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There's more than one way to be a bully


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Old 03-12-2015, 18:51
vixj83
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One thing that has really struck me over this tiresome 'who's the baddy' war, is how some people have a wildly differend idea over what constitutes bullying than others. There is more than one type of bullying but I think many on this forum have a rather more simplistic view.

I found this online, I will just leave it here. I think there's no doubt that several members of the Jungle cast this year have been guilty of several of these things. Also worth taking into consideration is who did what in what order of course....if you get bullied you might well react in a bullyish way to stand up for yourself (this happens, often in schools it is the bullied party who gets caught out retaliating and gets punished), while others might just retreat and hide away. I will just say, I'm trying to be totally impartial because Lady C, Tony and Duncan have all done my head in and I liked all at the start but now I can't say I like any of them.
I just think this is very interesting and in many ways, worrying.

Examples of overt bullying

Verbal abuse, such as shouting or swearing at staff or colleagues either in public or private
Personal insults
Constantly humiliating or ridiculing others, belittling them in front of others, persistent criticism or sarcasm
Terror tactics, open aggression, threats, abuse, and obscenities towards targets, shouting and uncontrolled anger triggered by trivial situations
Persecution through threats and fear, physical attacks
Making threats or inappropriate comments about career prospects, job security or performance appraisal reports

(I know what you're thinking, Lady C did some of those, but just wait)

Examples of covert bullying

Subjecting targets to excessive supervision, monitoring everything they do and being excessively critical about minor things with malicious intent
Taking the credit for the other person’s work, but never the blame when things go wrong
Personal insults and name-calling, spreading malicious rumours
Freezing out, ignoring, excluding and deliberately talking to a third party to isolate another
Never listening to other’s point of view, always cutting across people in conversation
Overruling an individual’s authority without prior warning or proper discussion
Removing whole areas of work responsibility from a person, reducing their job to routine tasks which are well below their skills and capabilities
Setting impossible targets and objectives, or changing targets without telling the person
Deliberately withholding information which the person requires in order to do their job effectively
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Old 03-12-2015, 18:59
hisdogspot
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The one incident that sticks in my mind is Lady C sitting on the bench with Kieron, and her telling him that she would understand if he chose not to sit and talk with her ... that she did not want him to endure 'sufferance' on her behalf

She understood that those who dared to be nice to her would be targeted for it.

That looked like bullying to me
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Old 03-12-2015, 19:03
Glyn W
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So if you try and not speak to someone you find obnoxious, you're actually bullying them?

I've heard it all now...!
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Old 03-12-2015, 19:13
hisdogspot
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So if you try and not speak to someone you find obnoxious, you're actually bullying them?

I've heard it all now...!
No ... I feel that demanding others do not speak to someone you find obnoxious a form of bullying

Deliberately trying to isolate someone is not admirable, is it ?
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Old 03-12-2015, 19:17
Emmabell
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No ... I feel that demanding others do not speak to someone you find obnoxious a form of bullying

Deliberately trying to isolate someone is not admirable, is it ?
Who demanded this?
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Old 03-12-2015, 19:20
Glyn W
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No ... I feel that demanding others do not speak to someone you find obnoxious a form of bullying

Deliberately trying to isolate someone is not admirable, is it ?
You're right, it is. Not seen any of that though. Perhaps you can enlighten me.
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Old 03-12-2015, 19:22
hisdogspot
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Who demanded this?
Well, during the incident I highlighted ( Lady C telling Keiron she would understand if he didn't sit with her ) Duncan came across and angrily confronted Keiron directly, telling him he was "causing all this", and why didn't he just leave her alone.

At the time Lady C and Keiron were just talking quietly together.

That's why it stuck in my mind
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Old 03-12-2015, 19:22
postit
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Who demanded this?
Duncan, to Kieron
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Old 03-12-2015, 19:25
jj-min
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So if you try and not speak to someone you find obnoxious, you're actually bullying them?

I've heard it all now...!
But he did speak to her...to be constantly critical - "Don't throw that bug on the fire" "Don't whisper it's rude"

Passive aggressive tactics. You find it goes on a lot in the workplace too.
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Old 03-12-2015, 19:26
Emmabell
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Ok, I didn't see any of this but nearly everything else on that list she was guilty of so its all tit for tat.
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Old 03-12-2015, 21:12
patricia50
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One thing that has really struck me over this tiresome 'who's the baddy' war, is how some people have a wildly differend idea over what constitutes bullying than others. There is more than one type of bullying but I think many on this forum have a rather more simplistic view.

I found this online, I will just leave it here. I think there's no doubt that several members of the Jungle cast this year have been guilty of several of these things. Also worth taking into consideration is who did what in what order of course....if you get bullied you might well react in a bullyish way to stand up for yourself (this happens, often in schools it is the bullied party who gets caught out retaliating and gets punished), while others might just retreat and hide away. I will just say, I'm trying to be totally impartial because Lady C, Tony and Duncan have all done my head in and I liked all at the start but now I can't say I like any of them.
I just think this is very interesting and in many ways, worrying.

