This will be starting at 8pm.
Hope you can balance your botanical baking and your luscious locomotives.
Hope you can balance your botanical baking and your luscious locomotives.
Decisions VII - Through the Looking Glass
27 of 29
After a nine-month break, giving them plenty of training time to bring together the perfect mixture of dance, entertainment and Mitchness, please welcome out finalists...
There'll be two stages to this final, because what you all really need is for it to be more drawn out, so here are our couples' first three dances...
MISSY & PASHA KOVALEV
RAPUNZEL & KEVIN CLIFTON
THOMAS THE TANK ENGINE & OLA JORDAN
RAPUNZEL & KEVIN CLIFTON
THOMAS THE TANK ENGINE & OLA JORDAN
There'll be two stages to this final, because what you all really need is for it to be more drawn out, so here are our couples' first three dances...
Originally Posted by StigOfTheKrump:
“-dusts off jacket- -clears throat-
DOWN WITH TRAINS. Thank you.”
“-dusts off jacket- -clears throat-
DOWN WITH TRAINS. Thank you.”
Originally Posted by pothuthic:
“Ready to stand in the corner clapping with pure proudness at my students”
“Ready to stand in the corner clapping with pure proudness at my students”
Let's hope so.
Sabotage Round
1) Thomas the Tank Engine and Ola Jordan
Viennese Waltz to ‘My Neck, My Back (Thomas The Tank Engine Theme)’ (Khia)
2) Rapunzel and Kevin Clifton
Waltz to ‘S&M’ (Rihanna)
3) Missy and Pasha Kovalev
Jive to ‘The Millennium Prayer’ (Cliff Richard)
Previously Unlearnt Dance
1) Thomas the Tank Engine and Ola Jordan
Quickstep to‘Boogie Woogie Choo Choo Train’ (The Tractors)
2) Rapunzel and Kevin Clifton
Rumba to ‘Pretty Hurts’ (Beyonce)
3) Missy and Pasha Kovalev
Viennese Waltz to ‘Midsummer Waltz’ (Stepford Wives)
Mitch Round
1) Thomas the Tank Engine and Ola Jordan
'Locomotion' (Kylie Minogue)
What happens when you have a train and Ola Jordan doing a dance to the locomotion? This is what happens.
Ola gets inside of Thomas (Ooh la la), Thomas suddenly grows wings (thanks Red Bull!) and flys around the world!
First up is France! Ola climbs the Eiffel Tower whilst Thomas does the can can outside the Louvre, Mitchell (who is the proud owner of a Disneyland Paris annual pass) waves on, Fred Sirieix from First Dates walks inand offers them a table, they have a basic date and decide not to see eachother again.
They then fly to Holland and both go to a cafe that is NOT IN THE RED LIGHT DISTRCT. DONT WANT TO BE SUED AGAIN.
They then fly to Italy and go down the river in a gondola, before being ambushed by the Go Compare Man, just cos.
Off to America where they take part in a line dance partner! They both swing lassos and are joined by Claire, H, Faye, Lee and Lisa from Steps who dance to 5, 6, 7, 8
Over to Argentina to dance the Argentine tango! Lionel Messi even joins in!
They fly back to London to do the Lambeth Walk! (Whilst trying to escape James Jordan's ego).
Thomas then finds love with the orient express and Thomas takes the Orient Express up town. (saucy)
2) Rapunzel and Kevin Clifton
'Do the Conga' (Black Lace)
Rapunzel and Kevin take on this fast paced dance based on the famous childrens book 'The Hungry Hungry Catapillar'
The routine sees Rapunzel feed Kevin from Grimsby all sorts of dishes and throughout the routine he expands and expands and expands!
First up Rapunzel feeds Kevin an Apple Crumble with Chips, because, well.
Then Rapunzel decides to make Kevin eat a bacon sandwich, cor I love a Bacon Sandwich.
