've started putting cushions down the back of my trousers.

I learned that my opinion of Americans could indeed sink lower than it already was.
I learned that comedy bums really are rather comedic
I learned that Fatman Scoop once had a hit record
I learned That Gail Porter is really funny when she's not in BB
I learned to love mankinis and all that wobble in them

But you have to call it teeth whitener or you won't get a very good price for it.................

I now revere my lady parts with fondest asking God to bless them.

I also will never look at the colour lime green without seeing Stevi in a mankini.

i've learnt that the guy who sang on the bus and stretched in the boardroom on the Apprentice is more than his edits. He is a really nice, well mannered guy who can shut up, analyse and give great advice. I think he could actually succeed in business.

I know it's cray cray but I've learnt to really appreciate my vagina.

Every night before bed I pray 'God bless my beautiful vagina'.

It's empowered me as a bad arse woman.


ETA
Damn .................just seen someone beat me to it.

One thing I still haven't learned is to read an entire thread before posting. I'm such a dick leg.

I now speak like Barry White

.....

I can no longer communicate in lower than 60 decibels. I find shouting really helps to get my point across.

I've also added dipshit to my vocabulary and use it whenever anyone annoys me. Which, as I've slashed both my attention span AND my IQ, is pretty often

I hold cigarettes awkwardly, and bash them against chairs to tap the ash off.

If I don't feel I'm getting enough attention, I shout "Oh I adooooore you!" to passing strangers.