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There's more than one way to be a bully |
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#26 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 10,247
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Quote:
The difference though is that Lady C didnt need a clique like many bulllies seem to need, it even goes on in here..and was late last night...horrors of cowards....
But there are bullies who operate as a lone wolf and often will be ultra nice to some and bite and scratch another . I find the latter more difficult to deal with if I am honest . The crowd bullies are easy to spot , the lone wolf makes others think he/ she is really a victim while digging teeth into a vulnerable spot she /he discovers |
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#27 |
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Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 12,425
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I agree that many bullies operate in groups and gain strength from a crowd . Its quite evident on many threads on DS and in real life
But there are bullies who operate as a lone wolf and often will be ultra nice to some and bite and scratch another . I find the latter more difficult to deal with if I am honest . The crowd bullies are easy to spot , the lone wolf makes others think he/ she is really a victim while digging teeth into a vulnerable spot she /he discovers |
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#28 |
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Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 192
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Does the website mention anything about vile name calling and belittling of others ? While not condoning anyone who isolates others etc in my opinion Lady C's behaviour would not be tolerated in any workplace or anywhere else
Agree it would not be tolerated in any workplace. If an employee 'went off on one' was pulled up for it, and made a claim that they had been provoked by a covert bully I would imagine the workplace would generally need to /want to investigate this. Any disciplinary action would depend on the outcome of this, but the level of blame and subsequent discipline would depend on the whole situation. |
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#29 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 655
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Quote:
The difference though is that Lady C didnt need a clique like many bulllies seem to need, it even goes on in here..and was late last night...horrors of cowards....
We're probably most of us victims of the perceptions we formed early on about the camp mates. Lady C was rude, manipulative and all too ready to go way over the top in insulting someone. She had no idea of how to work within a group of different people, and had no skill in how she offered advice or talked to others - which meant they didn't want to listen to her, even though what she was actually saying might have been useful in specific situations. As that is the opinion I formed based on what I saw - it's very difficult for me to see her in any way as a victim of anything, as it seems entirely self-induced. I'm sure it's equally difficult for others to see Duncan, Tony, Brian and anyone else in any other light than when they first made their minds up too (boring and dull were my first two opinions - others have cast them as baddies.) I think in the grand history of reality TV shows forums on DS, only 2 people ever changed their minds about someone on a show and admitted they were wrong on a forum. |
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#30 |
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Join Date: Mar 2006
Posts: 1,100
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You could say that Lady C was guilty of being a bully from that list and from the little we have seen just as much as anyone else!
I really don't understand the double standards on this thread.None of us know what went on as we have only seen bits and pieces and for all we know they all were as bad as the other.I don't think any of the camp mates are as bad or perfect as they are made out on these forums. Now I dont doubt that she also had some back, but out in the big wide world the phrase do unto others as you would have them do to you rings loud and clear. |
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#31 |
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Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 8,112
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So anybody that disagreed with her views was name called and shouted at, yet shes the one whos bullied....don't play the victim if youre gonna behave like that
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#32 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Jul 2009
Posts: 250
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Isn't it strange how the atmosphere suddenly improved with the old bat doing one.
Bullying my arse - How can just about everyone be wrong - even Ant and Dec have touched on what a nasty cow she was. But of course you can't allow it to get to you and say anything because that would be bullying - Bollocks. |
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#33 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: In the real world
Posts: 1,163
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Isn't it strange how the atmosphere suddenly improved with the old bat doing one.
Bullying my arse - How can just about everyone be wrong - even Ant and Dec have touched on what a nasty cow she was. But of course you can't allow it to get to you and say anything because that would be bullying - Bollocks. The 'b' word is bandied around far too mcuh these days, IMO. People act like complete bell-ends, then as soon as people go "No, that's not acceptable" they squeal that they're being 'bullied'. Or all the 'experts' on social media who aren't even there squeal that they're being 'bullied'. It seems a lot of people in this day and age seriously need to grow a spine and a thicker skin. |
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#34 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: The Rebel County
Posts: 17,761
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I still don't understand why one side had to be in the right, and the other in the wrong.
They were all guilty IMO.
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#35 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: London
Posts: 10,746
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One thing that has really struck me over this tiresome 'who's the baddy' war, is how some people have a wildly differend idea over what constitutes bullying than others. There is more than one type of bullying but I think many on this forum have a rather more simplistic view.
I found this online, I will just leave it here. I think there's no doubt that several members of the Jungle cast this year have been guilty of several of these things. Also worth taking into consideration is who did what in what order of course....if you get bullied you might well react in a bullyish way to stand up for yourself (this happens, often in schools it is the bullied party who gets caught out retaliating and gets punished), while others might just retreat and hide away. I will just say, I'm trying to be totally impartial because Lady C, Tony and Duncan have all done my head in and I liked all at the start but now I can't say I like any of them. I just think this is very interesting and in many ways, worrying. Examples of overt bullying Verbal abuse, such as shouting or swearing at staff or colleagues either in public or private Personal insults Constantly humiliating or ridiculing others, belittling them in front of others, persistent criticism or sarcasm Terror tactics, open aggression, threats, abuse, and obscenities towards targets, shouting and uncontrolled anger triggered by trivial situations Persecution through threats and fear, physical attacks Making threats or inappropriate comments about career prospects, job security or performance appraisal reports (I know what you're thinking, Lady C did some of those, but just wait) Examples of covert bullying Subjecting targets to excessive supervision, monitoring everything they do and being excessively critical about minor things with malicious intent Taking the credit for the other person’s work, but never the blame when things go wrong Personal insults and name-calling, spreading malicious rumours Freezing out, ignoring, excluding and deliberately talking to a third party to isolate another Never listening to other’s point of view, always cutting across people in conversation Overruling an individual’s authority without prior warning or proper discussion Removing whole areas of work responsibility from a person, reducing their job to routine tasks which are well below their skills and capabilities Setting impossible targets and objectives, or changing targets without telling the person Deliberately withholding information which the person requires in order to do their job effectively |
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#36 |
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Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 840
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I still don't understand why one side had to be in the right, and the other in the wrong.
They were all guilty IMO. ![]() |
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#37 |
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Join Date: Jan 2005
Posts: 26,363
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I still don't understand why one side had to be in the right, and the other in the wrong.
They were all guilty IMO. ![]() However, people are not treading on eggshells around Duncan and Tony (as far as I can tell) and the atmosphere immediately improved when Lady C left the camp. There were plenty of things Lady C could have done to improve her relationships, like admitting that she could be wrong once in a while. I don't think the term "live and let live " is in her vocabulary. There's no way she was bullied, but the three of them behaved badly |
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#38 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: North Hampshire
Posts: 5,362
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Please feel free to Google it yourself. There are several websites saying much the same, official antibullying sites etc. This one was from a management training company.
Definately boxes being ticked on both sides is all I'm saying. From what I've read in some threads a lot of people only seem to recognise the first type. Sometimes the 'best' bullies are more covert. Thanks, but do you know what, I think I'll give it a miss. Since the main contributor to all the ill feeling in the camp went the other night, the show has been calm and much more enjoyable to watch. |
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