Rapunzel then gets a bit adventureous and feeds Kevin a chilli con carne, now if you know Kevin Clifton, you will know that he has flatulence problems (LEGAL DISCLAIMER: THIS IS NOT NECESSARILY TRUE, PLEASE DON'T SUE ME KEVIN, I VOTED FOR YOU AND SUSANNA AND YOU AND KELLIE AND KAREN AND JEREMY.)
Kevin does a massive fart and a cloud of green air enters the studio, on top of the cloud is the king of the fart cloud (played by Nigel Havers), he slides down the pole of the fart cloud and kidnaps Rapunzel! Oh no!!!!!!!
Kevin then walks accross the road from Elstree Studios to the lovely McDonalds (where Mitchell once saw a mad woman wearing a 'Cat In The Hat' hat and shouting abuse at someone, true story) and buys a big mac meal, before realising that he is supposed to be dancing!
The McDonalds staff and all the guests (Except for one cashier who wasn't told about it cos its ****ing funny not to tell him, he is played by Nigel Havers) all get up on the tables and counters and do a jive (LEGAL DISCLAIMER, MCDONALDS STAFF DO NOT STAND ON FURNITURE, PLEASE DON'T SUE ME, I LOVE YOUR MOZARELLA STICKS)
They all then conga back into the Strictly studio
The King of the Fart Cloud releases Rapunzel, but where is Kevin? He has turned into a cacoon! (a duvet cover or paper mache, haven't decided yet).
Whats that coming over the hill?! Its Cher! She is doing her impression of Mother Gothel (canny right) and tries to convince Rapunzel that Kevin is no good for her.
This is when Kevin bursts out of his cacoon dressed as a butterfly! A beautiful Grimsby butterfly!
Kevin does a wolf whistle, Joanne, Karen, Judy and Keith Clifton all fly from above dressed as butterflys, they all land and they all do the conga before doing jazz hands and ending the routine.
3) Missy and Pasha Kovalev
'Man! I Feel Like a Woman' (Shania Twain)
The routine starts off with Pasha Kovalev dancing with John Simm.
As the routine goes on, slowly you'll see the Masters transformation from Master to Missy.
The Routine will feature 6 main plot twists.
The first is Master gets attacked by someone working as a Job Seekers Allowance advisor, stating he filled his form in wrong. Master has to dodge the flying Job Seekers forms, the Job Seeker Advisor (called Kevin) will be played by Nigel Havers.
The second is all of a sudden THE ZYGONS ATTACK! Master has to avoid the ZYGONSSSS doing the can can whilst throwing cans of coke at the audience members, teach them to get there at 1am to get a front row seat.
The third is a massive can of Lilt is brought onto the stage and someone drops a Mento in there :O as you can imagine it is all going frantic, but prepare for it to get even franticer as CHIEF ZYGON played by Nigel Havers pops out of the can of Lilt and starts dancing to I Wanna Rock and Roll All Nite before being shot at by Pasha Kovalev, now wearing a leotard with Peppa Pig on it, donated by Laura, aged 4 and a half.
When we thought things couldn't get worse things somehow become franticerer to the third massive challenge, obsitcle 4 is a massive one, Channel 4 (represented by Nigel Havers dressed as a number 4) come on and try to poach Missy to host Bake Off alongside Jon Culshaw! Four (get it! 4!!) men and 4 women dressed as Alan Carr come on and dance to 'Pink Elephants On Parade' cos why the **** not?
If you thought battle 4 was massive, wait til you see battle 5, 5 older gentleman (all played by Nigel Havers via holograms) come on and beg Missy to teach them how to play Pokemon Go, Missy teaches them but all 5 gentleman fall in a lake trying to catch a Nicki Minaj pokemon!
Battle 6 is the most frantic of the frantic frantisies, even more franticer than the franticerer battle in battle 6, Missy has her toughest challenge yet! All of a sudden Damahepa and Nigel Havers take over the stage to perform a 3 hour version of Hamlet!!! Missy finally admits defeat and goes and signs up for The Jump.