Examples of overt bullying

Verbal abuse, such as shouting or swearing at staff or colleagues either in public or private
Personal insults
Constantly humiliating or ridiculing others, belittling them in front of others, persistent criticism or sarcasm
Terror tactics, open aggression, threats, abuse, and obscenities towards targets, shouting and uncontrolled anger triggered by trivial situations
Persecution through threats and fear, physical attacks
Making threats or inappropriate comments about career prospects, job security or performance appraisal reports

(I know what you're thinking, Lady C did some of those, but just wait)

Examples of covert bullying

Subjecting targets to excessive supervision, monitoring everything they do and being excessively critical about minor things with malicious intent
Taking the credit for the other person’s work, but never the blame when things go wrong
Personal insults and name-calling, spreading malicious rumours
Freezing out, ignoring, excluding and deliberately talking to a third party to isolate another
Never listening to other’s point of view, always cutting across people in conversation
Overruling an individual’s authority without prior warning or proper discussion
Removing whole areas of work responsibility from a person, reducing their job to routine tasks which are well below their skills and capabilities
Setting impossible targets and objectives, or changing targets without telling the person
Deliberately withholding information which the person requires in order to do their job effectively
That was a good interesting post but unfortunately it seems to have been misunderstood by some.
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Old 03-12-2015, 21:16
madetomeasure
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No ... I feel that demanding others do not speak to someone you find obnoxious a form of bullying

Deliberately trying to isolate someone is not admirable, is it ?
Yes and we have some on here who don't like Kieron because he backed up Lady C !!! Excellent and insightful OP
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Old 03-12-2015, 23:28
goonerlady
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You could say that Lady C was guilty of being a bully from that list and from the little we have seen just as much as anyone else!
I really don't understand the double standards on this thread.None of us know what went on as we have only seen bits and pieces and for all we know they all were as bad as the other.I don't think any of the camp mates are as bad or perfect as they are made out on these forums.
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Old 03-12-2015, 23:30
Arthur_B
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I've always felt that if someone feels like they're being bullied, then the person responsible is a bully. Maybe not all the time, and maybe not even intentionally, but certainly in that instance.
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Old 03-12-2015, 23:33
bulldog rosie
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That was a good interesting post but unfortunately it seems to have been misunderstood by some.
Not me ........I just felt bullied by it !
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Old 03-12-2015, 23:57
coke_pepper
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Well, during the incident I highlighted ( Lady C telling Keiron she would understand if he didn't sit with her ) Duncan came across and angrily confronted Keiron directly, telling him he was "causing all this", and why didn't he just leave her alone.

At the time Lady C and Keiron were just talking quietly together.

That's why it stuck in my mind
If two people were sitting on the end of my bed while i was suffering from sleep deprivation and starvation they'd be getting told to take a hike as well. My actions would be reactionary NOT calculated. The same actions Bannantyn demonstrated. I doubt very much he cared whether Dyer spoke to her or not as long as it was far enough away that he did not have to listen to it.
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Old 04-12-2015, 00:04
Cherrybomber
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That was a good interesting post but unfortunately it seems to have been misunderstood by some.
True, and deliberately misinterpreted by others.

It's baffling why people get so attached to jungle celebs that they will lie and manipulate on an Internet forum to score points.
Winning the verbal spat must be everything.
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Old 04-12-2015, 00:06
Cherrybomber
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If two people were sitting on the end of my bed while i was suffering from sleep deprivation and starvation they'd be getting told to take a hike as well. My actions would be reactionary NOT calculated. The same actions Bannantyn demonstrated. I doubt very much he cared whether Dyer spoke to her or not as long as it was far enough away that he did not have to listen to it.
I can agree with you that I'd be very stressed and unhappy, perhaps prone to a harsh reaction
But I can't help thinking that Duncan's reaction would have been less harsh if the chattering had been Vicky and Yvette

Do you agree, or not?
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Old 04-12-2015, 00:15
bulldog rosie
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True, and deliberately misinterpreted by others.

It's baffling why people get so attached to jungle celebs that they will lie and manipulate on an Internet forum to score points.
Winning the verbal spat must be everything.
Oh please..........The words " I found this online" says everything ...............but you know I've been sniffing Rosie and decided to give her a bath............ but now she's sniffing me !
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Old 04-12-2015, 00:32
vixj83
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Please feel free to Google it yourself. There are several websites saying much the same, official antibullying sites etc. This one was from a management training company.
Definately boxes being ticked on both sides is all I'm saying.

From what I've read in some threads a lot of people only seem to recognise the first type. Sometimes the 'best' bullies are more covert.
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Old 04-12-2015, 00:34
Cherrybomber
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Oh please..........The words " I found this online" says everything ...............but you know I've been sniffing Rosie and decided to give her a bath............ but now she's sniffing me !
I see zero connection between what I wrote and this ^^^^^^
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Old 04-12-2015, 01:04
FunboyFandango
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The one incident that sticks in my mind is Lady C sitting on the bench with Kieron, and her telling him that she would understand if he chose not to sit and talk with her ... that she did not want him to endure 'sufferance' on her behalf

She understood that those who dared to be nice to her would be targeted for it.

That looked like bullying to me
Which stemmed from Duncan berating Kieron for talking to Lady C.

Duncan Bannatyne, a 66yr old bully. How pathetic.
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Old 04-12-2015, 02:39
Alrightmate
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So if you try and not speak to someone you find obnoxious, you're actually bullying them?

I've heard it all now...!
No, but if you try and manipulate others to do the same as you then you could be.
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Old 04-12-2015, 09:00
duckylucky
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Please feel free to Google it yourself. There are several websites saying much the same, official antibullying sites etc. This one was from a management training company.
Definately boxes being ticked on both sides is all I'm saying.

From what I've read in some threads a lot of people only seem to recognise the first type. Sometimes the 'best' bullies are more covert.
Does the website mention anything about vile name calling and belittling of others ? While not condoning anyone who isolates others etc in my opinion Lady C's behaviour would not be tolerated in any workplace or anywhere else
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Old 04-12-2015, 09:04
calamity
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Does the website mention anything about vile name calling and belittling of others ? While not condoning anyone who isolates others etc in my opinion Lady C's behaviour would not be tolerated in any workplace or anywhere else
The difference though is that Lady C didnt need a clique like many bulllies seem to need, it even goes on in here..and was late last night...horrors of cowards....
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