The series!

Haven't watched it!

You really should. It helps if you don't mind blood and violence, but it's fabulously made. And some very hunky Vikings!

I will have to check it out, but I'm a bit of a panickiny drama fan. Don't mind blood and violence if it's real and gritty. I have friends who have seen it and spoke highly of it though, will have to check it out!

Unfortunately, I like my Vikings all feminine and androgynous! And I like my female vikings all strong and warrior like ! I'm a messed up individual...

i have one word for you: Lagertha

Oh boy are you in for a treat

Oh, you lovies have already sold it! Will give it a go!! Any nudity ?

not much, but then that's not a priority when looking for decent drama for me, i'm more interested in a well written script and convincing performances.

Yeah, I love that too... But androgynous men and women with their kit off? Ah, that's got to be a selling point, right?

Or else, I might do better to hide in my little corner!

Not really. The one often precludes the other.

I do find it weird that blokes on here bring it up so much though. I was having a conversation with someone here about some series or other and he mentioned an actress who appeared in it, then he mentioned something else she had been in and the only recommendation he had for this other programme was "you could see everything". This wasn't teenager it was an adult. It seemed weird that he would use it as the unique selling point to a woman.
It's almost as if people have never experienced another human naked before.

Haha, I was being quite flippant if I'm honest. I do find sex and all that a bit gratuitous these days. I know what you mean though, the person who recommended "Game of Thrones" to me did say, 'Oh, but there's tonnes of sex in it'. Which basically means it's porn with a storyline. And it's usually pretty 'vanilla' (I only recently learnt the 'slang' definition of vanilla - so I'm rather happy to use it).

I'm a bit of a funny one when it comes to sex scenes. It's not so much that I'm prude, or a Mary Whitehouse type, but I rather need a good storyline for the sex scene to mean anything or be erotic. Otherwise, it's just nude people. I never got into pornography for that reason - I was always thinking, 'Yeah, but that's unrealistic. What kinda plumber would do that? Where's the build up?!'.

I might be talking shite as I've been on the cider. Not my fault. Housemate brought it home, she's to blame. I do apologise!

I know what you mean, it's like if your priority is wanting to see naked people fair dos but then why not watch porn rather than sit through 22 hours of a drama series for one microsecond shot of a stand in's arse? it doesn't make sense to me.

Hahahahaha criticism of the plot in porn is funny "that would never happen" or
"those curtains are terrible" "have you seen the state of the pubic topiary?"

It's interesting you brought it up though cos i have had a few men here make weird comments like the one i noted earlier that made me why do you think i want to see some ladies fallulah?

I know posters have mistaken me for a bloke/gay man before, am i now giving off a butch lesbian vibe?

Hahahaha, that's men. They'll sit through twenty-two hours of drama/small-talk/mindless-conversation-about-coworkers/evil for just a hint of 'lady-garden'. They're both loveable and disgusting for that reason, rather like a cute puppy that pisses all over the carpet because they don't know better!

Although strictly male by birth, I always found it on with men that they think everyone's as interesting in genitals as they are. Good example is the whole Tinder thing. Something in their head says, "Yes, it'd be a bloody brilliant idea to show them my mushroom-shaped penis. That'll get them interested!". Unless it's attached to the end of Johnny Depp and can recite the works of Edgar Allan Poe, probably not!

My other gripe with pornography (while we're on the subject, of course), is the acting. It's just so terrible! How am I meant to be sucked into this erotic scenario when someone sounds like they're in an episode of Hollyoaks? No, ta. Mute that and invent the storyline, one really has no choice.

As for the butch lesbian vibe... Well, I didn't want to say anything, but...

In all seriousness, I have no idea what gender anyone is here. It's rather nice. A bit of enigma. You can usually guess the men though.

