Just back from Christmas at the boyfriend house. And, what a palava! I'll share the story now, and hopefully you'll agree that I'm doing the right thing?

His parents have three dogs. Now, every Christmas there's at least one occasion where they'll break into the tins of chocolates and eat the contents. They find this hilarious. It's f'ing not! It makes me mad that they don't seem to consider the health risks to the dogs.

Come to this year. Christmas Eve, the mum leaves a whole Christmas (fruit) cake lying on the floor overnight. It is hidden behind a curtain. My dog manages to eat it during the night and is sick all day. I have to phone the vet to ensure he's going to be okay, and it's touch and go for a few hours.

Later that day...they leave the fridge open and one of the dogs has her head in it.

I've got home today and my dog has started being sick. I've checked out the vomit and there's bits of string in there. God knows what he's managed to get hold of this time?

So, in my mind they're completely negligent. I actually lost my temper after the cake incident and told them I was angry because these things keep happening.

I'm now going to refuse to take him back. I've no time for politeness when the health of my dog is concerned. So, other than shadow the dog whilst I'm there (which of course is impossible) I'm going to put him into home boarding when I have to visit them.

Would you do the same?

Just to add weight to my argument - one of their dogs last year ate a lead pipe and had to be put on a drip in the vets as she almost died.

I really can't understand the idiocy of some people.

We're due to go back for New Year and I really don't want to take Harley. I can't bear it.

I understand your frustration. It falls into three categories. Some are ignorant when it comes to food that aren't safe. Think their being kind by sharing food or worse far too stupid to understand, You get dogs that are smarter than said owners.

I always have a bit of a battle with my parents, She always overfeeds her, "Awww she's hungry" She's not bleeding hungry, she just knows how to wring treats out of you. Apparently I'm cruel, reeeeeeeeeally ?? I've worked dam hard with my girl to put her back in shape the time I've had her. Her diet before I got her was pretty much any old crap going, including regular chippys.

Changing that was a nightmare

Sorry I started ranting

Plymguy - stick Harley in the kennels - you can't risk his health just to be polite. Don't make a big thing of it, just say he's in the kennels when asked and don't elaborate.

There is no way my dog would be allowed to set foot into that house under any circumstances. What their doing is frankly dreadful, they know full well the dogs shouldn't be eating this stuff yet their allowing 'accidents' to happen on purpose. Who the hell leaves the fridge door open and puts a cake on the floor FFS let alone in a house where there's a dog? How bloody irresponsible can you get? They are going to seriously endanger or kill one or all of their dogs with what their doing, and what's the betting if they do they'd wail that "they never thought that would happen".

A friend of mine's dog managed to get in the bin, ate a tiny amount of something it shouldn't have and was lucky to survive. This was a huge Labrador too not a tiny lightweight thing, it really is impossible to know if a dog will get away with eating something it shouldn't or not, so the sensible responsible thing to do is not risk it in the first place! OP I would keep your dog as far away from them as possible if you value his health and life! This isn't someone ignorant over feeding their dogs dangerous stuff and needs calmly explaining why they shouldn't do so, this is someone fully aware it's not safe and being ignorant and blasé over the consequences.I don't know how you've kept quiet, I wouldn't have been able to stop myself from giving them a piece of my mind for being so downright stupid.

Slightly O/T but sometimes things happen that mean you have to cut off visiting relations in their homes.

My sister and her husband always have a house full of his relatives on Holiday days etc.
One time they had a football match on the TV, and some of them were hurling obscene, racist filth at the coloured players.

I do admit that I swear a bit, but this was way too much.
I took my small son away as soon as possible, and we have never gone back when she has a "house full"
I am not in any way what you would consider a "PC" person, but several of my son's small school friends are black or coloured, and there is no way i would want him picking up the stuff these idiots were saying and repeating it to anyone. (Especially at school)

You clearly have to draw a line with your dog and the ignorance that these people are showing.

Thanks everyone. I knew I was doing the right thing. Thanks for confirming I wasn't being OTT.

I have to go back for New Year but I'm going to go as late as possible, keep the dog with me EVERYWHERE, and leave first thing in the morning. I'll then look at getting a dog boarder sorted. I'll have to cut down my visits to his parents though as it could get quite expensive!

Some people really are stupid though. I'm surprised one of their dogs hasn't died in the past. They write Harley off as unusual in the things he chews on. Oh piss off, you can't blame the bloody dog. I 'dog proof' everything at home which is what I thought all dog owners would do? Seems not!

I'm more surprised you aren't putting your foot down and simply refusing to go. I wouldn't even contemplate taking my dog back to the house, let alone worrying about whether I was doing the right thing or not, and if your boyfriend has an issue with it, then they either get the dog issue sorted, or you don't risk the dog. Why are you even risking your dog?

