That is so awkward.

Wonder what stopped it becoming an actual story.

My favourite Declan moment.

OMG, seeing again the force with which he hit her, there is simply no way on earth she could ever have survived that. Certainly not by the next ep with just a small bruise to show for it.

...

Oh my god, that was the BEST Charity moment ever! It still makes me scream.

Though by rights, her brains should have been splattered all over the floor tiles. Perhaps a bit much for 7pm.

It was so hilarious to watch and I was cheering him on, despite knowing that Charity was never once in danger.


She must have a very hard head.

Unfortunately, she did.

It's going to seem a quiet week for Emmerdale as neither Tess nor Nessa will be in. As if to make matters worse, Leela (Kirsty-Leigh Porter formerly Emmerdale Roz) won't be in Hollyoaks either.

It was amusing on Friday when Lisa referred to Joanie as Lilo Lill!

New Policy is very wise - and the analysis as always spot on Kwynne!

Mini Synopsis of Ep

Moira and Cain found Noah was missing and started a remarkably halfhearted search for hin.
Emma meanwhile was upto something stashing Noah in the B&B
Finally she brought him home to be scolded by a severe telling of by yet another new policewoman
Emma was the hero and got Noah to get her a visiting order to see Charity
Noah's punishment for running away you ask, being grounded by being treated to a Pub Dinner in the Woolpack, yes that would stop people from running away wouldn't it, being treated to going out to Dinner
Moira also wants t see Charity
Diane sold the pub to Chas's mystery buyer who isn't remotely Charity.
Chas also got a suspended sentence for whatever crime she had commited this time
Chas also found some dog shite on her shoes and threw them out of the pub
Dull Dan was moaning about Kerry letting Zak and Joanie stay and Kerry didn't care much
Amelia has definitely finally leant how to comb her hair.

Other stuff may have happened but it sucked the joy out of living so who cares.

BiB : This really annoys me now in Soaps. OK, I know these days we can't (and probably shouldn't) give kids the good hiding they deserve for this sort of behaviour - even for Noooaaarrggghh who, unsurprisingly, makes a habit of it - but we should certainly see them getting a damn good telling off and some other form of punishment for it. No wonder so many of the little scrotes grow up with such an unattractive sense of entitlement and preciousness these days.

PLUS:

robron PDA in the pub where moira took noah for dinner

That was hardly a PDA, Robert just put his hand on Aaron's shoulder

he was rubbing him... i saw it!!!!

Mind you, the kid has just found out his Mum tried to flog him for a tenner. Maybe we should cut him some slack.

Alicia used to ground Jaycubb on an almost daily basis, if I remember right. I miss her.

Yes, and every time she grounded him, he used to just run away too......and then be welcomed back with open arms and ice cream/dvd etc, and then be grounded, and then..............

Coincidentally I believe today is Groundhog Day in the States.
At least they only have it once a year - we have to suffer it every week in ED.

Kids today, why can't they run away properly? They keep coming back, like they're on elastic.

NOTE TO REAL KIDS: Do NOT run away from home. This is actually a very bad thing. Talk to someone instead.

/end public message

You should set up an end of Episode help line.

If you are a child who has run away or a parent whose child has run away call this number now.

is that the woolie's number

"If you've been affected by a parent treating you to Marlon's chips in the Woolpack, ring this number. Or thow up in this bucket."

Analysis of Emmerdale Characters

1) Robert dear why would you waste your time keeping confidences of THAT, tell Chas and then wash your hands of the whole dirty mess, none of those people are worth your effort.

2) Chas - if everybody is telling that Gordon is a moron, a moron, that Gordon is a moron listen to them, but of course you have never showed an ounce of sense when it comes to men.

3) Cain was concerned and told Chas stuff about stuff but Kwynne doesn't give a stuff

4) Eric - is concerned that the B&B has money troubles, perhaps if you hadn't driven away all your regular customers you might be doing better.

5) Tracey makes a good business and blackmailing team with Carly

6) Finn - shut up Finn

Sidebar Pete is being sentenced, has the actor left for good or is he just on holiday.

7) Diane was wearing her best wig yet, just how many does she have, because wigs don't come cheap.

8) Dross was just as interested in child care as ever, ie not at all.

9) emma - Got one over Charity and blackmailed her but didn't ask nearly as much as I would have, I would have asked for full custody of Moses, why didn't she?

10) Charity - How long do we think Charity will allow Emma to stay on top, revenge can't be far away

11) Lawrence - Has Lawrence's batteries run down because he seemed to be operating at half power.

12) Nicola - wonder how long she will manage to be a stay at hom mother.

13) Jimmy employ some more drivers and then you won't be stuck behind spillages

14) Adumb was living upto his name this episode.

Ways how to to put Dross on the naughty step.

Part 2 Dross is rude to teacher Cain so Cain beats Dross to an inch of his life, believes in corporal punishment does Cain, he believes in the school of hard knocks

Normally I would agree but I do think in this case they had to go a bit easy as the kid' s clearly having a crisis and had just discovered Charity had all but posted him on EBay as a baby Still, a firm telling off of the kind Cain was clearly about to dish out when Moira interrupted would not have gone amiss. Why did she interrupt? She' s always doing that, it must drive Cain round the bend!

Also, the poor kid was following orders, just the stupidest orders ever Can' t wait until Cain finds out Charity was behind it. I honestly thought Noah was lying about that, but Charity's face told a very different story

In general though , soap parents bend over backwards for their kids, then are rewarded by them throwing it all back in their face and whining about how awful they are and what a neglected, deprived childhood the brat has had.

OK, I'll let Nooaaarrggh off just this once due to mitigating circumstances, (ie having SkankCharity for a mother). And I rofl at the thought of her 'posting him on Ebay', poor little mite. If she suddenly starts weighing and measuring little Moses, whilst holding a large sheet of brown paper, he should start worrying too.

Poor Moses was better off with Debbie, than either of his parents or his Granny

That's like a choice between syphilis and gonorrhoea

Poor Moses my arse. Look at him. He's got about 17 parents and guardians fighting to wipe his cute little botty and run round supplying him with rusks. He's laughing.

It's all part of his plan for world domination.