very sad
are you going in for the saturday lotto then?

I play every lotto... I'm so unhappy with my life that checking y numbers is one of the few things I have to look forward to

Ever been in great unrelenting pain??

Only during Labour.......what was the outcome of your x Ray?

[
]Dunno....😥



Why do cats have several different sleeping spots around the house?




🏦🏦🏦🏦🏦For silentxxxxx

Dunno... they seem comfortable anywhere but I guess there are certain spots that are better for spying on humans

I'm really pissed that only now do I discover that Sisters have been performing Jihad live on their last tour!! I blames twass!!

Favourite bisquit with coffee??

Cafe Noir....well, I think that"s how you spell it



Will you do me ironing for me?

Nope I hate ironing

Crab sarnie??

Yes please, with cucumber!

Why is everything always my fault

Much rummaging in the charity shops and I have two dresses and two tops
Mini twass is the queen of charity shops, her wardrobe of cheap as chips but fabulous outfits is second to none. She puts unlikely combos together and it always works.

We plan on slummocking in our pjs tonight. How will your Friday night be spent?

I've got so much to do I don't know where to start.

Maybe I will join you in your slummocking instead, I own some pj's.

What are we going to do whilst slummocking?

Eat, drink and be merry of course

Ever tried drinking aloe Vera juice?

Er, isn't it normally a component in non-drinkable products.

Can you actually purchase aloe vera juice?

Yes, we got some today, most refreshing with big juicy bits in it.

Am I selling it to you?

You can buy Aloe Vera juice, I've never tried it though. Not my type of thing twass

Have you seen what Anonymous have done to IS Twitter accounts??

Yes! Totally brought out their feminine side

Aloe and rum then?

I'll pass thanks

Is Rick Astley really the #1 Album?? : rolleyes:

we get told some right twaddle


do you think the art of twaddle telling was learnt from this thread?

Nope, I was a master in twaddle before this

The album '50' by Rick Astley is indeed #1!!

Just trimmed a patient's beard, ever cut someone's hair??

I've cut lots of hair. I used to cut a gay Catholic priest's hair regularly in return for outrageous gossip

Most recently I cut my eldests hair, cos she's a skinflint like me.

I'm mellowing nicely a lot of gin and tortilla chips later......are you indulging yet?

I hope you don't mean neat gin, mother's ruin.

On the other hand, as a drinker of neat Scotch, who am I to talk? Anyone else like their spirits neat?

There's tonic in mine

Shots or genteel sippage?

Straight up shots

I don't like mixers... which mixer is your favourite??

Diet bru & plenty of ice

do you like a slice ?

No. Do you like an umbrella??

Dunno

Has it stopped raining yet?

Just about, but the ground outside Mimi twass's flat is puddle strewn.

Ever dreamed you are at a party where the friend you went with disappeared and you don't know anyone else and it just gets wilder and wilder?