If you take on a dog, then your social life is potentially curtailed because the needs of the dog must come first. These people sound like total idiots. Who the hell leaves a fruit cake on the floor. Are they intentionally trying to kill their dogs to get rid of them?

In this situation if something does happen to your dog, then it would be your fault not theirs, because you know what environment you are taking your dog into. You have no control over their environment, which is obviously not dog-safe so it is up to you to keep your dog out of that environment.

Okay I am being a bit flippant here but if your boyfriend has an issue with you looking out for your dog's welfare then ditch him. He's an idiot and find a sensible boyfriend.

I agree with DigitalSpyUser. OP do NOT take your dog back into this house. This isn't a place that is not dog friendly so much as a doggy death zone. You won't be able to keep him under constant supervision every second you are there no matter how much you try, and if anything happens to him you will kick yourself for taking him somewhere you know full well isn't safe. And it's not safe, someone who hides a full Christmas fruit cake, absolutely chock full of raisins, currants and sultanas on the floor behind the curtains deliberately for the dogs as they KNOW it's toxic and could kill, could put something anywhere. These people aren't fit to have any pet, what their doing is akin to putting poison down for their pets as if their trying to get rid of vermin. As DSUser says, are they trying to intentionally kill their dogs?

Keep your dog as far away as possible, phone up a kennels most will take a dog at short notice if you say it's an emergency. Your boarding price will be nowhere near a vets bill, or worse, if your dog manages to eat something before you have a chance to stop him. Put your foot down and tell your boyfriend you aren't taking your dog anywhere near the house and why. If he won't have it I'd tell him he'd damn well be going on his own then, as I wouldn't risk my girl's life for anyone, and certainly no bloke would ever come between me and my dog - not unless he wanted to loose and be out the door so fast his head would still be spinning the next day.

Hope your dog's feeling better.

Obviously you know yourself what the set up is there and if you don't feel comfortable taking your dog back there that's fair enough, I think it's understandable.

I'm going to go against the grain here, in your shoes, I probably would take her with me. We took ours with us to family Xmas Day (mine) and Boxing Day (his). It's understood that if she doesn't go we don't go. I'd sooner take her with me and keep an eye (I do anyway) than leave her. She's not used to being left for any length of time and I wouldn't want to leave her.

But then it's easy for me say because supervision isn't an issue where we go; she's with us, we can see what she's at. I understand that may not be the case at your in laws.

I don't think your in-laws place is a death trap but I do think they're pretty dumb when it comes to dog safety. I'd be concerned for *their* dogs but I don't expect other people's houses to be dog proofed for us; it's my job to look after my own and see that she's Ok.

In that instance I'd go but keep in mind how utterly lax they are, take a scout around when I get there for any low flying fruit cakes, bear traps, lead pipes, that sort of thing, lift it and say, "I'm just lifting this out of the dogs way. Very dangerous blah blah blah".

Some people are ill-informed, some just plain dumb and irresponsible but I find civilly getting your point across is more likely to get through. You catch more bees with honey than with vinegar and all that.

Anyway, up to you. You'll know what's best for your dog. In my case, it would be best to take her with and keep an eye on her but, sure, we do that where ever we go.

Mind you, there's not much watching to be done with ours. She's just there for the cuddles and the spoiling from the oldies anyway. She'd have no truck with a fridge or a fruit cake, the little tart.

I think your beef is more with your boyfriends parents in general.
There are billions of dogs around the world that eat stuff they shouldnt.
Dogs survive.
Most dog owners know exactly what to give their dogs to eat.
Theres also some people that let a dog tag along with them for company....doesnt make them a bad owner if their dog eats something they have not given them.
Your problem is your attitute towards your boyfriends parents....not the dog thing.

You aren't being OTT, I would not take my dog to their home, and if boarding was too expensive I wouldn't go, and I would have no problem telling them why. Your dog was lucky this time, raisins can be fatal, it causes their kidneys to fail. The arsenic in chocolate can kill a dog as well. Imagine how you would feel if your dog died as a result of their stupidity. You look after you dog well, so don't feel bad for not taking him there.

Personally I would go further and tell their vet, or report them because they are harming their dogs.

They sound like a really ignorant bunch.

Oh, so you missed the part about her dog actually suffering sickness after being at their house, after they left food on the floor that can kill a dog.

Funnily enough, I'd have a problem, too with them if I was in that position.

Yes but most that eat things they shouldn't do so purely by accident, not because some idiot person has deliberately left it on the floor for them. If I took my dog to someone's house I wouldn't expect them to have dog proofed it completely so I don't have to watch her, but I certainly wouldn't expect them to purposefully leave a fruit cake on the floor and the fridge open, especially if they had a dog themselves. Most owners would do their utmost to make sure their dogs were kept safely away from toxic foods too, not deliberately feed them it, well not unless they wanted to get rid of them. What kind of owner deliberately gives their pet something that could cause serious internal problems and even kill it?