Marking Template:
Unlearnt Dance
Thomas and Ola -
Rapunzel and Kevin -
Missy and Pasha -
Sabotage
Thomas and Ola -
Rapunzel and Kevin -
Missy and Pasha -
Round of Mitch
Thomas and Ola -
Rapunzel and Kevin -
Missy and Pasha -
1) Thomas the Tank Engine and Ola Jordan
Viennese Waltz to ‘My Neck, My Back (Thomas The Tank Engine Theme)’ (Khia)
2) Rapunzel and Kevin Clifton
Waltz to ‘S&M’ (Rihanna)
3) Missy and Pasha Kovalev
Jive to ‘The Millennium Prayer’ (Cliff Richard)
Previously Unlearnt Dance
1) Thomas the Tank Engine and Ola Jordan
Quickstep to‘Boogie Woogie Choo Choo Train’ (The Tractors)
2) Rapunzel and Kevin Clifton
Rumba to ‘Pretty Hurts’ (Beyonce)
3) Missy and Pasha Kovalev
Viennese Waltz to ‘Midsummer Waltz’ (Stepford Wives)
Mitch Round
1) Thomas the Tank Engine and Ola Jordan
'Locomotion' (Kylie Minogue)
What happens when you have a train and Ola Jordan doing a dance to the locomotion? This is what happens.
Ola gets inside of Thomas (Ooh la la), Thomas suddenly grows wings (thanks Red Bull!) and flys around the world!
First up is France! Ola climbs the Eiffel Tower whilst Thomas does the can can outside the Louvre, Mitchell (who is the proud owner of a Disneyland Paris annual pass) waves on, Fred Sirieix from First Dates walks inand offers them a table, they have a basic date and decide not to see eachother again.
They then fly to Holland and both go to a cafe that is NOT IN THE RED LIGHT DISTRCT. DONT WANT TO BE SUED AGAIN.
They then fly to Italy and go down the river in a gondola, before being ambushed by the Go Compare Man, just cos.
Off to America where they take part in a line dance partner! They both swing lassos and are joined by Claire, H, Faye, Lee and Lisa from Steps who dance to 5, 6, 7, 8
Over to Argentina to dance the Argentine tango! Lionel Messi even joins in!
They fly back to London to do the Lambeth Walk! (Whilst trying to escape James Jordan's ego).
Thomas then finds love with the orient express and Thomas takes the Orient Express up town. (saucy)
2) Rapunzel and Kevin Clifton
'Do the Conga' (Black Lace)
Rapunzel and Kevin take on this fast paced dance based on the famous childrens book 'The Hungry Hungry Catapillar'
The routine sees Rapunzel feed Kevin from Grimsby all sorts of dishes and throughout the routine he expands and expands and expands!
First up Rapunzel feeds Kevin an Apple Crumble with Chips, because, well.
Then Rapunzel decides to make Kevin eat a bacon sandwich, cor I love a Bacon Sandwich.
Rapunzel then gets a bit adventureous and feeds Kevin a chilli con carne, now if you know Kevin Clifton, you will know that he has flatulence problems (LEGAL DISCLAIMER: THIS IS NOT NECESSARILY TRUE, PLEASE DON'T SUE ME KEVIN, I VOTED FOR YOU AND SUSANNA AND YOU AND KELLIE AND KAREN AND JEREMY.)
Kevin does a massive fart and a cloud of green air enters the studio, on top of the cloud is the king of the fart cloud (played by Nigel Havers), he slides down the pole of the fart cloud and kidnaps Rapunzel! Oh no!!!!!!!
Kevin then walks accross the road from Elstree Studios to the lovely McDonalds (where Mitchell once saw a mad woman wearing a 'Cat In The Hat' hat and shouting abuse at someone, true story) and buys a big mac meal, before realising that he is supposed to be dancing!
