Man if you're gonna release poison pen nonsense at least go the whole hog. "He's a bit rude and he asked someone to peel a satsuma" is some weaksauce nonsense.
I have it on good authority, from an unnamed source, that Anton Du Beke sacrifices puppies to Satan every Sunday, and has the body of Jimmy Hoffa in his cellar. He is instrumental in the escape of Lord Lucan, was a regular dinner guest of the Kray twins and learned to dance so he could tap out secret Morse code spy signals to the Nazis. He insists that sexual partners call him "Tone the Bone" and cannot successfully urinate without a terrified animal (dog for preference) making direct eye contact with him - afterwards he will not wash his hands, but will wipe off on said animal. One time for fun he set fire to a tramp, and wouldn't put the tramp out until they'd done a, as he put it, "marvellous fleckerl". His teeth are carved elephant ivory, and it's a part of his BBC Strictly contract that, at all times, two runners must actually run - on a big treadmill, which generates the electricity he uses to kill white lab mice for fun.