Kate Oates can't leave soon enough.


Dammit see what DS has done to me, in the old day I would have known the name let alone care who the producer was. Now i'm a hater just like everyone else, bah.

Is it her annual 3 months away?

Kate Oates Trolling us again.

Going to blame her for everything from now on.

Kwynne has a grudge.

So every single viewer in the country then.

Morning kwynne. Yep, damp and windy here too. Hope you didn't get stuck in all the football traffic last night. I bet all those who went to the Theatre of Nightmares wished they hadn't bothered.

They are trolling this thread, they do it every episode, the only childcare we ever hear about is normally Debbie (except possibly April but that another story), we seem to need to know the wherabouts of Debbie's kids every second of the day, who is looking after them, what they are having for Breakfast everything, while we are lucky to even hear about Heath and cathy every other month.

Analysis central has obtained a secret memo from Emmerdale central

10 Step Guide to how Kate Oates builds an episode - Short version for sinple people sorry ITV Executives

1) Centre it around Ross or if he's not available Aaron

2 Ross ihas been feuding with his brother for 6 episodes but debbie is coming back so Ross's storyline must be switched to that, can't have both storylines running at the same time that would confuse the kiddywinks sorry viewers and exhaust poor Ross actor and we can't upset him can we, he's the most important character since Declan.

3) So have Pete sacrifice himself and make Ross the victim, we have been doing this successfulful for years blinding viewers (and ITV Big bigs) from seeing Aaron and Ross aren't victims.

4) So Pete goes to police and says sorry for doing the things that Ross actually did.

5) Then in case Viewers think badly of Ross we must have him in an impossibly cute scene with little April, where they tell each other things and makes Ross want to stay in the village.

6) At this point we must have other storylines, Jimmy had his stupid comedy storyline this week, has Eric shouted at someone for no reason, have had enough Jai scenes this week, they must of course be rushed abd possibly badly written so we can get back to Ross.

7) Now we have redeemed Ross we can switch the storyline to Debbie, Ross must dominate every episode and be in it for at least 10 minutes a day.

8) Before he and Debbie meet up we must give our daily report on what Debbie's kids childcare for the day, other children must be ignored but we do it to make Debbie look bad so Ross is scene in a good light while still ignoring Moses.

9) Other stories are allowed to happen but they CAN'T be allowed to overshadow Ross.

10 This used to be the bit where Donna met up with Ross but now she is gone we must have a romantic storyline for Ross and then split them up for half an episode for Drama's sake

ITV viewers and Executives are real idiots aren't they

All episodes can vary slightly from this guide but only slightly

Analysis Central thought this was an important document to reveal.

Ways how to Kill Aaron Part 39

Aaron has found out Ross and Debbie are back together and that it was Ross that shot Robert, however chheky munchkin April has snuck away and is investigating a steam roller left by the roadworks on the robblesfield road, april accidently starts it and when Aaron crosses the road without looking he is squashed to death. The roller conitnues on its way until it crashed into Debbie's House and kills Ross and Debbie who were shagging on the couch.

I've FTFY my lovely

Weekly Bulletin of The Malt Shovel

Robert Sugden has woken from the coma he suffered from his shooting a few weeks ago, he is likely to make a full recovery, he was unaware his shooter was his former lover Aaron Livesey who is now in prison awaiting trial.

Pete Barton went to police and confessed to attempting to kill his brother Ross and then leaving him for dead.

Police had a busy week because the also arrested Damien Lewis of Homeland Cottage for industrial espionage and spying for china, he stole secrets from Talk Talk and sold them to china.

An armoured van carrying money for the bank in Robblesfield was robbed of £250,000 on wednesday, police are investigating.

The Malt footbal team beat the Golden Lion from Ripon 5.0 in the North Yorks Pub Football team league.
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Oh that explains the traffic then thanks heh

Better than mine.
Morning Star.

Post of the thread

Grrrrrrrrrrr