And also Daddy Cloudier has a snipers riffle trained on AJ

I soooooo want Danny and Cloudier in the final

Me too - and I honestly wouldn't mind which one won

Oh dear. Ore's dances from tonight have both got more dislikes than likes on You Tube

Looks like people were not happy with the scoring!

Bit worried about Danny tonight, though. Loads of votes for Cloudier because she was undermarked can leave Danny in danger zone. What if we had his AS vs Ore QS in the danceoff?

ETA: Spoiler's in now for anyone who wants to mosey over to the spoiler thread

The spoiler is out.....................that is all I will say for now.

Danny is in the danger zone at joint second on the leaderboard anyway. Cloudier might get the Matt di Angelo power vote that left Alesha in the 4 couple quarter final dance off, from second place.

Madame Jwann clearly thinks AT is exactly the same as the ballroom one. All you have to door is flick your feet around a lot and do some rather bad, knicker flashing lifts to make it an AT.

The Man is superfluous. He does not lead. He makes like a lamp post and does his own flicky things, with added scowl. He waits around to be used for draping purposes, or for the odd bumpy Drag across the Floor.

In fact you just dance opposite each other most of the time in a vaguely aggressive, jagged but non committal way and pose a lot. There is no real contact, like chests meeting and stuff like that. Oh no. It's about stomping and flicking and glaring.

Madame Jwan will bare her teeth and snarl a lot, like a bad tempered hairdresser from Penge with a bad dye job and a migraine. And very glinty eyes, although that could be the gritty sparkle shadow flaking a bit.

Man snarls in sympathy - because that's empathy right? - and waits for Nurofen drip to kick in. That's what the first bad lift was all about.

Fill, target haunch, fire and back off.

Only it's taking an age to work. Dammit.

Settling in here now. I don't think I've ever seen such a brutal semi final!

I don't think Cloudier was undermarked. Her QS was great, but her rumba was utterly dire. I watched it back again and winced. The bum fluff was no help either.

She's fine in hold with quick dances, but is incapable of doing sinuous or fluid transitions from one movement to the next in slower or Latin dances. Her feet aren't great either and her very short legs do not help.

She goes into a pose, half finishes the requisite arm movement or shoulder shrug and then walks into the next with nothing in between. It's all walk, walk, pose, walk to next bit and pose. For fast dances swap walk with 'bounce'.


And AJ is Mr Glove Puppet with about as much charisma as an empty crisp packet and no ideas about choreography or teaching people to 'dance; it seems. Mind you, he looks about 13.

I unappreciate how everyone goes into a panic at this stage and tells everyone else how to vote. Sod off.

The scoring was ridiculous.

I came in (about 55 minutes ago) from a bit of a p*ss up. Shhhhhhhhhh, don't raise your voices, NO, I SAID SHHHHHHHHHHHH, DON'T RAISE YOUR VOICES!

With the miracle of "fast forwarding the cr@p", I have managed to watch tonight's show.

I have this to say.

If anyone still thinks the powers that be are not trying to manipulate them with this wonderful piece of televisual fiction, I have this response...

Hahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.

Please send me a postcard from Happyclappylalaville.

What she says. In spades!

Best rant of the series so far!

If it hadn't been for that awkward 'round the middle' lift, Danny's AS would have won the night for me, with Cloudier's QS second. Unfortunately, Danny's salsaless was rather meh, and Cloudier's rumba was very meh.

That's the second year in a row Kevin has done a smiley Tango. Perhaps he asked for that music?

Thank you TT. Agree with odd waist lift. Thought it weird - but loved the rest of the routine too.

I had no idea what Danny's salsa was. I had forgotten what they were dancing and I sat there thinking what is this exactly? I dance both Cuban and Colombian salsa so I know what I am looking for, and found theirs confusing.

Cloudier's rumba was appalling. She never finishes anything and seems to just walk through the moves in a sequences without ever joining anything up - unless she is led. She has reached her pinnacle now and won't get any better.

Am I sad that I wait expectantly each week for our dear sofa to arrive and put the show into perspective?? I love your reviews, sofa, as they are always honest and usually by this time of night a tad Jamesons fuelled.

The only good thing about the Strictly final next week for me is that my fave Greg, and also Ed + Judge Rinder will be back and dancing again - that'll be the only thing I'm watching on the night

It was odd wasn't it? I thought the underarm turns were very salsa but were linked with footwork that just wasn't. Yet it could have been. I saw no reason to use the steps they used for getting from one thing to the next when a simple mambo basic or Cuban basic would have done the job just fine. Oh and how I long to see a Dile que No. On the bright side at least they kept it pretty tight and weren't running around on opposite sides of the ballroom.

Thought for a few seconds Joanne was dancing round her handbag, disco style.

Thank you darling! How kind of you to say so x *hic*

The Jamesons tonight is heavily doctored with the addition of Beechams Powders, a good squeeze of lemon juice and some honey, for medicinal purposes!

Was out dancing AT in the country last night (and I do mean countryside - middle of nowhere) and we got very cold towards the end of the evening, spilling out onto the grass to find the cars and drive home.

And today hanging about train stations trying to get back to my real home. Dammit!

And now I sound I sound like Eartha Kitt, and not in good way

I'm not sure Ore wants to be described as a handbag, but I do know where you are coming from.

What say we call him a big, butch manbag instead?

I see him as more of a sponge bag.

I seem him as a record player with his needle stuck.

"I've never danced before."
"I've never danced before."
"I've never danced before."
"I've never danced before."

At least that explains his rotations in the Viennese Waltz.

*giggles*

Wouldn't that offend Joanne though with her Disney princess sensibilities?

Now,

Jwann dancing round her sensible but feminine tote - does that work?

BIB In our dreams girl, in our dreams!

And you can use the mambo basic for all kinds of transitions. I love using it to cross a dance floor at speed with continuous turns if the music is right

Here's something to make you smile!

Oy vey! Poor Ore.

*sniffles for him*

Hey, I think Ore would be thrilled at being described as sensible but feminine. I reckon he's spent time developing that side of him. And tote makes him sound strong.