The McDonalds staff and all the guests (Except for one cashier who wasn't told about it cos its ****ing funny not to tell him, he is played by Nigel Havers) all get up on the tables and counters and do a jive (LEGAL DISCLAIMER, MCDONALDS STAFF DO NOT STAND ON FURNITURE, PLEASE DON'T SUE ME, I LOVE YOUR MOZARELLA STICKS)
They all then conga back into the Strictly studio
The King of the Fart Cloud releases Rapunzel, but where is Kevin? He has turned into a cacoon! (a duvet cover or paper mache, haven't decided yet).
Whats that coming over the hill?! Its Cher! She is doing her impression of Mother Gothel (canny right) and tries to convince Rapunzel that Kevin is no good for her.
This is when Kevin bursts out of his cacoon dressed as a butterfly! A beautiful Grimsby butterfly!
Kevin does a wolf whistle, Joanne, Karen, Judy and Keith Clifton all fly from above dressed as butterflys, they all land and they all do the conga before doing jazz hands and ending the routine.
3) Missy and Pasha Kovalev
'Man! I Feel Like a Woman' (Shania Twain)
The routine starts off with Pasha Kovalev dancing with John Simm.
As the routine goes on, slowly you'll see the Masters transformation from Master to Missy.
The Routine will feature 6 main plot twists.
The first is Master gets attacked by someone working as a Job Seekers Allowance advisor, stating he filled his form in wrong. Master has to dodge the flying Job Seekers forms, the Job Seeker Advisor (called Kevin) will be played by Nigel Havers.
The second is all of a sudden THE ZYGONS ATTACK! Master has to avoid the ZYGONSSSS doing the can can whilst throwing cans of coke at the audience members, teach them to get there at 1am to get a front row seat.
The third is a massive can of Lilt is brought onto the stage and someone drops a Mento in there :O as you can imagine it is all going frantic, but prepare for it to get even franticer as CHIEF ZYGON played by Nigel Havers pops out of the can of Lilt and starts dancing to I Wanna Rock and Roll All Nite before being shot at by Pasha Kovalev, now wearing a leotard with Peppa Pig on it, donated by Laura, aged 4 and a half.
When we thought things couldn't get worse things somehow become franticerer to the third massive challenge, obsitcle 4 is a massive one, Channel 4 (represented by Nigel Havers dressed as a number 4) come on and try to poach Missy to host Bake Off alongside Jon Culshaw! Four (get it! 4!!) men and 4 women dressed as Alan Carr come on and dance to 'Pink Elephants On Parade' cos why the **** not?
If you thought battle 4 was massive, wait til you see battle 5, 5 older gentleman (all played by Nigel Havers via holograms) come on and beg Missy to teach them how to play Pokemon Go, Missy teaches them but all 5 gentleman fall in a lake trying to catch a Nicki Minaj pokemon!
Battle 6 is the most frantic of the frantic frantisies, even more franticer than the franticerer battle in battle 6, Missy has her toughest challenge yet! All of a sudden Damahepa and Nigel Havers take over the stage to perform a 3 hour version of Hamlet!!! Missy finally admits defeat and goes and signs up for The Jump.
