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One can only hope.

Analysis of Emmerdale Characters and other things..

Where to even start with this episode.

1) Gordon died, and so spent only 9 hours of a 18 year sentence which may be a record.

2) The Boot - I went to Uni in Yorkshire and they used to drink from boots in Ripon too, must be a Yorkshire as well as a dingle thing. Also see yards of Ale.

3) Robron was stabbed in the gut, bet the fans weren't happy heh.

4) Robert read the letter he burned supposedly despite it being sealed when he burned it, he lies methinks, may of may not have had Gordon killed like some kind of Mafia Don meanwhile

Excerpt from Roberts big book of how to win acceptence in the dingle family

A) Try not to burn envelopes
B)Always have a big box of Tissues for Aarons crying eyes
C) Don't have fathers killed even if they are abusive.
D) And run far away from whatever wrath Liv is planning.

5)Aarsewipe had precisely when you cobine last night and the night before 14 minutes when he was relatively happy, 5 of which he was drinking from a boot. Was all fake upset at his fathers death with floods of fake tears and now thinks Rob killed Gordon, cue yet more floods of fake tears bah.

6) Live was genuinely upset her father died and blamed herself a bit and was well acted by the young actress.

7) Chas actually gave Live good advice, who knew she was capable.

8) Dr Bailey niftily got both himself and Emma out of Blackmail trouble, well done. Although what was the Lady Gaga lecture about/

9) Even Emma seemed impressed by Dr Bailey

10 The Barton boys - for once they all got on well and Pete decided to stay and Finn got a comedy picture - what fun.

11) Carly looked very nice by why did the writers have people tring to pick up up with unsuitable men, had Nailed on.

12) How com every woman seemed to be after Pierce when he is both incredibly sleazy and creepy.

13) Jai was a bit of a laughing stock this ep

14) Amelia lives yay.

15) Shut up Bland Brenda

3 - I was!

4 - He is the Robfather - although I'd be scared of what 'D' is going to entail

5 - 'Cry me a River' the producer said, so Aaron duly obliged

6 - She is a good little actress actually - I like her

7 - Best advice since she tried to warn Aaron about Robert a while back - moral of the story is listen to your mother - she may have the biggest gob this side of Hadrian's Wall but she knows a wrong-un when she sees one!

8 - That was very surreal - Lady GaGa - Dr Bailey's gone GaGa more like!

11 - I like Carly - there I've said it

12 - No idea

13 - No change there then

Just realised I've had a mini mildstone - takes me about a year to get a proper one, so I get quite pleased when I get a mini...

Box of Smarties and can of Orange For Alleycats Mini Mildstone

You're too kind Kwynne!

I'm sure there's some leftover kippers from my mildstone yesterday - the Malt's all gone though

leftover kippers, Sheepie - you certainly know how to celebrate!

Mini Synopsis of Episode

It was Edna's funeral, which by Emmerdale standards was fairly touching
A walkie Talkie, Tootsie, Sandy and Edna's hat helped Ashley find god again
and how did he thank Edna's hat?, he threw the poor lonely thing in the river
There were dramatic lighted shots of Ashley and Tootsie at the church door
Jimmy made a nice speech about Edna
Jason the policeman cleared up the fears that he himself had caused that Robert killed Gordon and then secretly arranged another date with Chas.
Robert instantly forgave Aaron for accusing him of murder and Aaron cried like in every other episode ever

Soaplife spoilers for te week of Mon 30 May - Fri 3 June

Mmmm, I love AngryCain.

Heheh, I might start liking Liv the Brat soon.

Oh gawd, Everything just goes round in circles! Maybe I need a soap break.

Mildly intrigued how weird Hot Bereaved Pierce is going to get. That's about all I've got to say.

Hope Cain gives Holly what fer, and looks hot while doing it. I'll take refuge in small pleasures.

My 33k Mildstone - enjoy

Analysis of emmerdale Characters (shortish Version.

1) Cry me a Total Eclipse of the Heart Aaron - we have just discovered crybaby is even worse when he's trying to be happy than when he's crying, maybe that's why he found yet another pathetic excuse to cry and break up pathetically with Robert since Robert neither did or said anything that merited yet another bout of over the top wet melodrama.

Total screentime between being happy with Chas and tearful melodrama with Robert 91 seconds a new record.

Total happy screentime for Aaron in the last 300 episodes 17 minutes and 5 of them was drinking from a boot last week

2) Poor Robert can't keep up with the ever changing well from abject misery to total misery and back again, nothing he said deserved Aaron hateful tearful ranting this time.


and then we get to Chas attempts to be Bonnie Tyler.

3) Nothing prepared me for the horror that was Chas managing to ruin Total Eclipse of the heart for evermore..

4) Pierce appears to be attempting to become Rakesh, first he steals his hairstyle and his non suit coat then he steals his job, watch out Rakesh he'll be after Priya yet.

5) Pugs have really bad piles apparently, so very exciting not Vanessa.

6) Rhona, Pierce is very creepy get rid of him

7) Tracy has become quite a nice likable character.

8) David try and cheer up.

9) Holly's face tightened up a bit more and she attempted to convey jealousy, taking the old saying your face might stick like that if you keep making that face to its logical conclusion.

10 Cain and Moira can be quite romantic when they want to be

A fine, fine post to celebration your mildstone with kwynne. Congrats.

Cain and Moira are hot as, no debate.

Good

Most kind

Congrats Kwynne - I managed to find a Cappucino out the coffee machine and a Banana to toast you with!

Agree with all the analysis!

Happy mildstone Kwynney

Thanks kindly.

