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Username Silliness (Part 3)


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Old 18-11-2015, 08:13
twassington
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Cats aren't keen on bananas either!!

I also discovered cheese went well with crumpets yesterday......it melts and falls down the holes in a most satisfying manner
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Old 18-11-2015, 10:39
Picto
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Cats aren't keen on bananas either!!

I also discovered cheese went well with crumpets yesterday......it melts and falls down the holes in a most satisfying manner
The trouble with crumpets is that the base isn't resilient enough to contain viscous liquids. I toasted one the other night, slathered syrup on it, then rested it on my leg whilst I did something else.

Upon returning my attention to the crumpet I noticed all the syrup had disappeared down through the holes and onto my leg. I now have a crumpet shaped burn on my thigh.
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Old 18-11-2015, 11:51
Dangermoose
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* Todays shopping list *

Cucumber
Banana
20 more cats
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Old 18-11-2015, 12:07
Picto
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* Todays shopping list *

Cucumber
Banana
20 more cats
Taken out of context that could be construed as a very rude shopping list.
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Old 18-11-2015, 12:11
Dangermoose
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Taken out of context that could be construed as a very rude shopping list.
Nobody round here would ever do that though, would they
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Old 18-11-2015, 13:17
An Thropologist
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Taken out of context that could be construed as a very rude shopping list.
It's pretty suspect in context too.
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Old 18-11-2015, 13:37
Dangermoose
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It's pretty suspect in context too.
Only to those of you with filthy minds. Shame on you all
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Old 18-11-2015, 14:09
An Thropologist
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Cats aren't keen on bananas either!!

I also discovered cheese went well with crumpets yesterday......it melts and falls down the holes in a most satisfying manner
Yes I did quite a study of this yesterday. Smoked Feta was nice but not very successful in the melt stakes. Mozerella melted well but was a bit bland. The best was stilton by far.
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Old 18-11-2015, 14:26
Picto
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Only to those of you with filthy minds. Shame on you all
You're the one writing rude stuff.

Speaking of rude stuff.

'Eliza and Ezra rolled together into the one giggling snowball of full-figured copulation, screaming and shouting as they playfully bit and pulled at each other in a dangerous and clamorous rollercoaster coil of sexually violent rotation with Eliza’s breasts barrel-rolled across Ezra’s howling mouth and the pained frenzy of his bulbous salutation extenuating his excitement as it smacked its way into every muscle of Eliza’s body except for the otherwise central zone'.

This is taken from 'List of the Lost' which has been nominated for the Bad Sex Award (the most terrible sex scenes in modern fiction).

I suspect the regulars on this thread could compete with that.
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Old 18-11-2015, 14:31
Dangermoose
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You're the one writing rude stuff.

Speaking of rude stuff.

'Eliza and Ezra rolled together into the one giggling snowball of full-figured copulation, screaming and shouting as they playfully bit and pulled at each other in a dangerous and clamorous rollercoaster coil of sexually violent rotation with Eliza’s breasts barrel-rolled across Ezra’s howling mouth and the pained frenzy of his bulbous salutation extenuating his excitement as it smacked its way into every muscle of Eliza’s body except for the otherwise central zone'.

This is taken from 'List of the Lost' which has been nominated for the Bad Sex Award (the most terrible sex scenes in modern fiction).

I suspect the regulars on this thread could compete with that.


*Clutches planets' pearls*

Adds carrots to shopping list and heads out in to the eye of Barney, never to be seen again
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Old 18-11-2015, 14:39
Picto
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*Clutches planets' pearls*

Adds carrots to shopping list and heads out in to the eye of Barney, never to be seen again
Is that your entry for the Bad Sex Awards?
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Old 18-11-2015, 15:22
twassington
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You're the one writing rude stuff.

Speaking of rude stuff.