Marking Template:
Unlearnt Dance
Thomas and Ola -
Rapunzel and Kevin -
Missy and Pasha -
Sabotage
Thomas and Ola -
Rapunzel and Kevin -
Missy and Pasha -
Round of Mitch
Thomas and Ola -
Rapunzel and Kevin -
Missy and Pasha -
Marking Template:
Unlearnt Dance
Thomas and Ola - 9
Rapunzel and Kevin - 10
Missy and Pasha - 10
Sabotage
Thomas and Ola - 10
Rapunzel and Kevin - 10
Missy and Pasha - 8
Round of Mitch
Thomas and Ola - 9
Rapunzel and Kevin - 10
Missy and Pasha - 9
Unlearnt Dance
Thomas and Ola - 9
Rapunzel and Kevin - 10
Missy and Pasha - 10
Sabotage
Thomas and Ola - 10
Rapunzel and Kevin - 10
Missy and Pasha - 8
Round of Mitch
Thomas and Ola - 9
Rapunzel and Kevin - 10
Missy and Pasha - 9
I mean if all my routines aren't perfect 40's then I don't know what is! (Yes I am proud of turning the Cliftons into beautiful butterflies)
Marking Template:
Unlearnt Dance
Thomas and Ola - 10
Rapunzel and Kevin - 10
Missy and Pasha - 9
Sabotage
Thomas and Ola - 10
Rapunzel and Kevin - 9
Missy and Pasha - 8
Round of Mitch
Thomas and Ola - 10
Rapunzel and Kevin - 10
Missy and Pasha - 10
Unlearnt Dance
Thomas and Ola - 10
Rapunzel and Kevin - 10
Missy and Pasha - 9
Sabotage
Thomas and Ola - 10
Rapunzel and Kevin - 9
Missy and Pasha - 8
Round of Mitch
Thomas and Ola - 10
Rapunzel and Kevin - 10
Missy and Pasha - 10
Izz missed out a big detail
On the flight home (his wings fell off lulz, Luke gets in Thomas' face and shouts at him for being a train and not having hips.
On the flight home (his wings fell off lulz, Luke gets in Thomas' face and shouts at him for being a train and not having hips.
Unlearnt Dance
Thomas and Ola - 6
Rapunzel and Kevin - 9
Missy and Pasha - 10
Sabotage
Thomas and Ola - 4
Rapunzel and Kevin - 7
Missy and Pasha - 8
Round of Mitch
Thomas and Ola - 1
Rapunzel and Kevin - 10
Missy and Pasha - 10
#downwithtrains
Thomas and Ola - 6
Rapunzel and Kevin - 9
Missy and Pasha - 10
Sabotage
Thomas and Ola - 4
Rapunzel and Kevin - 7
Missy and Pasha - 8
Round of Mitch
Thomas and Ola - 1
Rapunzel and Kevin - 10
Missy and Pasha - 10
#downwithtrains
Unlearnt Dance
Thomas and Ola - 9
Rapunzel and Kevin - 10
Missy and Pasha - 10
Sabotage
Thomas and Ola - 10
Rapunzel and Kevin - 10
Missy and Pasha - 10
Round of Mitch
Thomas and Ola - 10
Rapunzel and Kevin - 10
Missy and Pasha - 10
Thomas and Ola - 9
Rapunzel and Kevin - 10
Missy and Pasha - 10
Sabotage
Thomas and Ola - 10
Rapunzel and Kevin - 10
Missy and Pasha - 10
Round of Mitch
Thomas and Ola - 10
Rapunzel and Kevin - 10
Missy and Pasha - 10
Originally Posted by pothuthic:
“Izz missed out a big detail
On the flight home (his wings fell off lulz, Luke gets in Thomas' face and shouts at him for being a train and not having hips.”
“Izz missed out a big detail
On the flight home (his wings fell off lulz, Luke gets in Thomas' face and shouts at him for being a train and not having hips.”
Sorry, must have picked it from an earlier PM.
Give me five mins to get a leaderboard together. My other game is pushing me towards a nervous breakdown currently.
Leaderboard
1st - Rapunzel and Kevin Clifton - 115
2nd - Missy and Pasha Kovalev - 112
3rd - Thomas the Tank Engine and Ola Jordan - 98
1st - Rapunzel and Kevin Clifton - 115
2nd - Missy and Pasha Kovalev - 112
3rd - Thomas the Tank Engine and Ola Jordan - 98
I'm glad Thomas didn't make triple figures, I don't think Luke's fragile nerves could have coped.
Anyway, please post the name of your winner. Person with the least votes will be eliminated before the top two face off for the glitterball tomorrow at 7pm.
Originally Posted by StigOfTheKrump:
“Thomas.
Could you imagine? No, me neither. Missy's also my winner.”
“Thomas.
Could you imagine? No, me neither. Missy's also my winner.”
I'm afraid we have to accept your first answer..!
27 of 29
