I lost a dog by having her spayed, she did not wake up after the operation, and it has been 15 yrs ago and I blamed myself for years afterwards.

So don't blame yourself, it is not your fault.

OP, so sorry to hear of your loss. I had my year old Cockapoo spayed 4 weeks ago, and I was terrified something would go wrong, because, as another poster has shared their tragic story sometimes it does. She was fine thank goodness but you can't predict the ones who aren't.

You have no way of knowing if that could have happened, so please try to stop torturing yourself, she wouldn't want that. You loved your little one and she would have known, you couldn't have done more. Once you accept what has happened, and that nobody is to blame, you will find that the pain of loss eases, and you can remember the wonderful times you shared. Get up, and go about you day, maybe make a memory book for her when you feel up to it, smile at her pictures and your memories, shed tears when you feel sad, but stop blaming yourself.

One day, when the time is right, there will be another little one who will need all that love that you have to give, they are just waiting for you, you can never replace your friend, but you can share that love again with someone who needs it and they will give you joy once again.

It is early days, but it will get better. They all have to leave us eventually, and the pain can feel unbearable, but it is a price we pay for the joy they bring us while they are here.

DR you have made no mistakes in your dog's life. Diffe


Sorry to put this here, but for anybody who reads this, it is not true. Spayed animals cannot get pyometra at all. Pyo is an infection where the uterus becomes filled with pus, the uterus is removed completetly in a spay. It is impossible for a spayed bitch to get pyo.

DR you have made no mistakes in your dog's life. Different food, different exercise, different lifestyle even will not make a difference in whether a dog gets pyo. The single only thing that will alter your dog getting pyo is if she's spayed or not, and that is your decision to make as to if you wanted her to be or not. There will be people saying their dogs weren't spayed and never had a problem, and there'll be other ones who have the same unlucky outcome as you. Spaying isn't without risks anymore than any other invasive surgery is, and you as the owner make the decisions for your dog, ones that you hope are the right ones. Most of the time they are, but sometimes they unfortunately turn out not to be. But you make them with the best intentions as you believe them to be right and couldn't possibly see what would result from them way into the future. Nobody could fault you for that, and certainly your dog wouldn't. She would be glad and happy that she'd had such a good life with someone who quite clearly adored her.


(Sorry to double post, first one went wrong.)

Thank you

I am now going through all the things that should have been different in her life, I know it's a normal part of grief, it's just going to take time. I would give anything for her back.

The house has had the heart ripped out of it, it no longer feels like a home here.

I can almost physically feel your pain Desert_Rain. My heart goes out to you.

My advice to you is to get yourself a puppy straight away. When my dog died nothing else would ease my sadness.

Sorry to hear it. People who never had a dog don't realise how important they are to their owners.

With time, you will come to remember the happy times.

I'm so sorry for your loss.
I wonder if fostering a rescue dog might help you get through the next few weeks - looking after, for example, a dog whose owner has died and is waiting for a new permanent home. Rescues are desperate for help, especially over Christmas. And it might help to feel that you're doing something positive to help you through your grief.

Just to say this goes for humans too. I saw things more clearly after my Dad passed and wish I could do the time over and make things different. OP you are not a bad person you are human and none of us are perfect. xxx
Edit just to say I totally agree with the post above. Pass on your love and what you learnt to a new dog. It doesn't mean you loved your old dog any the less. On the contrary do it in their memory.

Sorry to disagree but sadly spayed animals can still develop Pyometra in the uterine stump (remaining tissue) also sadly Pyometra is often discounted when first seeing an animal because it has been spayed.

Yes, but is it thankfully much rarer, and because the stump is so short, it can only develop into an open pyo, which is instantly noticeable and generally treatable, not the extremly dangerous closed version which isn't as easy to spot until it's often too late (as sadly seemed to be the case with the OP's dog). Spaying still virtually eliminates the possibility of pyo so it's still worth doing.

What on earth are you writing about ?

RTFT

Pyometra in dogs.


What does RTFT mean?

The polite version is "Read the full thread".

I am very sorry to hear your situation and your dog. If I were you, I would burst into crying and become very sad. You are a kind-hearted woman. When I read your words as following posts, I really want to weep. I don't know how to comfort you. However, everything will be well as time goes by. When I encounter the bad things or sad matters, I will pray to God, He never let me be disappointed. My heart was filled with peace and happiness after the prayer. Maybe you can take a try, can you?

Thank you Melissa

I am still just trying to feel normal, I've been spending a lot of time on DS soap forum just trying to forget about things and trying to feel normal, I've actually been a bit better for a week or so but today it's all hit me again, It's an emotional rollercoaster.

It's just sinking in that those days are gone, and it's typical to not realise what you have until it's too late.

I don't know what to do with myself, and I cannot believe how much I took her for granted, she was truly the most beautiful Dog, she was my special one x

My little cat died a week ago today, she was only 2. She was just her normal happy self and doing all her normal stuff, then plopped to the ground and died right in front of me. It was horrendous and I still haven't gotten over it, hardly eaten a bite and just feel sad all the time. Christmas has been a complete downer this year so I completely understand where you are x.

Well much rarer is slightly different from telling people my info was not true isn't it, and sadly contrary to your opinion that it is easily noticeable it is far from it as vets often discount it. Anyway that is not what this thread is about is it , it is about an FM grieving their friend so I will leave it there.

I am so sorry, I know exactly what you are going through right now, it's horrendous. It's an absolute emotional rollercoaster and I am trying to not think about the reality of the situation, if I do I breakdown, it's still extremely hard to accept that she has really gone. I was in bits last night and this morning. Be kind to yourself gaz, your little friend had a very happy life while she was with you xxx


I am so paranoid at the moment to be perfectly honest. I did notice that my friend had been different for the few days before she died, but I didn't really think much of it, she was still happily going for walks, eating and barking at other Dogs she saw outside (She loved a good bark) I am so guilty that I should have noticed the difference in her, she seemed slightly down in the dumps that day and I feel I should have noticed sooner.

In particular I am absolutely haunted that I may have made the wrong choice, she was only young for a Border Collie and the idea that she could still be here with me if I had acted differently, or made a different choice is horrendous. All I am seeing is that open pyometra is very treatable. I have been trying to take my mind off of these thoughts, but it's always there. My girl loved life, especially the summer months in the garden, and the idea that I am responsible for cutting her life short, the Dog that trusted me and who I loved deeply, is breaking my heart.

Guilt is a powerful and ugly thing.

Hi Desert_rain,

I sent you a PM. Kindly check.

Thanks for your kind words Desert Rain

I do apologise Skp, I think we were at cross purposes, I was on about closed pyo not the stump pyo that you meant. Animals can't get closed pyo after they've been spayed (no womb for the pus to gather up in) but you are right that they can still get pyo, albeit a thankfully rarer, normally easier to spot and less life threatening version, from the stump left behind getting infected. And yes, vets will often discount it, especially if the dog has been spayed. As you say though, this isn't the thread for this discussion so I'll say no more about it.

so sorry about this.