I guess I am fortunate in that I don't have to do any dog proofing. She simply won't touch anything that isn't hers. I could leave her in a room with a juicy steak within reach and she wouldn't touch it let alone 'break in' to a tin of chocolates.. I don't know whether this is down to her nature or my training. Some friends visited recently with their dog which demolished one of my dog's toys then started on the bedding till I stopped it. They thought it was funny! One badly trained dog - sigh...
Anyway It sounds to me as if they are feckless and clueless rather than malicious. You are surely not suggesting they hoped the chocolates would poison the dogs? As for the fruit cake I doubt they actually purposefully left it there for a dog to get at.
People like this need educating. I'll bet there are plenty of people who genuinely don't know how dangerous some foods are to dogs and who are feeding unsuitable stuff at this very moment.
That said, for me my priority is my dog. So if I was in your situation I wouldn't put the dog in boarding kennels. I have come across very few kennels I felt totally comfortable with. Too many are just doggy prison. I would keep visits short or not go.

Was wondering what you did in the end?

Hope your dog's over the tummy upset.

Sorry MrsG, but it's hard not to come to that conclusion really. Dogs don't keep managing to break into tins of chocolates unless the owner allows it. Once perhaps, twice maybe, but not multiple times. Most owners, if their dogs managed to get into the chocolates would count their lucky stars and make damn sure it couldn't happen again. My dog ate a dog toy last year and almost died. I've not given her the chance to do so again and banished all toys completely, except a ball which she only gets under strict supervision or on a walk. If I'd taken her to the vet after eating a toy a second time, they'd think I was a bit careless or unlucky. If I took her a third or fourth time, they'd think I was downright negligent or trying to deliberately harm her by giving her access to something I know she's not safe with.

Nobody puts a Christmas cake on the floor overnight. Nobody. My aunt makes cakes for people ( including Christmas ones) she'd think it crazy to put one on the floor. They'd get bits of dirt, dust and hair on them, and think of the germs of putting a cake on the floor where the dog has walked after it's been running all over the garden and goodness knows where else, not to mention any tiny bugs that could wander all over it. Even if you ran out of kitchen surface, you wouldn't stick it on the ground! IMO if you put a cake on the floor you intend for the dog to get it. If you put it behind a curtain your hiding it incase someone sees it and takes it up as you know full well it shouldn't be given, and if you know that you also know why.

I really doubt that you would put a cake on the floor deliberately for a dog to eat. Apart from anything else they aren't cheap and if you want to feed a dog, cake surely you would just give some to the dog. It was possibly put there to cool and fogotten about. I used to batch cook dog food and leave it on the back doorstep to cool before freezing. However I did keep an eye out for neighbourhood pets!
Surely the OP wouldn't consider visiting again (with or without dog) if it was thought to be a malicious act. As opposed to just stupid. Indeed I didn't see any suggestion of the former by the OP.
Hope they come back and clarify!

Hello,

Sorry for the silence - I just got back this afternoon.

I did go back for New Year but asked the parents to make sure there was nothing left in the dogs reach. I also scouted the house as soon as arriving, and every hour (or so) after that to assess any potential risks. Harley was also kept with me at all times in our room and, when he wanted out, I would take another look around the house to make sure everything was safe.

It was much better and incident free. I'll just keep doing this whenever we visit from now on and be especially vigilant around Christmas time.

There's no way they'd harm any of the dogs deliberately. His parents are really nice, just need to be more responsible where animals are concerned. Made me bloody mad over Christmas though!!!

Uck, that's brilliant, so glad to hear that. That's exactly what I would have done.

I'm sure you wouldn't have wanted to leave him behind and kennels aren't for every dog. Some take it in their stride but it can be very distressing, and create problems like reactivity, for others.

Glad all well in the end and Harley's okay. You never know, they might take on board some of what you've said and think a little more.

Glad you clarified that. Some people went for a rather melodramatic interpretation.

There's been a moi-dah!

I am very glad your dog is ok and that things went well. Having to wander around every hour checking everything is safe doesn't sound like a barrel of laughs though, and I'm afraid if it was me, I wouldn't be going back, no matter how nice his parents are. Not being able to relax or drop your guard the entire time would put me off completetly. And I still can't work out a logical, genuine reason for putting food of any sort on the floor in a household with dogs, they'd sniff it out in no time. If it was put there to cool there's a very high chance it wouldn't be there when you went to fetch it! Perhaps they need some eduction on not just the digestive system, but the mind of a dog!

They shouldn't be allowed to keep animals as they are a clear danger to them.

They may not realise it but animal abuse letting them get ill like that.

You or your bf should say before they end up killing their dogs.

You're not being unreasonable, some people are lazy selfish slobs. Just the way the world is unfortunately.