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Username Silliness (Part 3)


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Old 17-03-2016, 10:36
Dangermoose
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Hoping my car will pass the MOT and not cost a fortune....got to get the old crate to the garage by 8.30am and it's MILES away
Adopts kneeling position and prays to the old crate Gods

Good luck
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Old 17-03-2016, 10:42
An Thropologist
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Prepare to be shocked. I love pears! Even the extra grittiness of tinned ones
*keels over in shock*
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Old 17-03-2016, 10:43
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Did you know that dog owners earn more money and have better sex lives than cat owners? It was in the papers so it must be true.
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Old 17-03-2016, 10:44
An Thropologist
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Did you know that dog owners earn more money and have better sex lives than cat owners? It was in the papers so it must be true.
Thats only because cat owners don't sh*g their pets!
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Old 17-03-2016, 10:46
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Thats only because cat owners don't sh*g their pets!
I bet they try but a sharp claw to the genitals usually dissuades them
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Old 17-03-2016, 15:21
twassington
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Pleased to report that not only did the old crate pass the MOT, I got them to pump its tyres up and check the oil and water for nuffin by doing my daft blonde bimbo act. I've perfected it a little too well over the years. Talking of the windscreen wash water, I actually said "How does it get in there? Cos I never put any in"
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Old 17-03-2016, 21:55
tk096
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Pleased to report that not only did the old crate pass the MOT, I got them to pump its tyres up and check the oil and water for nuffin by doing my daft blonde bimbo act. I've perfected it a little too well over the years. Talking of the windscreen wash water, I actually said "How does it get in there? Cos I never put any in"
Well done twass! Delighted for you.

Well that's the first day of funeral over, the viewing in the funeral home, meeting sympathisers, and the removal to the church for tomorrow's mass and burial.

It is de rigeur to comment on the corpse's appearance ("she looks lovely, god bless her") and to enquire of the principal female mourner the reason for the demise ("she broke her hip three weeks ago, and she didn't do any good after that") whilst in the background the elderly men discuss the lambing. It is priceless, and bonds the community in a beautiful way.
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Old 17-03-2016, 22:57
An Thropologist
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Well done twass! Delighted for you.

Well that's the first day of funeral over, the viewing in the funeral home, meeting sympathisers, and the removal to the church for tomorrow's mass and burial.

It is de rigeur to comment on the corpse's appearance ("she looks lovely, god bless her") and to enquire of the principal female mourner the reason for the demise ("she broke her hip three weeks ago, and she didn't do any good after that") whilst in the background the elderly men discuss the lambing. It is priceless, and bonds the community in a beautiful way.
You seem to have assimilated perfectly TK.
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Old 17-03-2016, 23:02
tk096
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You seem to have assimilated perfectly TK.

Gods help me
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Old 18-03-2016, 00:05
An Thropologist
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Well he has always taken a special interest in the Irish allegedly. Or have I got that the wrong way around.
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Old 18-03-2016, 08:10
twassington
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Well done twass! Delighted for you.

Well that's the first day of funeral over, the viewing in the funeral home, meeting sympathisers, and the removal to the church for tomorrow's mass and burial.

It is de rigeur to comment on the corpse's appearance ("she looks lovely, god bless her") and to enquire of the principal female mourner the reason for the demise ("she broke her hip three weeks ago, and she didn't do any good after that") whilst in the background the elderly men discuss the lambing. It is priceless, and bonds the community in a beautiful way.
My close friend has told me so many tales of how things go in rural Ireland. It's like a step back in time in many ways! Apparently even until recent times it was often the done thing to have the body available to view on the dining table of their own home, and literally everyone in the village [and surrounding villages] would come to pay their respects and drink gallons of tea [and talk about rural matters for hours]. Then the bottle of Irish whiskey would come out and be passed round the teacups...."Sure you'll have a drop of milk in it"
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Old 18-03-2016, 21:18
tk096
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Well he has always taken a special interest in the Irish allegedly. Or have I got that the wrong way around.
Hehe, which came first?
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Old 18-03-2016, 21:20
tk096
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My close friend has told me so many tales of how things go in rural Ireland. It's like a step back in time in many ways! Apparently even until recent times it was often the done thing to have the body available to view on the dining table of their own home, and literally everyone in the village [and surrounding villages] would come to pay their respects and drink gallons of tea [and talk about rural matters for hours]. Then the bottle of Irish whiskey would come out and be passed round the teacups...."Sure you'll have a drop of milk in it"
Finally back from burial and nice meal afterwards, undertaker has a nice pub/restaurant which is handy. Sun shone, lovely singing, everyone consoled.