*shaves head laces up 22 hole Doc Martins*

Going by your first paragraph it's entirely possible the carpet in this thread might need an industrial cleaner

oh the penis shots....the weirdest one i ever got was from a potential employer ( i was freelance) sending me an email telling me he had to go to his daughter's parent teacher conference thing, with a picture of his 12/13 year old daughter attached. To be polite i answered back with all the usual "how lovely isn't she growing up fast" stuff and the reply was a big cock. I responded with "don't do that at the parent teacher conference" he then sent a stream of them (if i'd printed them off i could have made a flip book animation!). It seemed weird his opening gambit was his daughter though *makes a tense face*

I think Hollyoaks is being a little harsh Some of them could appear on Home and Away without seeming out of place or maybe an Emmerdale dream sequence?

Perhaps you could set up a business providing alternative soundtracks for porno? Better acting, better scripts .....they could discuss existentialism within a nihilistic framework whilst exploring their oral capacity.....it could be a hit within the manbun community!

HE SENT A PICTURE OF HIS DAUGHTER FIRST?! Woah... Yeah... That's, um, that's beyond strange. That's... I don't even know how to describe it. Oh, you poor dear! Admittedly, I couldn't stop laughing with the lines, "the reply was a big cock" and "could have made a flip book animation!". Oh, imagine that. Wow, that's something else. Were it not for the daughter thing, I'd have laughed intensely at your misfortune. The daughter thing just made it... Well, ****ed up!

Oh, they'd be perfect in Home & Away. I'm sure there's been some decent actors on the show, just not when I've watched it! Although I rather enjoyed it when it was on at about 5.30pm on ITV following Children's TV. By the time I moved to Australia, it was on utter crap mode. Although I'll tune in now and again to see Alf/Irene, and when someone from Prisoner Cell Block H is on.

And you've just sorted out my career woes. I think that's what I want to do now. A proper, decent storyline. Without the bad music too. I mean, you've got to know what made this little young twink delivering a pizza want to get it on with this old beardy git? Why would a young guy be concerned about this old guy's financial situation? Is this young guy secretly battling his sexuality due to a conservative upbringing?! WHY DID THEY NOT HAVE A CONVERSATION BEFORE GETTING OFF?! And WHY, oh WHY, did they decide to play awful, awful, awful music while they were getting off? And it's always just so convenient. No, it's my civic duty to sort this stuff out.

In other news, how are you enjoying your evening? Weather's nice, etc.

It's a relief you think that was weird too!!! There was absolutely no conversational bridge between the parent teacher conference with kid picture and here's my cock. I thought it was really peculiar and when i told my best mate he just laughed hysterically for about 4 hours i never got any sense out of him Every time i tried to bring it up he'd just fall about laughing.

Regarding H&A do you remember the Sally era? She was a terrible actress...oh and the headmaster guy who married Marilyn he was awful too!
Random fact: I used to live in Northbridge in Perth!

Glad to have helped with your career!! Sometimes inspiration comes from unexpected places

It's been raining since June here (except for when it snowed in December) what's it like where you are?

Oh, lordy, embarrassing as it is I do remember Sally. And the headmaster - Donald Fisher!

Oh, Northbridge! Spent many a night there. I do miss Perth immensely. Not so much Northbridge as it was rough as dogs bollocks when i was last there. Did you enjoy it? Some lovely buildings there. I'm a Fremantle boy myself, well, that's where in Perth I called home for a good eight years after living down south in Albany (I won't admit to that, usually). How long did you live in old Northbridge for?

Well, if you're talking about rain since June - you must be somewhere in the British Isles, surely? I'm back in my motherland of England again, have been since September, now living in Manchester. It's just weeing rain all over the shop, although we've had some lovely sunny days over the past few weeks!

Well that was an entertaining read You two will have to stay up into the wee small hours having intense discussions more often

Folks often get my gender wrong on DS too. A genderless nonsense username helps

Interesting regards nudity in programmes....I would never choose to watch something simply because there was sex in it. It's more that the sex and nudity is party of the story and integral to it. What I like about Vikings is, it's real. You see them going for a wee, and I recall Ragnar in the long grasses clearly taking a dump as well....you rarely see that in televised things. Sex is part of life, and to show the Vikings different take on morality it's included, also rape, but never in a gratuitous way. It was how they lived and we see it all, woven into a cracking story with great characters.

