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The Wonky Weekend Hollyoaks Thread


View Poll Results: What is your 'favourite' Hollyoaks cliche?
Maxine and Dazzle back together before instantly splitting 0 0%
Phones go missing at convienient times 1 9.09%
The wrong person gets arrested 4 36.36%
The McQueen's have no money worries despite only Celine working 2 18.18%
Babies are forgotten 4 36.36%
The Nightingale's boring back story 0 0%
Voters: 11. You can't vote on this poll right now - are you signed in?

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Old 07-11-2015, 12:37
DJ Jimmy
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Afternoon all

It's been another action packed week in the village and here's what's coming up soon.

This Week

Stonewall must have been stoned

More festive incest to enjoy over Christmas

Lisa/Sonia/Sonia/Lisa's bare faced cheek over Theresa's sexy snaps

I'm not sure if this is old news but something you may have seen before involving Maxine and Patrick part 240353483

The McQueen's rally round Mercedes

PC Plank does something shit.

Spoilers

Monday 9th November - 7pm - E4

The world's most pathetic police 'force' at Bigamy Cunningham-Savage 'Mystery Man' Nightingale's house. Holly isn't so jolly when she remembers that a video of Righteous Robbie declaring his love for her is on our dear departed Snuggles' laptop. She want's Robbie to find the laptop before his boring bruvva does.

Later, Boring Ben Bradley the Boring Bastard talked to Charlie who, thanks to a mix of shit storytelling and lies from Lindsey 'Butcher' 'Butterface' Butterfield' tells the crappy copper that Trevor killed the dishy doctor.

Later, Grace is off her face, and bores Esther into helping her with Curtis. However, knowing that Charlie is the new witness against Trevor, she kidnaps Charlie, who's not too unhappy about it, as he hasn't been kidnapped since 2009.

Meanwhile Lisa/Sonia/Sonia/Lisa knows about Tarty Theresa's photos and steals a USB stick of the saucy snaps, but 'toges magotes' Shaun tracks her down and Zack hears what's going on.

John-Paul clears his locker and hopes Harry changes his mind about his lies, but finds out that it's hard to change the mind of someone who clearly has no working brain.

Tuesday 10th November - 7pm - E4

Grace interrogates Charlie but Lindsey 'Injector Gadget' is there to silence her with what looks like a half rusty anchor of some sorts

Robbie/Jason/Holly crappity crap crap

Tony tells his robotic son to make a decision about upgrading his future, while they finally remember Ste has HIV as he tells John-Paul 'Doormat' McQueen that he needs to go on medication. Then there's some drivel involving the four of them.

Wednesday 11th November - 7pm - E4

***POLICE SPECIAL!!***

Boring tells No Pube that they need to examine the bodies that Lindsey culled, which means opening Rick the Prick's grave.

No Pube is such a caring boyfriend to Holly so he asks her to find the gun that was used to shoot Phoebe. Holly finds it, and isn't very jolly when Boring arrives.

Meanwhile, Ste tells Harry about his CD4 count. Harry doesn't compute, but Ste later turns up to Harry's 18th birthday party.

Elsewhere, Mercedes is overwhelmed with details for her son's funeral tomorrow. Theresa makes a call asking someone to come home. Thankfully it's not Vincent or someone equally as bad.

Thursday 12th November - 7pm - E4

Mercedes wants the world to stop so that she doesn't have to deal with Gabriel's funeral. The McQueens gather at the church and Mercedes carries her son's coffin down the aisle. She listens to the music and looks at the flowers, but this isn't the funeral she wanted for her baby boy. Her family is worried when she walks out of the church, but Mercedes walks straight into Myra.

Soon afterwards, they all head home and Mercedes is overwhelmed to see the rest of her family have organised the perfect goodbye for Gabriel.

Later, Joe returns from Canada, disappointed that Sandy wasn't there and that instead of wasting money going halfway across the globe, he could have gone to East London to see her instead.

Cleo later tries to put the brakes on Reenie and Pete's wedding.

That's all for now

Poll is up too, OK, not all of them are cliche's but you get the idea
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Old 07-11-2015, 13:12
srhgts
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Hello Wonky.
I opted for the poll option that pisses me off the least, the missing phone one. Still annoying but anything's better than the wrong person always being arrested.
Thanks for the spoilers, the Mercy stuff sounds good.
LOL your description of Mac, brilliant. I also lolled at "injector gadget."
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Old 07-11-2015, 13:16
attitude99
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Hey Wonky

Love the spoilers aha!

