((((((((((((((((((((((((((hoots!))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) You're back! You can have half a blooming pig if you want it........

I wondered if you had been laid low with some germ or other......been a lot of evil bugs about this winter!

Fried eggs as well?

well, since you is offering....


nom nom nom

went to grandsons`s wedding yesterday......it`s nice to get back to normal

want wholemeal bread wiv the bacon ..or is you gluten free?

catch youz after lunch

I'm not gluten free, although mini twass is.....

Just put a pot of chicken soup on to simmer....the cure for all ills!! Full of garlic and carcass. Not for Nate but tis delicous

Fancy a bowl?

No. Sounds like hoots might benefit from some Jewish medicine though

Who decided that Bowis Johnson would be the go-to person for media stories on the EU vote??

Am I the only one tired of seeing him in the news??

No, it does make you wonder how much of his own agenda is going on here.

Although it does make the Tories look like a bunch of bullies in the playground

Just been and ripped up loads of nettles which are already making their unwanted presence felt.......had any fresh air yet today?

Yes.

How many sugars (if any) do you take in hot drinks?

Good to see you back Hoots

I take 1 hermesetas in my hot drinks

and you ??

I'm sweet enough already No sugar for me.

My mother's day present of Game of Thrones season 5 is on its way!! Which box set would you like to be given?

I have never had a box set of any popular programmes

Have only had a few sets of some fitness DVD's
I would like a set on some Filling 1-200 daily calorie suggestions
with a visual way of having all the correct portion sizes

Brrrrrrrr bitterly cold and overcast now

Do you receive many local Menu leaflets put through your door ??
and when was the Last time you had any takeaway meals - delivered to your home ??

I've never had takeaway delivered here, it's too remote....I don't get takeaway menus for the same reason

Would that put you off living off the beaten track?

You are the definition of 'off grid' twass

Previous - Had Pizza Hut last Tuesday and we get an endless array of leaflets

Battered spicy red peppers with salsa & sour cream??

no Twassy
Sour cream Nate
I have got 8 tubs of Salsa yet to eat in my fridge right now

I last ordered a chinese home dellivery /selection - back in about Mid September 2008
I had a phase of ordering something nice each weekend - for a month or so

My place has been photographed each year for quite a number of years so far for
** Google's Streetview **
Does Google / Street view cameras >>>>>>>>>>>> ever go directly past your house ??

Not that I have ever noticed, there was a Streetview of my cottage done in about 2011 I think. They've not updated it so far as I know.

Ever had a raw cacao OMbar of chocolate? Mini twass sent me one for mother's day.....a coconut one!

No, we have a pedestrian bit on our estate and only pizza delivery mopeds use it

What type of butter do you buy??

Lidl's

Same question as before

No.

Drinking??

The last bargain batch was Utterly butterly =
got a 1kg tub for 19p ---------- Usually £2-50
Then I got 3 x 500g tubs @25p --- Usually £1-50

Before that - it would have been Lurpack Lurpack Lurpack - got 8 of them for 9p a block

Yummy Rice meal or Yummy Noodley meal ??

Noodles please! I've not had any for a while....are they spicy noodles?

Got piles of spicy noodles in the press In fact they are the only variety I have in currently

Do you have a library card??

I do, but it's for a library back in Norf Lahndon.

Wot's a press

Just watched the fillum of Philomena and bawled me eyes out. Those nuns were absolute c****

Ever seen it?

I don't believe so.

A press is another word for cupboard, mainly used by Irish people

Did you see the last Stewart Lee's Comedy Vehicle this week??

I didn't.......

Do you own any hiking boots?

LOL, no. I was going to direct you to Stewart's joke about Orienteering with Napalm Death though!

Do you ever nervously laugh when someone tells you a celebrity has died??

No I generally express sorrow and concern

However I know it can be a nervous reaction to bad news......

I have never Orienteered.....have you?

Yes

Are you good at reading maps??