Yes twass, still applies so much. A few years ago mr tk's mum was laid out on our table
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Old 18-03-2016, 21:39
twassington
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Finally back from burial and nice meal afterwards, undertaker has a nice pub/restaurant which is handy. Sun shone, lovely singing, everyone consoled.

Yes twass, still applies so much. A few years ago mr tk's mum was laid out on our table
Glad it all went well and hopefully no more funerals for you for a good long time.

IDS has quit!!! *dances round the thread*
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Old 18-03-2016, 21:47
tk096
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Glad it all went well and hopefully no more funerals for you for a good long time.

IDS has quit!!! *dances round the thread*
Thanks twass, though as good rural citizens it works out roughly 1 a week usually! Very Viking like, everyone gathering, but unless they are blood relatives you are not expected to attend every element.

Had a conversation with mr tk en route to meal, 5,000 years ago the people would have been doing much the same, the early christians sneaked all their 'new' lore into it.

New calf tonight
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Old 18-03-2016, 22:22
twassington
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Thanks twass, though as good rural citizens it works out roughly 1 a week usually! Very Viking like, everyone gathering, but unless they are blood relatives you are not expected to attend every element.

Had a conversation with mr tk en route to meal, 5,000 years ago the people would have been doing much the same, the early christians sneaked all their 'new' lore into it.

New calf tonight
We still live our lives by Pagan ways. It's just that most people don't realise it
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Old 18-03-2016, 22:23
An Thropologist
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Finally back from burial and nice meal afterwards, undertaker has a nice pub/restaurant which is handy. Sun shone, lovely singing, everyone consoled.

Yes twass, still applies so much. A few years ago mr tk's mum was laid out on our table
LMAO. Undertaker and publican - only in Ireland
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Old 18-03-2016, 22:35
tk096
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We still live our lives by Pagan ways. It's just that most people don't realise it
Oh I do, have a little trouble convincing some people
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Old 18-03-2016, 22:39
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LMAO. Undertaker and publican - only in Ireland
Can only think of one undertaker in possibly three counties who is not a publican. And he is opening a massive glamping site, importing London buses and an aeroplane
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Old 19-03-2016, 06:52
twassington
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Can only think of one undertaker in possibly three counties who is not a publican. And he is opening a massive glamping site, importing London buses and an aeroplane
A sound businessman by the sound of it
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Old 19-03-2016, 14:31
tk096
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A sound businessman by the sound of it
Hi twass, I did answer a few hours ago but it has disappeared into the ether ...

Googly it, you'll get the story, it might amuse you for a few minutes! He is an excellent undertaker too, one of his first jobs 20 years ago was looking after mr tk's dad.
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Old 19-03-2016, 14:54
twassington
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http://www.independent.ie/life/home-...-34501264.html



Having done the Cats Protection work of the day, I now have Game of Thrones season 5, my belated mother's day prezzy from my son, in my hot little hand. I shall disappear into a viewing frenzy forthwith
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Old 19-03-2016, 15:02
tk096
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http://www.independent.ie/life/home-...-34501264.html



Having done the Cats Protection work of the day, I now have Game of Thrones season 5, my belated mother's day prezzy from my son, in my hot little hand. I shall disappear into a viewing frenzy forthwith
Ooh, have a lovely afternoon!
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Old 19-03-2016, 17:47
Dangermoose
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LMAO. Undertaker and publican - only in Ireland
It makes one somewhat suspicious of the high mortality rate over there
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Old 19-03-2016, 21:38
tk096
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It makes one somewhat suspicious of the high mortality rate over there
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