Voted for the babies go missing in the poll, but we all know where they are until they're needed, in Diane and Frankies drawers
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Old 07-11-2015, 14:32
DJ Jimmy
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Hello Wonky.
I opted for the poll option that pisses me off the least, the missing phone one. Still annoying but anything's better than the wrong person always being arrested.
Thanks for the spoilers, the Mercy stuff sounds good.
LOL your description of Mac, brilliant. I also lolled at "injector gadget."
Afternoon Daffy How are you?

To be honest, I couldn't think of a decent poll this week so that had to do.

Yeah, the Mercedes bits will be the best probably. Most of the rest looks awful. Thanks for the lols, I was actually quite proud of 'Injector Gadget' myself actually!

Hey Wonky

Love the spoilers aha!

Voted for the babies go missing in the poll, but we all know where they are until they're needed, in Diane and Frankies drawers
Hey Bob!

No probs. By the way have either of you been on www.welovehollyoaks.com before? Sadly, it hasn't been updated in a few years, but it was such a hilarious website, the perfect way to waste a few hours
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Old 07-11-2015, 14:40
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Also folks, a new one for this weeks edition:

Ever wondered who should **** off the most? Well wonder no more! Here's who the daily threads this week have been telling who to **** off this week.

1. Jason 5 (No Pube x4) / (Jason x1)
2. Nightingales (4)
3= Harry (3)
3= Alfie (3)
5= Lockie (2)
5= Lisa (2)
5= Kyle 2 (40 Year Old Teen x2)
8= Hollyoaks Rozzers (1)
8= Tony (1)
8= Miss St. Clare 1 (Matt Lucas x1)
8= Robbie (1)
8= Nico (1)
8= Ben (1)
8= Shaun 1 (Photo Prick x1)
8= DI Thorpe (1)
8= John-Paul (1)
Amounts of **** off's over the weeks in brackets, names in brackets are the nicknames of the characters. (e.g. **** off No Pube was said 4 times, **** off Jason was said once.)
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Old 07-11-2015, 15:40
attitude99
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Hey Bob!

No probs. By the way have either of you been on www.welovehollyoaks.com before? Sadly, it hasn't been updated in a few years, but it was such a hilarious website, the perfect way to waste a few hours
No I haven't but clicked on it and was being all nostalgic about it when I used to look forward to Hollyoaks
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Old 07-11-2015, 17:40
Bona drag
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Afternoon Daffy How are you?

To be honest, I couldn't think of a decent poll this week so that had to do.

Yeah, the Mercedes bits will be the best probably. Most of the rest looks awful. Thanks for the lols, I was actually quite proud of 'Injector Gadget' myself actually!



Hey Bob!

No probs. By the way have either of you been on www.welovehollyoaks.com before? Sadly, it hasn't been updated in a few years, but it was such a hilarious website, the perfect way to waste a few hours

Thanks for sharing I used to enjoy reading the low culture forums particulary the lolyoaks thread
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Old 07-11-2015, 17:42
Bona drag
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Has anyone read the new digiguide spoilers?

Spoiler
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Old 07-11-2015, 17:47
attitude99
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Has anyone read the new digiguide spoilers?

Spoiler
WHAT. THE. FCUK.
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Old 07-11-2015, 17:57
Bona drag
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My feelings exactly You can read all the spoliers here;

Spoiler
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Old 07-11-2015, 18:03
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Sienna kidnapped Charlie a few years ago, so not even 2009 lol
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Old 07-11-2015, 18:06
qwertye
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My feelings exactly You can read all the spoliers here;

Spoiler
This is literally the WORST set of spoilers I've ever seen
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Old 07-11-2015, 18:13
Bona drag
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Sienna kidnapped Charlie a few years ago, so not even 2009 lol
Two years is still pretty good going

This is literally the WORST set of spoilers I've ever seen
It looks dire, I swear they just pull characters names out of a hat and match them with random storylines.The rest is just repetitive rubbish.
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Old 07-11-2015, 19:59
DJ Jimmy
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Sienna kidnapped Charlie a few years ago, so not even 2009 lol
Oops I forgot about that, I was thinking about when Jake kidnapped him.
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Old 07-11-2015, 20:48
srhgts
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Afternoon Daffy How are you?

To be honest, I couldn't think of a decent poll this week so that had to do.

Yeah, the Mercedes bits will be the best probably. Most of the rest looks awful. Thanks for the lols, I was actually quite proud of 'Injector Gadget' myself actually!

Hey Bob!

