That cheese on the new Waitrose advert looks scrumptious. (where's the drooling smilie when you need one).

I've actually never had a cupcake from Waitrose in my life. It's a posh shop where things are vastly over priced There's a cafe called Muffin Break in Enfield not far from where my daughter lives where you can get a great flat white and a large, freshly baked on premises cupcake in a variety of flavours for £3.50. Now that's not bad

The one that's brown and baked looking and folks are dunking stuff in it? Yes that is rather droolworthy....

Bargain...i like the cupcakes i make very tasty they are.....i also make mini loaves of frangipane which are delicious....the orange ones are lovely as are the rhubarb and almond ones....

I forgot the whole point....haven't had anything Waitrose for years but years ago they did the most delicious Tarte Au Citron.....

You recovered from your blood eagle quick!
must have been that black pudding i gave you after...

Twas but a scratch.

The black pudding would probably do more damage to me, to be honest.

Spot on! They are very ordinary uninspiring sponge with a great big swirl of sickly stuff on top. I don't know what it is. It looks and behaves like butter cream but just tastes sweet and synthetic without any of the buttery flavour of real butter cream. My Mum used to make better fairy cakes from a packet ( Viola or Viota or something). The decoration looks beautiful but very much a case of style over substance - like plastic fruit! Give me an M&S lemony swiss roll any day.

You were busy doing unspeakable things with lungs! You didn't miss much, except perhaps a photo opportunity of them on the plate!

That's the one. Sometimes the expectation of tasting something is better than the reality. I've seen many drool worthy adverts, gone out and bought the product, and have been disappointed with the taste sensation.

I'm still going to try that cheese though.

What she has failed to mention Picto is that it was made with your blood. I think that makes you a cannibal or something. Is there such a thing as autofellatio?

i love lemony swiss roll
i make a lovely one with lemon curd and whipped doubled cream CLICK HERE FOR A SLICE

Oh that looks good. I can smell it from here.

Actually there is! I just googled it. (hope my laptop doesn't need repairing for a long while).

You would need to be jolly bendy I would have thought.

Maybe an autogenous vampire.

There's many times when i've cut my finger and put it in my mouth to staunch the bleeding, so I am now immune to my own blood.

Regarding your last question, according to your internet search history you know very well that autofellatio exists, allegedly.

"jolly bendy"
maybe a few extra vertebrae would help the gentlemen....

If It didn't show that before it sure does now. Autogenous Vampire is a nicer way of describing eating ones self.

I started making swiss rolls when my mum had to go low fat they quickly became my favourite !! i want to make a passionfruit one next time i have a visitor who likes passionfruit....too big to just make for me

Mine always crack, not that that is a problem. I had forgotten they use a fatless sponge recipe - bonus.

The cracking is often because they cooked for even a minute too long. They are very precise little things!! i use a recipe from a book published in 1947 and it works every time!!!

Good Housekeeping?

BeRo!!!!
I can email it you if you want to give it a go!

Thanks. I am not promising. I haven't made a successful cake since I moved here though. I still make cake like objects but I am not sure it is worth trying anything as sophisticated as a swiss roll.

ETA Sorry I meaned thanks and YES PLEASe ( tut my manners - it comes of having one eye on Monkey World on Pick)

Good grief, I turn my back for half an hour and you lot are into murky waters. Well, murky waters and cake

well let me know if you want it!
i think the recipes i have developed are foolproof!
i tweaked and tweaked until they were as good as they could get.
if you have scales and a handheld whisk-y machine thing (no £400 artisan mixer for me unlike the rest of the Great British Bake Off thread!!!) and greaseproof paper it's cakelicious!!!

Seriously though often it's the recipes that are crap.
Mary Berry ones are useless they have no flavour...if yu use any of her recipes quadruple the flavour ingredients where it says half a lemon use two lemons etc....