Dance themes for contestants:

Ed Balls being rejected multiple times?
Clowdier in a leotard tumbling diagonally?
Naga sitting on a sofa side eying Tess ?
Greg jumping from one side of the dance floor to the next?

I simply don't have the genius of the PTB I really don't know how they can be really clunky in their dance themes.

The lights come up onto a dancefloor which is empty apart from a wooden 3-sided booth with a shelf at about elbow height. A small figure crosses the floor towards the booth, wearing a black mac. She turns into the booth, takes up a crayon and makes a huge cross on a piece of paper then chassees back across the floor to the judge's table and hands them the paper. As soon as she does, Ed Balls leaps out from behind Bruno, wearing a big rosette on his lapel. Small dancer chucks off her black mac to reveal a skimpy red frock and the two cha-cha away. Well, small dancer in red frock cha-chas. Ed Balls shuffles, looks shifty and uncomfortable and trips over his feet.

This.
Must.
Happen.

Fabulous!

You should e-mail that to the Beeb.

I guarantee we'll get (if he makes it this far) these songs used:

"Great BALLS of Fire"
"We Don't Talk Anymore"
"The Winner Takes It All" (The loser standing small...)

Oh and whilst nobody has reason to believe me, I work in media and the Jordans may soon be coming to an awful channel near you. They've been pitching a reality show starring them...

Probably everyone is fed up reading this, but ever since James was on CBB, I've said that.
I've gone further and said its going to be on Ch5.

From what I've been told, it would feature the "hilarious" antics of the Jordans as they run their dance academy and prepare for something "big".

Oh good grief, no! They might take it seriously!

Oh I believe you, to be honest I never minded James, at times I quite liked him, and I liked Ola, but this path they be treading, oh dear....

Deffo Ch5

It's too late- the toothpaste is out of the tube and this is now a thing. The production team get their ideas(/nightmares) from somewhere, and social media is as likely a place as any...

I always thought he saw them as the new Eamonn and Ruth - so having to settle for the Aldi Peter and Katie must rankle.

If you are in a position to stop them please do.

Oh bugger. That is actually quite a good idea.

Surely Aldi would still be too up market? More like off the back of a lorry version of Peter & Katie.

James & Ola have been trying to sell a candid reality series based on their lives since even before he was on Celebrity Big Brother. Good on them for their persistance if some idiots finally bit.

If that doesn't work out they can always audition to be the new Mel & Sue. I can just see James deploying delicate innuendo like "hurr hurr those eclairs look like pricks!" as Ola chugs more milk down her cleavage.

Although, don't know know I'm laughing - you've scarred me for life with that picture of Brian Fortuna. Had to sleep with the the light on last night

Well if it's going to Channel 4, GBBO has to be sexed up. One day we'll think wistfully of the innocence of a mere soggy bottom.
Which is what Ola will end up with if she keeps pouring dairy products into her underwear

Or clothes her nether regions exclusively in Ann Summers 100% nylon.

Ewwwwww. milk and nylon Ola you used to be my girl crush 😭😭😭😭




Side eyes Oti and Oksana,

Will forgive Danny for the arm holes if he can dance and keep Oti in,
Will forgive The Judge everything if he can be funny, popular, dance and keep Oksana in for a long time.

Basically BBC if you are depriving me of Mel and Sue, ( neither of whom where in anyway a girl crush) and Ola is off limits, ( self imposed it must be said due to dubious life choices), you have to give me someone to look forward to watching.

Ah, Anastasia and Naga, I feel slightly better for those 2 😀

I have a feeling that Anastacia is going to be a hoot

Yes so far she sems to have a lot of the right qualities, self depreciating, chatty, down to earth, not to mention kind and generous. Her achilles heel could be being overly talkative though.

I have a feeling I'm going to be able to forgive Anastasia anything and if Brenda doesn't show the correct amount of investment will hunt him down, confiscate his jackets with the rolled up sleeves, his Jim Stienman collection and multiple copies of Dirty Dancing and force him to watch Bacofoil with DS comments on a loop. Think on, Brenda. Think on.