I'd be a complete duffer (why not 'duffah'?).
Never had a dance lesson in my life; have an on/off relationship with rhythm; and have a certain amount of difficulty with the whole right/left malarkey.
However, if I were to seal a Faustian pact, or make a successful novena to Saint Jude, and ended up dancing better than other people's favourites...
Some people would be quick to point out that, throughout my formative years, I spent 6-8 weeks of each pre-Christmas period learning Scottish country dancing at school.
This rigorous dance training, alongside my failure to declare it, would no doubt be seen as definitive proof of ringah-dom.