'Eliza and Ezra rolled together into the one giggling snowball of full-figured copulation, screaming and shouting as they playfully bit and pulled at each other in a dangerous and clamorous rollercoaster coil of sexually violent rotation with Eliza’s breasts barrel-rolled across Ezra’s howling mouth and the pained frenzy of his bulbous salutation extenuating his excitement as it smacked its way into every muscle of Eliza’s body except for the otherwise central zone'.

This is taken from 'List of the Lost' which has been nominated for the Bad Sex Award (the most terrible sex scenes in modern fiction).

I suspect the regulars on this thread could compete with that.
I could top that EASILY! It's not even erotic for gawd's sake.......

Strong mature cheddar is my crumpet melter of choice!! Picto please photograph your crumpet burn and post in here, or it didn't happen

Where IS planets?? Is she well? Have they.......................................LET HER OUT???
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Old 18-11-2015, 15:29
Picto
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How about this then.

'Her mouth was intensely ovoid, an almond mouth, of citrus crescents. And under that sling, her breasts were like young fawns, sheep frolicking in hyssop…'

From 'The Book of Numbers'.
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Old 18-11-2015, 15:39
twassington
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How about this then.

'Her mouth was intensely ovoid, an almond mouth, of citrus crescents. And under that sling, her breasts were like young fawns, sheep frolicking in hyssop…'

From 'The Book of Numbers'.
I prefer Revelations myself. All that fire and passion!! Not that I believe any of that christian stuff but I do like a flaming sword
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Old 18-11-2015, 15:43
chinchin
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*Nicks all food and cats, scarpers*
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Old 18-11-2015, 16:02
Dangermoose
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I prefer Revelations myself. All that fire and passion!! Not that I believe any of that christian stuff but I do like a flaming sword
Gas and air! Somebody! Quick!
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Old 18-11-2015, 16:12
Dangermoose
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Where IS planets?? Is she well? Have they.......................................LET HER OUT???
It's all gone very Bermuda Triangly mystery-ish.

It would be a shame for her to miss out on a share of my riches. I won a humungous prize today whilst in the Co-op. I couldn't think of any better people to share my new found wealth with .....

*Leaves one cheese & chive crisp on everyone's platter*
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Old 18-11-2015, 16:23
twassington
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Gas and air! Somebody! Quick!
I suspect your mind is as far into the gutter as my own

It's all gone very Bermuda Triangly mystery-ish.

It would be a shame for her to miss out on a share of my riches. I won a humungous prize today whilst in the Co-op. I couldn't think of any better people to share my new found wealth with .....

*Leaves one cheese & chive crisp on everyone's platter*
It was buy one get one free, wasn't it??
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Old 18-11-2015, 16:24
An Thropologist
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How about this then.

'Her mouth was intensely ovoid, an almond mouth, of citrus crescents. And under that sling, her breasts were like young fawns, sheep frolicking in hyssop…'

From 'The Book of Numbers'.
That sounds like something that has been through an on line translation app.
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Old 18-11-2015, 16:26
Dangermoose
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I suspect your mind is as far into the gutter as my own

It was buy one get one free, wasn't it??
My purity and innocence has been corrupted

No. It was a real prize
Apparently you get scanned into an auto prize draw at the checkout

Now please everyone stop with the begging letters !!!!! I knew I should have remained anonymoose
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Old 18-11-2015, 16:43
An Thropologist
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I prefer Revelations myself. All that fire and passion!! Not that I believe any of that christian stuff but I do like a flaming sword
You know what the Latin for sword is thought don't you?
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Old 18-11-2015, 16:44
An Thropologist
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Still loads of chocolate roulade left. Its in the freezer shall I whip some out to defrost
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Old 18-11-2015, 16:51
Dangermoose
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Still loads of chocolate roulade left. Its in the freezer shall I whip some out to defrost
No I'm going on hunger strike till planets returns!

(Once I've eaten my crisp)
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Old 18-11-2015, 16:54
chinchin
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*Nicks any remaining food for self, scarpers*
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Old 18-11-2015, 17:02
An Thropologist
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*Nicks any remaining food for self, scarpers*
Do you think he has that sentenced programmed into a sticky key?
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