I think you'll find Charity would have been toast had Robbie not dove in front of that flare.

Well fortunately for us McLeod is not a writer but I get your point, if any of that was actually meant to be humorous then it's an embarrassment to the team

But doesn't he plan the long term stories? Plus I remember him saying he wanted the characters to be "nicer" to each other, I think that was those lame comedy attempts and 500 billion costume parties.

All hail King Lucky!
Can he purge the village of Tracey and Marlon too?

Well, it's a high bar. Cameron was just fabulous.


Oh god, can we *never* have the pirate ship back again please?

I love that a lot of the stories Kate Oates started but then sort of dropped and abandoned have been picked up by this new guy. Emma arrived in a blaze of glory then did almost nothing. Rebecca got mentioned, but they never brought her in. Vanessa mentioned her prison inmate Dad years ago, then it got dropped. It finally feels like they want to tell some proper stories.

Let's hope the stupid affairs and random relationships and comedy filler which have stunk up the last year are finally over and done.

Got my vote.

He decides the direction of the stories and the fact that he wants comedy but he won't actually be writing the scenes.
I totally agree though, let's not have a drag party for a while, another trend Ms Oates started that should be sent to the shredder.


It does feel that way, I just hope I'm not being tricked.
Affairs are still very much the anchor for the show at the moment, even when they're not affairs - looking forward to a change.


Mine too. Can I also nominate Dan? Thanks.

Kate Oates did do the parties but she at least did them sparingly. McLeod is doing them at about the rate Kate was sending characters to the hospital.

That's pretty regular

Since when does the producer write?

Some comedy is necessary just not the entire episode for every episode 2 weeks in a row like before Holly died

Hasn't been a party since Holly died, nor any fancy dress

So last night ITV at the end of the show offered a help for issues featured in the show err which issues were those that would take 10 hours on the phone to explain

So here is Analysis centrals review of the Jeremy Kyle show special 5 hour edition to get to the heart of the issues at the heart of the most troubled village in th country

After theme tune Jeremy Kyle who will be called JK from this point walks on confidently in an arrogant and snide manner

JK says Welcome to the Jeremy Kyle show, we have an amazing show for you, if you thought we dealt with difficult issues and troubled inner ciity neighbourhoods before you have obviously never been to the yorkshire village of Emmerdale, where secrets and troubled people abound

JK to start with as is customary on this show we like a good Dna testing.

JK So Welcome Rebecca White to the Show - clapping from audience

Rebecca all blonde smiles and headband "Hi"

JK So Rebecca what are you here for today

Rebecca "well Jeremy my family do nothing but lie to me, my father may not be my father, my sister is trying to cut me out of the will even though he's not her father either and her son shot my Father with a shotgun and they all framed Chriissie boyfriend for the crime and now he's fled the country" "I may be new to the village but what goes on there is shocking"

JK Well Rebecca that quite a story shall we bring on the rest of your family, everybody welcome Chriis, Lachlan and lawrence White to the show along with Robert Sugden brother of the missing Andy

They all walk on

Chrissie slaps Rebecca for revealing family secrets and has to be restrained by members of the crew

JK " So who wants to start"

Chrissie "We kept secrets because Rebecca wasn't here and it was nothing to be worried about"

Lachlam looks guilty and sheepish

JK " So Robert is Rebbecca story correct did all those things happen and did you not cheat on Chrissie when you were married and cheat on her with another man"

Robert yes I did but that not the issue right now You should also know that Chrissie shot down a helicopter and lachlan abused a woman sexually, and Lawrence wrecked a womans life by marrying her even though he is gay.

JK lets all welcome Priya and Rakesh Kotecha to the Show.

JK " So Rakesh your story is your son ran over a woman, fled to Brazil, you got into debt by helping him, lost your job set fire to your worthless house because of your debts and dry rot, caused a villager to suffer brain damage and a withered arm, got into even more debt and then stole thousands from your wifes family firm and you have just failed to kill your self" Rakesh just looks guilty

Priya "its all true Jeremy he's a monster and he brought back my Bulimia

Fight breaks out when priya brother Jai attacks Rakeshand the crew jump on him

JK "Come back after the break we will talk to Kerry and Dan about how Dan kissed another woman and in revenge Kerry slept with a Taxi driver and had an abortion even thought the baby was probably Dans"

JK Welcome back to the show

The unwelcome sight of Doug potts come on to complain about how everyone is scared of Helicopters and planes because a plane once fell on the village Doug is evicted from the studio.

JK Lets welcome Emma and James Barton to the studio

JK " Well Emma is it true James loves another woman and you don't want him to leave so you have drugged him and locked him up?"

Emma " Well Jeremy i'm only doing what any woman would try to save my marriage just like I tried to smother our marriage by smothering our son Ross when he was a baby because James cheated on me with my sister in law Moira"

James is snoring

JK is a bit despairing at all the madness around him, even he hasn't seen such troubled madness

After the break we we have Rebecca's DNA results and much will become clear

Adverts

After the break JK has been mysteriously shot, will he survive who did it it and why.

NOT all the UK and wouldn't be surprised if ratings improved

Sales of Kleenex went through the roof when Aaron and Robert got together

Naw, the ratings would be so low they'd cancel the show


I'm dead

Exactly. In fact the ratings improved when he went off to France

But that wasn't over night if I'm correct, didn't they go up during the Cameron story which was like a year after Aaron left?

Oh my god, THE CAT, THE CAT!!!

This Emma stuff is SO creepy, I'm actually starting to feel sorry for James.

It's really well-done.

Oh LOL, I take it back, that second episode was a bit shit. James's acting!!!

Also please take all the wanky Wobwon fan service away, it makes me cringe.

Still like Robert with Rebecca though, she's got the measure of him.

I don't understand how she's using the " we used to have sex, behind chrissies back" as a power play over him.msurely it should be the other way around?

If it came out now,what would happen? Chrissie would still be divorced from him and still think he's a duplicitous scumbag.mshes the one with everything to lose

Good point, well made! It doesn't make a whole heap of sense, but I guess it gives her a sense of superiority over Chrissie to know she was shagging her man (oof, so mean), and it's also her way of saying to Robert, yeah, you risked it all for me, and I know you still want me.

Who knows really? But it's more interesting for him than being shackled to a boring potato.

BIB - you jinxed it

I bleddy did! I was really enjoying it as well. Then it went down faster than James on a slippery kitchen floor.

Bah.

This made me laugh (and I like Aaron and am a fan of the Robert/Aaron pairing!!) cos if something's funny it just is funny (I do have a strange sense of humour though and am in a bit of a strange mood tonight).