What's this nonsense about having the village hall named after Edna all about

Edna herself would have been mortified at the vulgarity of it - a discreet bench somewhere around the village, yes - but to have the hall named after her, this quiet discreet woman who hated publicity

Its like Sandy chucking her favourite hat into the stream.

Its like these characters never knew Edna at all - though sadly, its more like the current storyliners / writers never knew the character at all.

I think with instances like this they get confused with attempting paying tribute to the actress and end up having ham fisted tributes on screen. I agree with what your saying but I think it comes from a good place

This one may be a short one as this episode was duller than dull Dan so am struggling to say anything interesting

Analysis of Emmerdale Characters

Emmerdale Struggling to recall continuity from one episode to the next at present we must be that dark screen time between producers.

1) Dylan - is here to teach David and Jacob life lessons about living with Cancer and then sadly die

2) David - Said he thinks everything will be ok after listening to Dylan life lesson, he teally shouldn't have said that - doomed himself to endless misery.

3) Jaycob made new friend and will no doubt soon lose him again.

4) Cloud of Misery and darkness Aarsewipe seemed quite proud of himself when he persuaded Liv to have her own money from Gordon when it was his cloud of sheer misery that had caused her to reject anyway. Are we supposed to be thankful that continuity is crap at the moment and we can't remember whether Aaron or Robert are together at any given moment.

5) Liv probably couldn't reject the money until she was 18 anyway since it in trust so shout up cloud of Misery and darkness you hateful piece of crap.

6) Vanessa was a good friend to Rhona but doesn't seem to have noticed Pierce playing silly games with her phone.

7) Rhona has rumbled Pierce, at least this episode but knowing the present continuity problems she will have forgotten all about it in tonights ep.

8) Rakesh dear your new plan to give Kirin money is even more stupid than what he's already doing not to mention an illegal fraud.

9) Pierce creepier than ever

10) The Travelling sheep at the start were sensible, they were getting the hell out of emmerdale..

11) And so is Pearl who is off on her actresses annual 6 month holiday

and I can't remember anything else from the episode

Analysis centrals review of the episode with some actual experimental activity involved.

1) Kwynne went out into a field after the episode and attempted Rhona's advice

So Kwynne screamed, ranted and raved at the pain and anguish inflicted on him by having to put up with Crybaby Cloud of Misery Aarsewipe on his TV.

Sadly didn't work

Bad and stupid Advice Rhona.

New Hollyoaks producer making Emmerdale in Hollyoaks quicker than I thought possible.

2) A very lucky metal detectorist was astonished while he was detecting on the cricket pitch discovered a wedding ring and a engagement ring and then passed them off as new and presented them to his girlfriend later than night when asking her to marry him. She said yes by the way

Sadly for him his excitement at finding the rings he missed out on finding the viking treasure horde buried in the field.

3) RIP Dylan we barely knew you.

4) David has only had 2 bouts of Chemo and he is already depressed and given up, show show fight David or put a wedding dress on

5) Rishi found a new kennel to house Jai or am I confused about what he was going on about.

6) Ashley is planning to build an Ark with the help of Sandy and Arthur, and why has Arthur stayed exactly the same age for the last 5 years.

7) There was a particularly nosey and interested Blonde extra listening into Ashley and Sandy planning to build the ship.

why can't they just build a treehouse like most parents.

8) And Vanessa next time a deranged lunatic invades your house call the police.

9) And Carly you may be pretty but don't let deranged lunatics into Vanessa's house.

ways how to get rid of Pierce as soon as possible

Part 1 Call the effing police Vanessa.

Weekly Bulletin of the Malt Shovel

It was Edna Birch's funeral in the village and it was well attended by her many friends in the village. For some unknown reason her hat was found in the river the next morning. It nearly sparked a police search because of fears that an old lady had fallen in the river.

Complaints have been made about people shouting and ranting in a field near the village, the council is investigating.

Poachers attempting to steal Llama's from Farmer Giles farm were arrested when the were bitten and stomped on by the angry Llama's, Foster jenkins 31 was badly bitten and remains in hospital, all the Llama's were fine.

Farmer Brown has won the prize of Having the best kept Chickens in the North of England.

Analysis of Emmerdale Characters

For 2 long episode not much happened.

Sidebar 1) even before I start - 8 year olds repeat 8 year olds should be kept away from dangerous tools at that age even under normal supervision.

1) Poor Arthur had a rather interesting day, first he cuts his hand then goes to hospital and then has a ride in a police car

2) Ashley - so what would have he done if Loopy Laurel hadn't conveniently come along at that point, would he have remembered Arthur or would he have had to be admitted by that nurse for being hopeless confused for not knowing why he was their.

Sidebar 2 Oh great the social services are coming, there is only one organisation in soap worse and incompetent that the Soap police and that's the soap Social services.

3) Loopy Laurel - all this is enough to drive someone to drink and Loopy Lush is only remotely interesting when she's drunk

4) Pierce - what is he upto exactly is he planning some horrible revenge on Rhona or something.

5) Oh Rhona you have let me down

6) Jaycub - with Dylan gone he has developed some kind of obsession that he has to keep David alive.

7) Megan she stomped her feet in her stall and neighed all over Rishi's attemptsto find Jai a bride

8) Jai - I think I preferred him when he was nasty.

9) Rishi's plan was always doomed

10) Vanessa - The nicest person in soap

11) Lawrence why did he give Chrissie that money when she appears to have loads already

12) Andy - in for a lucky night.

13) Chrissie - come on show lets see her in that maids outfit

14) April - Aww cute.