Not that I'm a massive fan or anything

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagh i wrote a long reply and then deleted it by accident

Donald Fisher!!!! That's the one well remembered! Terrible actor

I loved Perth, i lived in Randell Street which is all grass tennis courts and little white victorian houses with wrought iron balconies it was lovely! We had a lemon tree orchard in the back garden!!! *sighs and looks out at torrential rain* i also lived in Subiaco for a few months but Randell Street was my favourite. I loved Freo i used to eat at Luigi's all the time i wonder if it's still there?! I used to go to Brighton Beach before work in the mornings.....bit different to Manchester eh? *looks outside at torrential rain*

Ha i've visited Albany!!! Dog Rock!!! and the whaling station that smells utterly horrendous!!! It was miserable weater while i was there but i had a great laugh because of the company.
Happy happy times you must miss it so much

I'm north of you a couple of hours up in the durham dales just below Hadrian's wall!

hahahhahahaaa you could see EVERYthing

That's pretty much my view Twass i think the way sex and nudity is in Vikings is very different to the sexpositions in Game of Thrones where sometimes i was left wondering "it's bloody freezing why is he fully clothed and yet she's naked?"

All very valid points Twass i love that you're as enthusiastic about it as i am!!!

I meant to add if ever i'm not here and you and tk need to push forward on Vikingwatch (with Chris Packham ) do just go for it i can catch up on a late nighter!!!

Been at the doctors for hours today....i think i ought to eat some christmas pudding to keep my strength up

What a bummer, I loathe doctors. I almost never go. Are you OK or was it routine stuff??

I'm just waiting to find out if tk has seen episode 2 before we have a three way

i have to have all these tests and things every three weeks so sort of routine. I was running a bit low on the old morphine too i have enough to bathe in now

Oh my god trying to get out of my village was horrendous you need a hovercraft the fields that usually have spring wheat in are just lakes you have to drive really slowly cos the roads are like ponds and going up hill i felt like a spawning salmon leaping up a waterfall!!!

ooooo lovely nothing better than a nice three way i'd better pop my christmas pudding on i'll be needing the energy

Oh yes, I know the Victorian Houses you mean, and Subiaco is rather beautiful. That's why I like Fremantle too, it's got all the old colonial houses and they're just rather lovely. Not heard of (Papa?) Luigi's in Fremantle, but a quick Google search reveals it used to be where the Merchant is - so I know the building!

Yes, the weather's always absolutely awful in Albany, four seasons in one day. Very pretty place, but sod all to do, still enjoy going to visit my parents there though. I definitely do miss Perth/Fremantle a lot, especially as it's summer now. Doubt I'll miss it quite so much once the sun comes out here and it's winter over there!

Oh yes, Durham, I've been there! Not been to the Durham Dales though. I'm picturing it as the Derbyshire Dales with Newcastle accents and violent sheep...!


Hahahaha, Vikings having a poo and wee on television! Oh, how far we've come! It'll probably only be a matter of time before we see Ken Barlow nipping upstairs for a number two! Although I have it on good authority that old Emily Bishop often does a wee mid-scene, but they just don't draw attention to it. Apparently it was like that on 'Last of the Summer Wine' too.

Are the accents decent in 'Vikings'? Do they all sound British/Irish/Scandanavian? I'm always so appalled when there's some historical thing set in the Isles and they sound American or unconvincing. Russell Crowe was like that in 'Robin Hood'. Very unusual Nottingham accent at work there.

Not only are the Viking accents accurate they actually speak Old Norse some of the time. Also, the Brits are all British sounding and speak some Anglo Saxon. Just gives you a flavour of the times You'll see

As I drove through surrounding villages earlier the Stour has burst its banks at Fordwich, which means the Nailbourne will be next and Littlebourne will be under water So grateful I live halfway up a hill. It would take a Biblical style flood to put me underwater I feel very sorry for those affected by the floods.

Actually....we've not heard from Moose in a bit....could she have been flooded out ??