Oh my days, the C word....before HALLOWEEN? Madness!!

Ta muchly....chomp, sluuurrp

Hi Sleeps. I'm not surprised that you are always the 'Dog'.

The Christmas edition has different counters, all with a festive theme. Click here.

Hi there twassington.

*Pours bucket of beer dregs over twassingtons big head.*

Thank you for watering my sunflower ..... but you missed a bit...*turns water cannon on Eddy full blast and shoots him straight out into pub garden*

Right, that does it, you are coming off my Christmas card list.

Good afternoon.

Time to liven things up around here.

*Moves round Pub's tables and chairs to create dance area.. Finds suitable music on mobile device and calls Gorbals and Parton.*

Today it's the charleston.

Not not long to wait now. The first live SCD show is next Friday 23 September.

*rearranges furniture back to its proper place, leads Parton back into the gents, & let's Gorbals outside to play*
Chinny is not impressed with your behaviour, & neither am I. Get my beads back onto my dressing table! How very dare you prowl about in my private rooms!

Afternoon all
*pours self a large spritzer & puts feet up on the bar*

Afternoon all peepsicles! Cat business of the day attended to followed by a very nice lunch in the pub with two of the cat wimmin Not this pub I hasten to add. Er....that didn't come out quite as I intended it to.....................*cough*

Pot of tea and a toasted teacake please!

How very dare you!
What's wrong with eating here, I had spam fritters on the menu! *slam clatter*

Well had I known that I would have brought the cat wimmin here Instead of which we had egg and chips in one of the local pubs. Being classy and all that

I'll let you off this time........don't let it happen again!

Turned out to be another lovely day today. There was a wee nip in the air 1st thing this morning tho', & I had to clear the van windows of condensation!

Tis most odd, 48 hours ago we were all being roasted alive and sweating buckets, earlier I had to put the car heater on to defog the windows and thaw our feet Only in Britain

Good evening everyone.


Spoilsport. You are just put out that I haven't asked you to join in.

Gorbals and Parton are volunteers. They are well rewarded with all manner of sweet and unhealthy pet treats.

A stella please.

*peers through letterbox*

*pokes in the eyes whoever is peering through the letterbox* Bloomin' weirdo!

*opens pub* Morning all

*continues with countdown*..........

About time too!!! You missed me eyes

Pleasantly warm day of cloud and sun forecast....perfect. I am so done with the hot weather Large tea please and some peanut butter on toast, ta muchly

The hot weather really has got tae you ! .......... No marmite ?

Morning Twass, Sr, & all

I won't miss the next time!
Can I not get one lie-in a week?

I wouldn't know about lovely warm weather.
*slam clatter*


Morning Joe *clunk*

Errrrrrr, I don't think so........you greedy Englishers hogged all the sun/heat as per usual!

No they aren't volunteers, stop fibbing! Parton is traumatised, she just likes to stay in the gents. Gorbals has told me if you make him participate again he's gonna pee in yer shoes.
And also, Parton & Gorbals have both had the runs with the rubbish yer feeding them. If it happens again you'll be cleaning up after them!

Wot else has she told you " Mrs Doolittle " .......... The final countdown maybe ?

Who has been cleaning it up ?

Stooooopid person, Gorbals is a boy. ROLLEYES

Clearly not you!

Peanut butter is my second favourite toast topper after marmite. Everyone likes a bit of variety

More tea please!

Good evening.

Anyone serving? I'm fed up of using the vending machines.

*Helps self to a fresh stella from behind the bar. Leaves IOU by the till.*

cooooooooooo, you is chancing it

Good evening hooter. Hope you've had a good weekend.

Get yourself a drink, just charge my account.