No probs. By the way have either of you been on www.welovehollyoaks.com before? Sadly, it hasn't been updated in a few years, but it was such a hilarious website, the perfect way to waste a few hours
Hey. I'm still feeling a bit under the weather and doing a lot of sleeping, but otherwise ok. Being driven out of my mind by firework noise though, I swear I live in the worst area for them ever. We always get 3 major nights of it every year, plus smaller stuff either side. It's so loud my house is literally shaking. We put the cats out hours ago to do the loo etc so they'd be back in in plenty time... except Morrissey isn't. We're getting a bit frantic with worry now.
How are things with you?

Aww, it's not that bad!

It does really, ugh... I'm particularly perturbed by the Nancy/Grace spoilers... Wtf?
Heh aww, that really is funny. We need to make it a "thing."

I've never seen/heard of that before, I'll give it a read. No wonder it's been given up on really, given how crap the show's gone.
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Old 07-11-2015, 21:58
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My feelings exactly You can read all the spoliers here;

Spoiler
So much to come next thing BK could set up Peri kisses Nico and have a few grape bars in the village.
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Old 07-11-2015, 23:08
attitude99
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My feelings exactly You can read all the spoliers here;

Spoiler
Thanks for these. What a week of shite that looks like
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Old 07-11-2015, 23:25
DJ Jimmy
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Hey. I'm still feeling a bit under the weather and doing a lot of sleeping, but otherwise ok. Being driven out of my mind by firework noise though, I swear I live in the worst area for them ever. We always get 3 major nights of it every year, plus smaller stuff either side. It's so loud my house is literally shaking. We put the cats out hours ago to do the loo etc so they'd be back in in plenty time... except Morrissey isn't. We're getting a bit frantic with worry now.
How are things with you?

Aww, it's not that bad!

It does really, ugh... I'm particularly perturbed by the Nancy/Grace spoilers... Wtf?
Heh aww, that really is funny. We need to make it a "thing."

I've never seen/heard of that before, I'll give it a read. No wonder it's been given up on really, given how crap the show's gone.
Hey Daffy, that's not good still, I bet you're not sleeping as much as my cat
That's awful that your house is shaking from the fireworks, is Morrissey back yet?

It's been a funny old day really. I had to call an ambulance for a friend earlier, I think he's had a minor stroke, but the hospital have discharged him with very little help.

Yeah, its a shame that the show has fell apart. But funny enough, the main reason why welovehollyoaks stopped updating was because the main writer got poached by the main Hollyoaks website!

I like messing around with the spoilers for the round up, but it only really works when I've got something interesting to write about. It's surprisingly difficult to take the piss out of something that is really boring.

As for Nancy/Grace/Darren. Why? How? What is the ****ing point?
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Old 07-11-2015, 23:29
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My feelings exactly You can read all the spoliers here;

Spoiler
This could FINALLY be the week I wash my hands with watching the show. What a load of old ****
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Old 07-11-2015, 23:32
attitude99
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This could FINALLY be the week I wash my hands with watching the show. What a load of old ****
Last nights E4 was very, very testing
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Old 07-11-2015, 23:55
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Hello all

Love the round up Wonky

As for that Esther/Grace/Darren spoiler what the ****ing ****ery ****? Can this show get any more ridiculous? The answer is yes.

I'm seriously considering giving up watching before I endure this crap.
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Old 08-11-2015, 00:04
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Hello all

Love the round up Wonky

As for that Esther/Grace/Darren spoiler what the ****ing ****ery ****? Can this show get any more ridiculous? The answer is yes.

I'm seriously considering giving up watching before I endure this crap.
Hello cfc hope your well and your day gone great

Spoiler


It sounds like Trevor going to be leaving so this silly Esther/Grace/Darren stuff can go forward.
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Old 08-11-2015, 00:15
cfc86
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Hello cfc hope your well and your day gone great

Spoiler


It sounds like Trevor going to be leaving so this silly Esther/Grace/Darren stuff can go forward.
Hi Skyfall Been okay. How was your day?

It seems so. I just don't understand how these people think some of the storylines are great.
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Old 08-11-2015, 00:16
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I hope they don't turn the revealing Pete to the whole village silly.
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Old 08-11-2015, 00:19
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Hi Skyfall Been okay. How was your day?

It seems so. I just don't understand how these people think some of the storylines are great.
Doing well thanks day been okay.

Esther falling for Grace is one thing but Darren and Grace they hate each other they won't last long. Some people thought Esther and Grace would've made a good couple instead of Kim and Esther.
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